Which is a better day in the eyes of G-d?

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Interesting Discussions

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Dec 25 2017, 5:26 pm

1. Where you "encourage" just a little, for your kids to daven, or wear tefilin, or learn for 5 minutes, and they so but are grumpy

OR

2. Where you just let them be on screens all day, where they are literally completely wasting time playing something like snake, but they are happy

Is it better to just give up?

leah233

Mon, Dec 25 2017, 5:37 pm

(1) Hands down. Once they stop with Tefilin, Shabbos and OTD may be following shortly.

If putting on Tefilin (presumably for just a minute or two)and learning for five minutes causes someone to be grumpy a whole day on a day that is being spent on electronic devices anyhow there is a much larger issue going on that has nothing to do with religion.

Last edited by leah233 on Mon, Dec 25 2017, 5:40 pm; edited 1 time in total

ontheotherside

Mon, Dec 25 2017, 5:39 pm

I believe a little bit of both. Correction: I think kids have way to much screen time in general and I dry to give them activities in general”.

Being forced to do something doesn’t have a positive feeling about it. I try to teach my children and send them to a school that does the same that teaches love and understanding why we do the learning, davening ect. My girls are 9 and 11 and I don’t tell them more than once. I say (if it’s a day off) if you want to Daven now would be a good time. Can you help mommy bake something for shobbos that would be a huge help. I know it’s sunday but it’s a long day how about you study parsha and then do xyz......I grew up in that environment of being “forced” and it backfired. I always say I donno where my kids come from! But I believe it coming from the approach whatever you do, know why your doing it and appreciate that your able to do it!!! Hope this helps a tad.

tweety1

Mon, Dec 25 2017, 5:39 pm

I dont have an answer but if you're asking such a question I'm sure you can use some
Hug

greenfire

Tue, Dec 26 2017, 3:57 pm

לכל זמן ועת there is a time for everything, so a balance is where it's at

imasoftov

Wed, Dec 27 2017, 2:48 am

leah233 wrote:

Stopping tefillin may indeed be a step along the way to going OTD, but if all a parent does is encouraging that, they may be treating the symptom.

I'd say that "which is a better days in the eyes of G-d" is a question beyond anyone's pay grade (unless maybe prophecy has returned, a prophet did tell us what sort of fast God wants). Maybe, OP, tell us more about how you encourage them (and why you put the word in quotes) and what sort of resistance you get.

I've also liked greenfire's post.

salt

Wed, Dec 27 2017, 5:37 am

I'm surprised you say they're happy when they're on their screens all day.

I find my kids to be irritable when they're too long on the computer.

But in answer to your question. Are their other things in their day that they 'need' to do. Do you make them have breakfast? Do they have to get dressed, brush their teeth.
Davening could just be another little thing they ought to get done before they start their day.
I sometimes write an age appropriate list for my kids on vacation days - the things they should be doing today - they tick them off when they're done.
It even includes really basic things, to make it easy to tick things off.

bathroom.
wash hands.
get dressed.
brush hair.
daven.
breakfast.
put pile of clothes away.
read a chapter of your book.
Now do what you want...
eat lunch.
finish math homework.
go outside and run around for 10 mins.
Now do what you want...

That way it becomes just 'something we do'
Also, of course must be coupled with self-example.

Page 1 of 1