Co-Sleeping | Imamother

Scrabble123

Thu, Aug 14 2014, 10:24 am

For those that do co-sleep, until what age do you co-sleep? Why do you do it? How do you work out when to be intimate if your child is always sleeping in your bed? I have many more questions, but I think that they will be asked as I get a better picture of what co-sleeping is.

Motherlee

Thu, Aug 14 2014, 10:55 am

amother wrote:

I co-sleep until I feel my child and I are ready to sop- usually at around 2 or 2.5 years old. We use dh's bed for intimacy.

Some questions:

Your two-year-old is just 'ready to stop'? Isn't that the hardest age to wean a child from something?

How can you be intimate with a two-year -old in the next bed?

Not bashing at all, just want to understand how it works.

busydev

Thu, Aug 14 2014, 1:14 pm

I co-sleep because I dont want to get out of bed multiple times a night to nurse.

With my first I just ended up co-sleeping because I (or dh) would get him the first time he woke up and then I would sleep with him till morning. as soon as he stopped nursing at night (@12mo), he stopped sleeping in my bed at night.

my second I planned to co-sleep. I got a larger bed with this in mind. I made it safe and he was over in his section and I had my own section. After 6 mo or so I moved him to his own crib in DS1's room and he starts off the night there and then joins me after his first nursing session. he isnt so good at staying in his own section anymore. I plan to stop when I night wean... possibly next week-since dh will be able to help. He will be 11.5mo.

For intimacy we usually put him in his crib in the other room (we had his crib set up even before he was 6mo- used it to diaper him and as a place to put him mostly out of DS1's reach).

busydev

Thu, Aug 14 2014, 1:16 pm

Motherlee wrote:

we have been intimate with both kids in our room. not at home, but when we go away for say y"t we have all been in one room. we manage. many others do to.

amother

Thu, Aug 14 2014, 1:24 pm

Motherlee wrote:

Same amother here.

My children were all either 2 or 3 when they stopped going to sleep in my bed. The toddler bed would become theirs and they loved it. I would ease them into their new bedtime routine by staying with them as they fall asleep for the first few days. They still came into my bed during the night for a couple of more years.

We have been intimate with all of our children in the room, asleep, when we are away from home. We have no problem with a sleeping baby being there.

HonesttoGod

Thu, Aug 14 2014, 3:23 pm

Intimacy with a young child/toddler in the room, whilst quite weird is definitely do-able.

I think they say from around 5 a child should not be in the room? But a sleeping child is definitely not a problem you just have to keep extra quiet and under the blanket.

seeker

Thu, Aug 14 2014, 4:39 pm

I think a lot depends on the child, you have to find what works for the whole family. One moved out at around 13 months, she was getting too hard to sleep with and the transfer went well (I'd thought I was ready a few times before but she obviously wasn't.) The other did not learn how to sleep in a crib by herself until around 20 months, and as you may or may not have noticed in a certain other thread concurrently, she has now reverted but we are so finished sleeping with her that we're pushing for it anyway.

Regarding intimacy I recall learning that you should not do it in the same room once a child reaches talking age (even while sleeping - besides, how can you guarantee they'll stay asleep? They don't always make noise the second they awaken either! I would not want to finish and then discover little eyes peeping!) My child likes to nap in her stroller so nights when I'm anticipating something I'll just put her to sleep in the stroller. If she's fast asleep in the crib and DH needs something, we'll do it with her in the room but I'm not comfortable with that and will make sure it's silent and under covers.