Having a non-jew babysit

Motek

Tue, Jul 03 2007, 6:01 pm

Raisin wrote:

I have had similar problems with a Jewish (but not frum) woman.

which is why a brother-in-law of mine will not allow non jews or irreligious Jews to care for his children (easier when you live in Lakewood or Yerushalayim!)

mimivan

Tue, Jul 03 2007, 6:04 pm

Talia wrote:

Kasherous is a BIG issue. Even if they say that they will follow it, it must be of concern to you. I know a Gentile who placed a chicken bone on a dairy plate. When I was putting the dish away in the 'to be koshered cabinet', she said, "It doesn't really matter anyway". They really can't understand and appreciate why we keep it. It has no meaning or value to them.

Having a Gentile cleaning lady falls under the same category. If she is going to clean your kitchen, you better be there to watch her clean the counters and switch cloths between milchig & fleshig.

That's why I would be scared to hire a non-jew to clean for Pesach...How could they possibly understand why every little crumb is important?

bashinda

Tue, Jul 03 2007, 6:05 pm

amother wrote:

how many Jewish frum babysitters do you know?????
I have found ONE in months of searching (and she will not start at 6:30am when I need her). Jewish babysitters run playgroups or 9-3 babysitting services in their homes...very few will accomadate the needs of working women. I need someone in my house for 12 hours a day....where do I find a Jewsih women who will do that???
If you know of any, please send them my way.
Do you think I and other mothers dont feel bad enough for leaving our children.
Yes, they are a gift from Hashem, we love them, we want the best for them, but I also need food or them and medical care and money to pay rent...so I have to work....and hence I need soemone who will care for them while I do what I have to do.
So we look for the best....

are you in BP? I might know someone. PM me. I'm telling you everyone told us we would not find someone to watch our babies at night and B"H we found someone. Daven to Hashem and give some tzedaka and try to network as much as possible. If you're in Brooklyn call your community council. They might know someone else to call.

Motek

Tue, Jul 03 2007, 6:55 pm

TammyTammy wrote:

Choose the best babysitter for your child(ren)... regardless of whether they are Jewish, not-Jewish, black, white, purple, etc.

Sounds like you think "best" includes physical and maybe emotional care but not spiritual care. How can it be best if the spiritual angle is missing?

Marion

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 1:48 am

Are we talking babysitting or daycare? And for what ages? There's a huge difference in my mind between getting a sitter so I can go out with DH for a few hours in the evening (when DS will be asleep anyway), or because neither of us can pick him up from daycare, and getting someone for six to twelve hours a day, every day of the week.

Also, for how many kids? When I was a teenager and I would babysit, I wouldn't take more than 4 kids without permission to bring a friend. That friend was not always Jewish (one of my best friends and one of the best co-sitters I know is Baptist). We split the duties in such a way that she was never in the kitchen herself (although if you challenge her, to this day she can keep a perfectly kosher -- albeit not mehadrin -- kitchen). The two of us always ate together AFTER the kids were in bed, so they wouldn't see that although she made a quick blessing before she ate, she didn't make one after. And she knew to dress appropriately, the definition of which depended on where exactly we would be. After I left the city, a lot of the parents we sat for together chose to continue employing her.

This is not a problem I have, since I live in Israel. But I have trouble finding a reliable sitter period, so if the one I found happened to not be Jewish, I'd go with her. It would probably mean more planning on my part, but a good sitter is worth a little extra work, no?

shalhevet

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 2:00 am

GR wrote:

Shalhevet was just asking if Lubavitchers leave their kids with non-Jewish babysitters, that's all.

Maybe stop being so paranoid GR.
That's not what I meant at all. Only Lubs are careful not to go to the zoo when pregnant? I know plenty of people who are not Lub who are machmir on this. I was only trying to say (no idea if I'm right) that maybe sometimes it's the same mothers who are so so careful about any spiritual harm to their unborn babies but would then leave them exposed to much more (in my opinion) spiritual damage by having a non-Jew look after them when they are already born.
OK the animals on the clothes is a Lub minhag, but it was just an example which came to mind as something that had been discussed here.

BinahYeteirah

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 2:58 am

I thought you were talking about Lubavitchers, too, but I don't think I'm paranoid.

I do agree with you about having non-Jewish babysitters, but I thought it was a little rude to point out how horrified you are that people who keep minhagim that you and your rav consider "absolutely unnecessary" would possibly have non-Jewish babysitters.

gryp

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 9:31 am

I'm not being paranoid, Shalhevet. I thought I would clarify for those who you confused.

You brought down 2 things the Lubavitcher Rebbe told us:
a) not to look at treife animals and the like while pregnant
b) only kosher animals on toys and in books and on clothing

Who else does that besides Lubavitchers, please tell me, and WHY?

TammyTammy

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 10:28 am

Motek wrote:

TammyTammy wrote:

Choose the best babysitter for your child(ren)... regardless of whether they are Jewish, not-Jewish, black, white, purple, etc.

Sounds like you think "best" includes physical and maybe emotional care but not spiritual care. How can it be best if the spiritual angle is missing?

Of course the spiritual counts too. However, you have to find the best mix of all three. Finding a babysitter with great ruchniyos doesn't mean anything if your kid is going to be miserable all day.

If you can get the best of all three (spiritual, physical and emotional), then great. But not everyone lives in an ideal world.

I still stand by statement... get the best babysitter for your child. Anything else is short-sighted and harmful in the end.

Tammy