Childhood fears | Imamother

gryp

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 6:41 pm

What do you do when your child has unreasonable fears? How do you get past them?
My 3 year old just started being scared of everything! birds, cats, even some people. He wants me to hold him as we walk down the street. What practical steps do I take to teach him to overcome these unreasonable fears?

So far I've told him that Hashem is watching over us and we should only be scared of Hashem. He came up with the idea of asking Hashem to make the ketzele (kitty-cat) go away. It helped a bit, but these fears are illogical, nothing you can say will help.

I tried to show him interesting things about birds- he can watch them eat, walk, fly, sit on a roof- to make his interest overtake his fear, which helps only at a distance.

What else can I do to keep him in control and not give in to his fears?

greenfire

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 6:48 pm

I think that you can only continue to show him that there is no need to fear and that you are not afraid and eventually he will feel as comfortable as you do.

poelmamosh

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 7:46 pm

my 3 yr old daughter is (was) the same... she's getting over a lot of it now. (I must add here that I was extremely skeptical of this solution Rolling Eyes

but it worked!) She's really into playing mommy and grownup, so one day as she's 2.5 and hiding her face in my husband's shoulder on account of the cat downstairs, dh asks, Is tatty afraid? mommy? other relatives (some closer to her age)? here's the clincher:
when you'll grow up, will you be afraid? he did this two or three times, and then -
one day we're walking down the street and dd calmly walks by a (leashed) dog and says: mommy, is that a ketzele (cat)? hund (dog)? I have moirah (fear) but when I'm bigger, I won't be afraid...

mommy2

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 7:57 pm

u can buy a stuffed bird and other kosher animals, show pictures of those animals, I know u wont buy a stuffed dog, cat... but I dunno maybe short term just to get over the fear. Once u've neutralized him to the pictures and stuffed animals u can walk into the pet shop and model braveness when u see animals. for ex: maybe not you, maybe ur husband can go over and pet a dog.

gryp

Mon, Mar 05 2007, 8:12 pm

Poel Mamosh, I'll do that every time now, thanx. He told me today that he's little so that I should hold him.

Mommy2, he knows what these things are. we have books with birds and other types of animals in them. it's like he just realized that these things are ALIVE!! (yikes! Rolling Eyes

) it takes an hour to walk down our block these days. at least all we've got are birds and cats. if it were dogs I'd be running too! LOL

rainbow baby

Sat, Apr 07 2007, 7:16 pm

I find that it is harder when the child has had a scarey experience with an animal. I have two experiences of this. The first one was last year when my little son was sting by a wasp. He was not scared of them untill one day he in my room and he calmly said to me a wasp has hurt my foot. He had stood on a wasp and got stung. Since then every time he sees a fly, wasp or bee he goes mad.

The next experience only happened on Thursday, we went for a walk in the countryside and went through a farm, a huge and when I say huge I mean huge dog came barking upto my three year old, he's know terrified of doge.

So my question is how do you deal with this fear when a child has had a bad expereince with an animal?

chocolate moose

Sat, Apr 07 2007, 10:53 pm

He might grow out of them, and he might be a very sensitive child. ....I was pretty sensitive but eventually learned to live my own life . . nut then, later in life, developed some irrational fears.

It's not easy . . .

Coke Slurpee

Fri, Apr 13 2007, 12:28 pm

I think the best way to overcome any fear- is with slow safe exposures. Basically, if your child is afraid of a dog or bird- you might want to find s/one who has one as a pet and show your child the animal from a distance with the pet in a cage or the dog on a leash being calm. Doing this a few times untill your child is comfortable with looking from a distance. Slowly bring your child closer, slowly with each visit, taking cues from your child on when it is getting too much or scarey for them. Eventually you should be able to bring your child to a normal comfort level. That doesnt mean your child will not be afraid at all- just that he/she will be able to control thier behavior enough to get through whatever the situation is without freaking out and needing to be held.

amother

Fri, Apr 13 2007, 1:22 pm

to him they are reasonable. tell him U UNDERSTAND how he feels and ask him why he is scared of them? discuss it with him. it might help, but I dont think u can make someone be unafraid of something they are. Its prob a stage and will pass.

gryp

Mon, Apr 16 2007, 11:13 am

I tried to do basically what you posted- slow safe exposure. not that we got too close, but he doesn't freak out anymore when we walk down the street.

Coke Slurpee

Mon, Apr 16 2007, 11:44 am

I'm happy it worked so fast for you- It probably worked fast because you caught it right away.

My kids have a terrible fear of heights, unfortunately it is hereditary and will take a very long time for them to overcome it.

gryp

Mon, Apr 16 2007, 12:29 pm

Fear of heights is a tough one. How high are they scared of going? Do they get dizzy or anything at a certain height, or is it just plain fear?

yersp

Wed, Apr 18 2007, 12:30 am

My three yr old has been waking up recently screaming in fear. Today she tells me she's afraid the cat and/or dog will come and eat her up. Now she's sleeping in my bed and guess she'll be my companion for tonight but I don't want this to be the solution. Any ideas how I can help her get over it and sleep through the night like she used to??? please help!!! I'm getting desperate here!!