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-> Fashion and Beauty
amother
Burlywood
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Sat, Apr 13 2019, 12:11 pm
just noting, that covering your hair with hair that is natural looking like %99 of the Sheitels today, is missing the point on this Mitzva. The essence of this Mitzva is to conceal the pretty look of an Eshes Ish with hair. Nowhere is it brought down that a married woman just needs to cover her very own hair, as if there is something passul about the hair that's attached to her head. If this was the case, then this would fall under the category of Mitzvos we don't understand the reason of, such as Para Aduma, ect.
Hair is one the prettiest features a woman has, and therefore this was specifically forbidden to an Eshet Ish, who is unallowed to reveal "the hair look" in public. Wearing a Sheitel of 2019, is wrong, and not what Hashem had in mind, to say the least.
OP - I'm with you. I too, struggle with this Mitzva, it is so so hard. I miss those days when I was single, and my hair was my pride. I've been covering it for 7 years now and my blond highlights are gone. I used to where a Sheitel like everyone else in my family, but recently, I decided to investigate that nagging feeling I always had about wigs, which never made sense to me. I researched this topic for hours, 100 +. And what I found was mindboggling. Today I'm the only woman in my community who covers with a simple pre-tie. Even the Rav of our Shuls wife, wears an updated wig and it's far from easy. I can write a book about this nisayon, confusion, frustration and doubts.
Bottom line, in a generation like today when we are all so confused and lost, the only solution is moshiach, who will reveal himself and show us the truth.
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finallyamommy
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Sat, Apr 13 2019, 2:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Please help me find ways to start liking this mitzvah (or at least tolerate it better).
I'm self-conscious in sheitels that are recognizable as sheitels. I don't like the wrapunzel look (on me) even though some people look great in it. I need something that looks natural but it also needs to be very easy to do, because I'm not talented enough to do fancy wrapping or tying. Something along the lines of a pre-tied tichel with clip in bangs might work best, but even that's hard to get right. Ugh. I've been married several years and this is still a really frustrating mitzvah for me. Any ideas? I feel ugly covering my hair. :-( |
I didn't read the whole thread because it got a little ridiculous...OP, have you tried a band fall? They look super natural with a tiny bit of hairline in the front.
Or, if you'd rather cover all of your hair, what about covering a sheitel? It would be less recognizable as a sheitel if it had a band or a hat over it.
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liora25
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Sat, Apr 13 2019, 3:00 pm
The best thing I ever bought was a pony wig fall, a winderwig type but I bought a Chinese brand , I feel like I’m wearing a hat , it’s out my face, looks good and I feel good
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amother
Bisque
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Sat, Apr 13 2019, 9:30 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | just noting, that covering your hair with hair that is natural looking like %99 of the Sheitels today, is missing the point on this Mitzva. The essence of this Mitzva is to conceal the pretty look of an Eshes Ish with hair. Nowhere is it brought down that a married woman just needs to cover her very own hair, as if there is something passul about the hair that's attached to her head. If this was the case, then this would fall under the category of Mitzvos we don't understand the reason of, such as Para Aduma, ect.
Hair is one the prettiest features a woman has, and therefore this was specifically forbidden to an Eshet Ish, who is unallowed to reveal "the hair look" in public. Wearing a Sheitel of 2019, is wrong, and not what Hashem had in mind, to say the least.
OP - I'm with you. I too, struggle with this Mitzva, it is so so hard. I miss those days when I was single, and my hair was my pride. I've been covering it for 7 years now and my blond highlights are gone. I used to where a Sheitel like everyone else in my family, but recently, I decided to investigate that nagging feeling I always had about wigs, which never made sense to me. I researched this topic for hours, 100 +. And what I found was mindboggling. Today I'm the only woman in my community who covers with a simple pre-tie. Even the Rav of our Shuls wife, wears an updated wig and it's far from easy. I can write a book about this nisayon, confusion, frustration and doubts.
Bottom line, in a generation like today when we are all so confused and lost, the only solution is moshiach, who will reveal himself and show us the truth. |
You're mistaken about the reason for the mitzvah. It is a mitzvah that many struggle to understand; rabbanim included. While there are reasons we can understand it's not necessarily the reason. Don't assume you know better than these rabbanim whose wives do wear wigs. I know a lot about the subject too and I'm leaning towards nice wigs that cover a woman's real hair. One reason that's discussed is that certain klippos attach to the hair of a married woman. That doesn't apply to even a gorgeous wig.
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amother
Olive
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Sat, Apr 13 2019, 10:58 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | just noting, that covering your hair with hair that is natural looking like %99 of the Sheitels today, is missing the point on this Mitzva. The essence of this Mitzva is to conceal the pretty look of an Eshes Ish with hair. Nowhere is it brought down that a married woman just needs to cover her very own hair, as if there is something passul about the hair that's attached to her head. If this was the case, then this would fall under the category of Mitzvos we don't understand the reason of, such as Para Aduma, ect.
Hair is one the prettiest features a woman has, and therefore this was specifically forbidden to an Eshet Ish, who is unallowed to reveal "the hair look" in public. Wearing a Sheitel of 2019, is wrong, and not what Hashem had in mind, to say the least.
OP - I'm with you. I too, struggle with this Mitzva, it is so so hard. I miss those days when I was single, and my hair was my pride. I've been covering it for 7 years now and my blond highlights are gone. I used to where a Sheitel like everyone else in my family, but recently, I decided to investigate that nagging feeling I always had about wigs, which never made sense to me. I researched this topic for hours, 100 +. And what I found was mindboggling. Today I'm the only woman in my community who covers with a simple pre-tie. Even the Rav of our Shuls wife, wears an updated wig and it's far from easy. I can write a book about this nisayon, confusion, frustration and doubts.
Bottom line, in a generation like today when we are all so confused and lost, the only solution is moshiach, who will reveal himself and show us the truth. |
This is completely WRONG. OP please don’t listen to this. Hair covering is its own mitzva, we don’t do it for “tznius”. I learned several explanations for the reason behind this mitzva and “concealing the beauty of an eshes ish” is definitely not one of them.
If natural, growing-out-of-the-scalp type wigs makes it easier for you to do the mitzva of kisui rosh, go for it.
As a matter of fact, the Lubavitcher Rebbe stressed that women should cover their hair with beautiful and natural wigs.
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trixx
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Sat, Apr 13 2019, 11:21 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | just noting, that covering your hair with hair that is natural looking like %99 of the Sheitels today, is missing the point on this Mitzva. The essence of this Mitzva is to conceal the pretty look of an Eshes Ish with hair. Nowhere is it brought down that a married woman just needs to cover her very own hair, as if there is something passul about the hair that's attached to her head. If this was the case, then this would fall under the category of Mitzvos we don't understand the reason of, such as Para Aduma, ect.
Hair is one the prettiest features a woman has, and therefore this was specifically forbidden to an Eshet Ish, who is unallowed to reveal "the hair look" in public. Wearing a Sheitel of 2019, is wrong, and not what Hashem had in mind, to say the least.
OP - I'm with you. I too, struggle with this Mitzva, it is so so hard. I miss those days when I was single, and my hair was my pride. I've been covering it for 7 years now and my blond highlights are gone. I used to where a Sheitel like everyone else in my family, but recently, I decided to investigate that nagging feeling I always had about wigs, which never made sense to me. I researched this topic for hours, 100 +. And what I found was mindboggling. Today I'm the only woman in my community who covers with a simple pre-tie. Even the Rav of our Shuls wife, wears an updated wig and it's far from easy. I can write a book about this nisayon, confusion, frustration and doubts.
Bottom line, in a generation like today when we are all so confused and lost, the only solution is moshiach, who will reveal himself and show us the truth. |
Source please
And yes it is brought down in Zohar
Once I realized that I have to simply cover my hair because I'm married, not for any other reason, I was able to accept it.
OP you sound like you haven't yet found a good solution. I have seen falls that were so natural I didn't know they were covering til they told me. Could you ask your local shaitel person for help or do you want recommendations?
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Israeli_C
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Sun, Apr 14 2019, 1:51 am
Lol every time a thread about headcovering emerges, this anonymous ima with blonde hair who took to pretieds swans in. I wish she'd listen to those who rightfully informed her that haircovering is nothing to do with looking unattractive or 'looking married' (um, many Rabbanim pasken that divorced women and widows also need to cover).
When I started wearing a wig in my DL community, I got a lot of ignorant remarks. I'm chabad and am fulfilling the mitzvah according to how the Rebbe instructed LEHATCHILA. Anyone who's getting grief for wearing a wig from those who understand Hebrew should instruct them to check out this video- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnOoVUKcMpo
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amother
Tangerine
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Sun, Apr 14 2019, 2:01 am
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | just noting, that covering your hair with hair that is natural looking like %99 of the Sheitels today, is missing the point on this Mitzva. The essence of this Mitzva is to conceal the pretty look of an Eshes Ish with hair. Nowhere is it brought down that a married woman just needs to cover her very own hair, as if there is something passul about the hair that's attached to her head. If this was the case, then this would fall under the category of Mitzvos we don't understand the reason of, such as Para Aduma, ect.
Hair is one the prettiest features a woman has, and therefore this was specifically forbidden to an Eshet Ish, who is unallowed to reveal "the hair look" in public. Wearing a Sheitel of 2019, is wrong, and not what Hashem had in mind, to say the least.
OP - I'm with you. I too, struggle with this Mitzva, it is so so hard. I miss those days when I was single, and my hair was my pride. I've been covering it for 7 years now and my blond highlights are gone. I used to where a Sheitel like everyone else in my family, but recently, I decided to investigate that nagging feeling I always had about wigs, which never made sense to me. I researched this topic for hours, 100 +. And what I found was mindboggling. Today I'm the only woman in my community who covers with a simple pre-tie. Even the Rav of our Shuls wife, wears an updated wig and it's far from easy. I can write a book about this nisayon, confusion, frustration and doubts.
Bottom line, in a generation like today when we are all so confused and lost, the only solution is moshiach, who will reveal himself and show us the truth. |
Just wanted to say that I agree with you 100%
But since wigs are so widespread I don’t like expressing this opinion publicly. I do my thing and what I feel Hashem wants from me and respect others for doing theirs.
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