Invitation/Thank you note question!

amother

Lemon

Thu, May 24 2018, 9:09 pm

We are about to send invitations for an upcoming simcha for one of my children. However, another one of my children who recently had a simcha hasn't finished thank you notes yet for the gifts. Is it awful for people to get the new invitation without having received a thank you yet for the other simcha's gifts? The other simcha was before Pesach. (Thank you's are almost done, but not quite! The next invitations need to go out in the next few days!)
Thank you!

Fox

Thu, May 24 2018, 9:26 pm

Based on my recent experience, I'd say the most common reaction will be confusion.

Druscilla was married at the end of December, and her twin, Prunella, will by getting married in about two weeks, I"YH. I sincerely hope Druscilla has finished her thank you notes, but I probably don't want to examine the issue too closely.

That said, the situation has sparked all kinds of sholom bayis problems among our friends and acquaintances. At least 5 or 6 separate couples have told us that they got into disagreements because one spouse thought the other was simply confused.

"Whaddayou mean? How can there be a Fox family vort? I thought we went to the chassunah!"

"Why are we getting another invitation? Hasn't that chassunah already happened?"

"I think you're just confused. The Fox girl already got married."

One couple actually came to the vort as we were cleaning up. They'd had, ahem, words about whether the wife was hallucinating and ended up calling around to try to verify the facts.

Not to mention that people want a say in the menu, feeling that they have experience now. My DH was accosted by a friend on the way home from shul last week who wanted to know if we were serving the same chicken soup as last time. He was disappointed to learn that we weren't, and he's lobbying hard for a change.

So I wouldn't worry too much about it. Try to prod Child A to finish up the notes, but except for a few elderly great-aunts, most people won't be keeping close tabs.

zaq

Fri, May 25 2018, 6:48 am

DC #1 should finish up his or her TY notes because it’s the right thing to do, not because a sibling is about to send out invitations. One thing has nothong to do with the other.

Give people credit for a shred of seichel. If they’re close enough to be invited to your simchas, they’re close enough to know you have more than one child of an age to be celebrating simchas. Your friends can read, can they not? Then they can figure out that Sheindy is the one who got married before Pesach and Kreindy is the one getting married before the Three Weeks.

FTR your situation is hardly unique. Pe sometimes celebrate simchas in even swifter succession than you. Sometimes siblings get married within two weeks of each other (think family flying in from EY) or a sister has a bat mitzvah within a month of her brother’s bat mitzvah.