I think I'm being abused ...

amother

Sun, Nov 04 2007, 8:13 am

If you have tried all the other options then it appears your only choice is to set stricter rules & boundries. And yes even kicking her out of the house.It is not an act defeat. It is an act of strength. She will know that you have set a limit. She either lives by the rules or gets out. She is making the choice, not you.( Are there other children in the house that could be in danger?) One of the rules must be intensive therapy with an appropriate proffesional. If there is no proffesional that can help then the only conclusion is that she simply wants to behave this way & making your life misserable.I highly doubt that so get out there & find the right help.

amother

Sun, Nov 04 2007, 2:45 pm

Quote:

have a small kid who when angry starts to hit out at me, or to throw things all over.
I dont know how to handle it. Hitting back isnt an option, it wont help either, may just let out my anger. How am I supposed to react? Sending the child to calm down in his room wont work, coz he doesnt stay there, but comes running back out, screaming.

he is doing that because he is uopset about something, or being treated wrongly, which makes him angry. kids hit or act up when something is BOTHERING THEM.

the way id deal with it if it were my kid, is TRY HARD and figure out what the problem is (like what made them angry that they hit.... talk and accept thier feelings about it, and give them more positive things to do with thier emotions.

for example. when my second was born my daughetr was understanbly jealous. (weve worked on that bh shes not at all anymore) so, when she wanted to come hit him I made sure to state matter of factly how we touch a baby GENTLY< and hitting is not ok, it can hurt, AND tthe REAL ISSUE:

I told her that if she wants to spend time with mommy, she doesnt have to HIT the baby, she can use words to tell me how shes feeling like "mommy, I also want to spend time with you, can you please put the baby down, So you can hold me?" and I would give her a big kiss and tell her how much I love her, and that sometimes I hold the baby more because he doesnt know how to walk. Id make sure to involve her in everything, and make sure to spend one on one time with her. Id talk to her how much the baby loves her and looks up to her and will learn from her how to be gentle......

once we dealt with the REAL issue, jealousy, the HHitting diasppeared! because she now knows, that when something bothers her about the baby, she can TELL ME, and ill HELP HER.

(thats just one example to show why a child does something and how we should deal with the issue positivly and help the child with better ways to deal with thier real emotions, that are OK, always.)

triLcat

Fri, Nov 09 2007, 4:51 am

If you feel your child is a threat to you, a hospitalization may be the best option for the child.

Either the environment is supporting the behavior or it isn't strong enough to stop it (I hope the latter). A different environment is probably crucial at this point.

I (and yes, I'm intentionally not posting anonymously, because I think people have to stop hiding their weaknesses and admit them to defeat them) have cyclothymia which is a mild form of bipolar. I used to have fits of rage and suicidal tendencies (including attempts). After one week in a psychiatric hospital, I made more progress than I had in years.

B"H, I'm now on good medications, I understand my problem better than I did, and my husband knows how to give me the support I need.

A hospitalization may be the best thing you can do for your child - even if it seems like a horrible thing.