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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
OP
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Mon, May 20 2019, 2:51 pm
I just need to vent.
I am super duper frustrated, upset and depressed about our situation.
My husband has been out of a normal job for a long time.
He has done some odds and end jobs here and there and made very little $.
Right now he has no job.
So the last 2 month there is no money coming in from him.
I do work also, but it barely covers anything.
It is so so hard.
Even when he worked, it wasn't enough to pay tuition and rent. We are not spenders.
We only buy the minimum, food and basic necessities.
Yes I know there are here and there organisations that give some food and other stuff, but Its not enough to live on.
How much longer am I gonna be able to survive/deal with this.
I dont see any light at the end of the tunnel.
So Sad.
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1ofbillions
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Mon, May 20 2019, 3:20 pm
I’m really sorry - this sounds like such a painful, stressful situation to be in.
Depending on where you live, there are frum organizations that help with job placement. Have you tried reaching out to them?
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amother
Tangerine
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Mon, May 20 2019, 3:34 pm
I feel you. My husband is chronically unemployed. He’s been unemployed for almost 2 years. He’s been unemployed more than he’s been employed. I work BH but it’s scary not to know if he’ll ever work again or if he does if he’ll keep it. It’s so hard because I can’t talk to anyone about it (other than my therapist) because he’s so private, and of course talking to him about it is hard too because I know he feels bad as it is it’s hard to discuss it without him feeling worse.
May we both experience yeshuas very soon
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amother
Magenta
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Mon, May 20 2019, 3:44 pm
It's such a yucky feeling.
I'm in the same boat.
In Israel. The electric company sent us a text they are shutting off our electricity tomorrow 😡. We paid some of the bill but I don't know if that will help... No family or support with this. It's so overwhelming
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crust
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Mon, May 20 2019, 6:54 pm
This is a very stressful situation indeed.
I feel so sorry you are going through this.
I advise you to discuss your situation with a business savvy person that is over 40 years old.
Rabbi Miller said that מאשפות ירים אביון does not necassarily mean it happens in an instant.
It takes time to get out of the dumps and become self sufficient.
I'm not minimizing the agony of the wait but with the right amount of hiahtadlos you can rest assured that things will get better iyh.
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amother
Natural
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Mon, May 20 2019, 7:05 pm
I'm crying for all of you. I can't believe how many people are in the same boat as us.
It really hurts.
My DH was out of a job for 2 years, and doing alot of Hishtadlus to find a new decent position, and he is a very capable person, wants to work and is a loyal employee.
It has nothing to do with being capable and doing our Hishtadlus. It's a Nisoyon given by Hashem.
Let's Daven for each other and may we all be blessed with good parnassa Bkorov.
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amother
OP
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Mon, May 20 2019, 9:42 pm
Op here
But it's sub a hard nisayon. It's been so many years this way. On and off with jobs. Almost 9 years. I am not strong enough.
Yes we have reached out to those but tachlis, it didn't find him a job.
Sorry to all others who go also through this.
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amother
Natural
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Mon, May 20 2019, 11:31 pm
I think that one of the most difficult challenge of this Nisoyon is the embarrassment of having people find out our situation (and they don't help us out financially anyways), and not being able to buy basic nessesities. I feel your pain. I'm in it together with you.
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crust
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Tue, May 21 2019, 12:32 am
amother [ Natural ] wrote: | I think that one of the most difficult challenge of this Nisoyon is the embarrassment of having people find out our situation (and they don't help us out financially anyways), and not being able to buy basic nessesities. I feel your pain. I'm in it together with you. |
I understand the booshas and the inferior feeling but as an outsider to your situation, the way I see it is that, if you didn't cause this situation then there is nothing to feel embarrased about!
On the contrary, if you dont have for basic necessities and they have the means but they are not giving you anything then they should be the ones to be embarrassed!
Please don't absorb the vibes of other people. It will only crush you further.
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amother
Ginger
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Tue, May 21 2019, 4:14 am
I'm so sorry OP
I've also been in a very tight financial situation before and it is so difficult!
My FIL had a stable job for many years but since he reached his 50s, he kept getting fired every few years. He is now in his 60s and has loads of health issues and after 2 years of being out of work, he has given up on job searching. My MIL is a strong woman. She quit her part time job and told him that if he cannot work - then HE will be taking care of the grandkids and errands (things she was previously doing). She is now working a full time job that pays more than her previous part time job.
They are not rolling in money by any means and still have financial stress but they are living paycheck to paycheck and are able to finish the month.
Is this an option for you as well?
In any case, wishing you parnassah tova and a lot of simcha. Hope it all gets easier soon...
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amother
Ginger
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Tue, May 21 2019, 4:19 am
amother [ Magenta ] wrote: | It's such a yucky feeling.
I'm in the same boat.
In Israel. The electric company sent us a text they are shutting off our electricity tomorrow 😡. We paid some of the bill but I don't know if that will help... No family or support with this. It's so overwhelming |
How much do you owe? (or at least how much do you need to pay in order to keep the electricity on?) Maybe there is a way we can help?
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amother
Fuchsia
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Tue, May 21 2019, 6:46 am
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote: | I feel you. My husband is chronically unemployed. He’s been unemployed for almost 2 years. He’s been unemployed more than he’s been employed. I work BH but it’s scary not to know if he’ll ever work again or if he does if he’ll keep it. It’s so hard because I can’t talk to anyone about it (other than my therapist) because he’s so private, and of course talking to him about it is hard too because I know he feels bad as it is it’s hard to discuss it without him feeling worse.
May we both experience yeshuas very soon |
Maybe you can talk to an understanding friend about this. It may be more than oblivious to outsiders, and you are denying yourself support.
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, May 21 2019, 7:24 am
amother [ Ginger ] wrote: | How much do you owe? (or at least how much do you need to pay in order to keep the electricity on?) Maybe there is a way we can help? |
Ty. We just paid with cc. We owed $700+!
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amother
Tangerine
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Tue, May 21 2019, 8:06 am
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote: | Maybe you can talk to an understanding friend about this. It may be more than oblivious to outsiders, and you are denying yourself support. |
My husband asked me not to. He is very private. He knows how hard it is for me but still wants to maintain some dignity. There have been times where I’ve been tempted to tell a best, discreet friend however I put my Sholom Bayis first
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imorethanamother
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Tue, May 21 2019, 2:46 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Op here
But it's sub a hard nisayon. It's been so many years this way. On and off with jobs. Almost 9 years. I am not strong enough.
Yes we have reached out to those but tachlis, it didn't find him a job.
Sorry to all others who go also through this. |
Do you want to PM me with his job skills and general location? I have some contacts.
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Monsey 10952
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Tue, May 28 2019, 3:18 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I just need to vent.
I am super duper frustrated, upset and depressed about our situation.
My husband has been out of a normal job for a long time.
He has done some odds and end jobs here and there and made very little $.
Right now he has no job.
So the last 2 month there is no money coming in from him.
I do work also, but it barely covers anything.
It is so so hard.
Even when he worked, it wasn't enough to pay tuition and rent. We are not spenders.
We only buy the minimum, food and basic necessities.
Yes I know there are here and there organisations that give some food and other stuff, but Its not enough to live on.
How much longer am I gonna be able to survive/deal with this.
I dont see any light at the end of the tunnel.
So Sad. |
can he claim unemployment insurance?
https://labor.ny.gov/ui/claima......shtm
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amother
Seagreen
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Tue, May 28 2019, 5:50 pm
amother [ Natural ] wrote: | I think that one of the most difficult challenge of this Nisoyon is the embarrassment of having people find out our situation (and they don't help us out financially anyways), and not being able to buy basic nessesities. I feel your pain. I'm in it together with you. |
I think that even harder than this is embarrassing yourself to ask people and reaching out and then the people say no!!!
That hurts so badly. Ouch. Op unfortunately I really relate to your pain and I wish you lots of strength to get through this challenge.
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Ravenclaw
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Tue, May 28 2019, 6:12 pm
Look at how many men are struggling to find employment.
And yet everyone keeps yelling that we don’t have any issues finding jobs and a lack of basic math and English skills isn’t hurting anyone.
Um, yeah.
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