I slap my children sometimes

cuties' mom

Fri, Oct 04 2013, 4:55 am

I potch sometimes, but not out of anger or frustration. Last night I potched my autistic 4-year-old for climbing on the window sill when he was supposed to be in bed. The first time he did it last night, I took him down and told him he needs to go to sleep. The second time, I told him if it happens again he will get a potch. I asked him if he wants a potch and he said no. I said no climbing on the window and he lasted about 5 minutes before climbing up again. I didn't potch him hard. He didn't cry right away as it took him a while to realize that he was potched. It was more like a tap on his diaper and another tap on his hand when he didn't respond. He didn't climb on the windowsill again that night. I'm sure he will try again tonight and when I remind him that he got potched last night, he won't try again.
Different techniques work for different kids. You know your kids best. If you think that slapping is absolutely necessary, go with your judgement. If you think you are potching for the wrong reasons, figure out the right technique for your kids.

groisamomma

Fri, Oct 04 2013, 5:22 am

cuties' mom wrote:

I agree.

greenfire

Fri, Oct 04 2013, 6:44 am

ValleyMom said it best ~ what are you accomplishing ? nothing but hatred !

find other ways to actively discipline your child so they learn not to do something ... rather than learning that it's okay to hit & then they feel unloved ...

I certainly won't be condoning your slapping your children ~ regardless of why.

the world's best mom

Fri, Oct 04 2013, 6:45 am

I didn't include my child who has special needs in my general methods of discipline. He's a different story and I do potch him as a consequence sometimes- with a warning first. For him it's the only thing that works sometimes, but he is not the norm.

amother

Fri, Oct 04 2013, 1:57 pm

I believe that if you are doubting your method, you don't like it, as you said. So, first thing is, train yourself not to do it, for your kids and for yourself.I mean, it is bad for you too!! Take a deep breath, remember that we as mothers can try our best to educate, but part of it is the child's temperament ! read about stuff online, and one thing is true: positive reinforcement when they behave good is better than any punishment. My child had a morah who never punished the children in her class, she only rewarded good behavior and when they did something wrong, she would talk to them. They felt respected and they wanted to please her because she respected them!! She rarely had any troubles in her class.

sneakermom

Sat, Oct 05 2013, 6:35 pm

I did not read the entire thread. But if you are looking for a positive approach to discipline that works, read or watch on youtube the nurtured heart approach. Franticfrummy posted about it and I began using it with my kids and have seen a 70 percent improvement in behavior as well as a calmness in my kids.