Expecting and financially stressed

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Dec 30 2015, 10:07 am

My DH and I both work. We live in NY and life/rent is expensive. The past 3-4 months we have been JUST making the rent, it's been so under the wire. I have a reasonably steady income every 2 weeks (albeit it lower than I deserve, but this is a job I had to stay at due to a few reasons, can't look for a better one now as I am due any day), no maternity benefits so time off means no income for me (I am
Hoping to do my current job from home as soon as I can to bring in money or find a better one). My DH has his own business but it is commission only so he only gets paid when his sales go through. He does work hard, I see it and have witnessed him working and trying as many business opportunities as possible. However, the truth is that we are not doing well financially; his income is unstable (some months are great some aren't) and can't afford needed furniture for the house, winter boots, upcoming needs for baby such as car seat, stroller etc. I have been very thrifty and found some excellent used baby clothes and furniture online at very low prices and looked into gemachs.
When I bring up the financial bind we are in to my husband, he becomes very defensive and tells me I worry too much, lists the things I have worried about things in the past that have since worked out and says that he is trying his best.
He admits later on when he cools down that it is hard for him to hear and he feels like a failure as a husband and future father.
I do my best to support him and tell him I'm proud of him for his efforts etc... But again, when I bring up the cold hard truth he doesn't want to hear it and tells me it will be fine with emuna and bitachon, and that he is working hard to improve things. He also justifies our situation by saying that many newly married couples go through this. That may be true but I am not concerned about others right now, I am concerned about our family. And we are in our 30's, not newly married 19 year olds who have never worked.
I have not said much until last night because I don't want my DH to feel bad. However... Rent is due on Friday and again, we are barely making it. I do not want that to be our standard! I struggled for a long time on my own and now that I'm married I'm upset that I'm worrying just as much about money as I was when I was single (I supported myself 100% for many years before getting married). I feel that my husband didn't really grow up and now is being forced to. He depended on free rent from family members for years and years and didn't work as much as he could have. Now he has to be an adult!
Any insight is appreciated. Thanks