Pls help my daughter

amother

Mon, Jul 01 2013, 8:32 pm

[quote="seeker) I'm not clear on whether she's been evaluated by an educational psychologist, but that's what I would hope. Also hope you've had her hearing tested, just to be sure, and asked the audiologist to include auditory processing in the testing (they don't always do this by default, but an audiologist is the one who should be diagnosing that kind of thing.)[/quote]

We never had her evaluated by an educational psychologist. She was tested by a Dr Hassan a Neurophysiologist who treats ADD/ADHD.

Do you have any recommendations for an educational psychologist in Brooklyn?

seeker

Mon, Jul 01 2013, 11:16 pm

Nice job with the desserts. That is EXACTLY what we're going for here: Her special thing, that she does well and enjoys both results and compliments. Any other special jobs you could give her (as long as they are a privilege and not a burden) are great.

I don't personally know an educational psychologist, but there are a lot of people here from Brooklyn, perhaps start a new thread stating in the title that you're ISO a good educational psychologist in Brooklyn. Also maybe try contacting agencies or organizations that work with this field; for example, Agudah has an office dealing with special ed needs, maybe they can make a referral.

Best of luck. You sound like a devoted mom.

sped

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 3:27 am

I have a friend whose daughter seemed similar. I worked with her in the third grade and she couldn't think of ANY subject she liked in school (including recess). My friend worked REALLY hard to build her up out of school. She was 9 years old, so it was different, but here are some things she did:
Once a week, she had the "responsibility" to cook the whole supper. (It was frozen soy shnitzels she put in the frying pan and frozen chips in the oven and salad). She did it herself, without any help, though her mother happened to be in the kitchen to watch at the more serious parts.
My friend also sent to a neighbors to "help" . The neighbor was sure to make a big deal about how she was helping her and gave her little treats and trinkets to thank her.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 6:25 am

My DD has learning issues too, and she had a really horrible time in 1st grade. Remember, it's the first REAL grade, so it's going to be a shock after kindy.

That summer, we got her a LeapPad and several learning games. She brought herself up two full grade levels in reading in one summer, and went into 2nd grade with a 4th grade reading ability. Take her to a Toys R Us and let her play on a LeapPad or Leapster and see if it clicks with her. If so, it's an excellent investment.

DD has since been diagnosed with Fragile X syndrome, which explains her problems with math and spatial reasoning. She's getting help with math through her IEP, but she struggles a lot. One of the things she really likes is when I'd give her a couple of dollars, and then let her figure out what nosh she wanted from the store. She had to do all the math in her head, to make sure she'd have enough money to get everything she wanted. She'd go back and forth, put things back, add things back in, change her mind, get something else, we could be there for up to 45 minutes until she was ready to go to the cash register.

If your DD is the type of kid who can listen to reason, try explaining to her that everyone's brain learns differently, and that you just need to find the right way to teach her brain. Keep repeating this, because it reinforces the concept that it's not her fault, and she's not dumb. It's like finding the combination to a lock, once you get it right then the learning will go in, but if you don't know the combination then the learning just sits there.

Go to YouTube and look up Rick LaVoie. Watch all of his videos on how to motivate and reach school age kids, especially ones with learning issues. He is AMAZING! I love that man so much.

Speaking of motivation, find out what your DD is obsessed with. Every kid has an obsession. For mine, it was ladybugs for many years. We'd do word math problems while she was playing in the bathtub. "5 ladybugs are having a party, and 4 more ladybugs came to visit. How many ladybugs are at the party now? 3 of the ladybugs had to go home. How many are left?" When she'd get the hang of it, I'd mix it up and make them snails, caterpillars, butterflies, bumblebees, anything that would make her giggle.

These days, it's all about horses, and the math gets harder. "If you have 5 horses, and 15 bales of hay, how many bales does each horse get?" You can divide the horses up by pastures, stalls, trainers, and do fractions, multiplication, all kinds of stuff!

For hands on science fun, you can't beat Steve Spangler. Incredible website with more kid safe experiments than you could ever imagine, many things that you don't even have to buy, you can do with stuff at home. There are videos and tutorials for all ages. I do recommend the jelly marbles, those things were a HUGE hit last year with DD. When she gets bored with them, just toss them in the garden, or into your potted plants.

marina

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 1:15 pm

I tend to be very behavioral in my extracurricular learning with the kids:

1. I limit sugar and snacks- candy, chips,etc. Dessert is only at bed time.

2. I limit computer /movie time- 30 min a day on school days, 1 hr on non-school days.

3. Math and reading are optional, but a child who does some math problems or reads a few pages can earn candy, chips, or extra screen time.

4. It works well, even for my reluctant child.

5. I do this all year round.

I know this post was all I I I I, but maybe some of it will help you.

An evaluation will be good. It may be useless to use a phonics-based approach with an ADHD kid. You'll probably want to do whole language/ word pattern instead.

amother

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 4:56 pm

You mentioned that your DD was diagnosed with a focusing problem and that vision therapy was recommended. I wanted to share my experience with this.

My 9 y/o son used to love reading. He recently started complaining that he was seeing double and having a hard time focusing on reading/ learning. We took him to a local eye doctor who recommended vision therapy for his problem (convergence insufficiency - google it for more info) . We wanted to hear a second opinion so went to a different highly recommended eye doctor who said the same thing. Everyone we spoke to about his issue gave us different advice and we were unsure how to proceed.

We were then referred to Dr. Muchnick, a top eye doctor in Manhattan. We actually saw his colleague Dr. Friedman, since he himself didn't have any available appts. I was really impressed with their eye exam methods - they tested many things that other doctors did not check out.

We were told that in addition to the other problem (CI), he had another issue - he was far-sighted! He is also a little near-sighted in one eye only, which means that his vision is uneven. With all these issues combined, his eyes were so stressed that it's no wonder he was so edgy and didn't like to read.

The doctor prescribed bifocals to correct these two issues and said that his convergence problem might also improve once he starts wearing the glasses. He's been wearing them for a few weeks and there has been a MAJOR improvement B"H. He can't stop reading and the double vision has disappeared!

marina

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 5:06 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you to all!!!! You gave me much food for thought and encouragement.

I"m confused, what is "whole language/ word pattern"?

Instead of "look honey, if you sound out S-N-A-K-E, it will be SNAKE" and magic e at the end of the word makes the A say its name...

you teach:

"here's the word snake. It has an A in the middle and an E at the end. We pronounce it SNAKE. Trace the word snake with your finger and say it two times while you trace it. Now trace it with a marker and say the word twice as you trace it. Now lets write the vowels in red marker and the rest of the word in blue marker. There are other words with the same pattern: CAKE BAKE RAKE. They rhyme."

Phonics tends to be much harder for the ADHD child because it taxes working memory quite a bit and ADHD kids aren't great with working memory and focus. Whole word is a more visual memory approach and many ADHD kids do better with that.

a1mom

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 7:57 pm

OP kudos to you for all the efforts you have expended so far, a lesser parent would have pushed the denial along, I know because I used to work in special ed in a mainstream setting and saw it happen far too often. Can you take field trips? a trip to a children's museum or farmers market can be turned into an educational experience without the kid realizing, think scavenger hunt, contest to see how many different items can be purchased for x amount of money, also cooking is excellent math and reading practice, I would also urge you that if she continues to struggle next year to not wait and see what additional services she can get at school, ie a resource room, pull out class or alternative program, kids that get help earlier on have a much greater likelihood of succeeding and mainstreaming back with out long term damage. its alot easier to unteach one or two years of bad learning experiences then 3 or 4.

Blue jay

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 10:26 pm

Since your daughter loves to play:
Here is a game I thought of called House detective:

Supplies: index cards or similar sized paper
Object: Find hidden prize or you (the mom) can Hide

Create a trail of cards throughout the house written in easy to read sentences. Start with a card that says "Gee, I was so hungry,,," then your dd will find the 1st clue placed in the fridge. Then continue this clue hunt to different locations of the house until your dd finds the prize. Your dd will probably need your help so it might be good to go on the clue hunt with her so you can help her sound out the words, Remember keep it easy! Simple sight words, at , the , go , to,,, eat etc.

Im playing this game with my soon to be second graders tomorrow. Good luck!

Happy2B1

Wed, Jul 03 2013, 12:10 am

My dd had the same diagnosis! And also did ff.
I found that when she had good teachers (not first year teachers) her year was good.
Her first grade teacher told me to have her evaluated. It wasn't until 4th grade that she got 100 on tests. I was so surprised that she did well onth test until I sat thru one of the classes and te teacher taught in many diff ways-acting, whiteboards, etc so she was able to pick up the material because it was just talking.
She just graduated 8th grade. She still can't read and I don't make her crazy, but all her teachers tell me that she is very bright and understands everything even though she reads it wrong in her mind it's somehow the right words and she can explain everything correctly.

I never felt like I should push her. We had some very tough years and some great ones. I'm glad I didn't make her crazy. She held her own the past few years, and dis well. Now we get to see what high school has in store for us;)

naomi2

Wed, Jul 03 2013, 11:35 am

I love all the suggestions but I also want to urge you to find a better placement for your daughter. maybe a smaller class or a special ed class. adhd and vision/focusing problems and auditory processing disorder are really impairing her learning, to the point where she can't follow the lessons and absorb materials. the work only gets harder each year. I would look into other programs and school because this is not about catching up over the summer. this is about your dd needing a different style of learning. a slower paced curriculum and more support in the classroom.
keeping her in mainstream and pulling her out for resource in math and resource in reading and vision/other therapy and counseling...makes for a child who is different than everyone, misses alot of classtime and generally will make her feel bad about herself.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 10:18 pm

naomi2 wrote:

That's great advice, but outside of Israel, where do you find a frum school that will take the time and effort to teach special needs kids? A full IEP is a big deal, and most frum teachers don't have the training or patience for it, and the schools don't have the budget to hire qualified professionals. (Besides, they only want "in the box" kids. Mad

)

That's why I had to put DD in a public school, after two Jewish schools almost ruined her for life. The last one kicked her out in the middle of second grade, and told me that "she's unteachable". shock