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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
OP
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 12:15 am
I was shopping with my kids the other day. We were walking on a street full of stores, and outside some stores were some empty strollers (nothing unusual as they can't always fit inside). As we were passing we heard crying and saw that one of the strollers had a baby about idk maybe a year old. My two year old went over and stuck the baby's pacifier into his mouth to help calm him down and then offered him some of his snack (which then told him he couldn't do). I was so angry that someone could do that.I had SUCH a strong desire to take the stroller and just move it a little further or into the driveway just to scare the mother alittle. But couldn't decide if that would be ok to do. What do you guys think?
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Einikel
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 12:19 am
I understand your feelings but you did the right thing not moving the carriage.
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WhatFor
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 12:20 am
No, don't move someone else's baby. You risk getting yourself in trouble. I'd sooner call 911 and report that I found a baby isolated by themselves outside then I would move the baby.
Or go inside and loudly ask who abandoned their precious helpless baby outside and tell them that they risk ACS removing their children from their home by doing that. I doubt it'll help though.
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Rubber Ducky
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 12:27 am
I think you could get yourself into trouble by moving the stroller. Good thing you didn't. Next time you could leave a note or wait till the Mommy returned — but the kind of Mommy who would leave her baby unattended is unlikely to accept any kind of tochacha.
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Surrendered
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 1:55 am
The store might have a policy of No strollers in store.
The baby was probably sleeping peacefully while the mother ran in for a minute to return an item. Or she shopped, but kept coming out every few minutes to check on the baby.
Do not move someone else's baby.
You can go in and speak to the mother, how dangerous it is to leave baby unattended.
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amother
Cobalt
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 1:57 am
No Way!!! That is called Rishus!!!
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amother
Silver
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 2:01 am
Surrendered wrote: | The store might have a policy of No strollers in store.
The baby was probably sleeping peacefully while the mother ran in for a minute to return an item. |
If a store doesn't allow strollers, you don't go there with a stroller. Put the baby in a Snuggli or some other kind of carrier.
Rule of thumb: If you wouldn't leave your purse someplace, then don't leave your baby there.
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Teomima
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 3:33 am
That was obviously not cool of the mom. That said, there are some countries where leaving a baby outside is the norm. Assuming, though, OP, that you're not in, say, Denmark, then I would definitely intervene, but certainly not by moving the stroller. Instead I'd go into the store and loudly announce the abandoned baby outside. If you really want to scare the mom and teach her a lesson, also say you're calling the police.
Surrendered, a sleeping baby and no stroller policy is no excuse. Even asking a stranger to keep an eye on your baby while you run in for a minute is better than just leaving a baby alone outside.
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amother
Babyblue
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 3:38 am
That would have been a waste.
I would have taken that cutie home for myself.
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amother
Cobalt
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 4:39 am
I was in Brooklyn to get glasses for my very special needs child, and took along my baby. I ended up running some yom tov errands as well.
She is wild and keeps running off, she runs out of the door or into stores 'in an instant'. As much as I try to keep an eye, she's quicker than me.
While running constantly to search for my child, I did ask people to keep an eye at my baby.
So imagine what people think of me, leaving my baby to grab my special needs sweetheart?
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Surrendered
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 4:41 am
Put yourself in the mothers shoe.
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amother
Oak
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 5:14 am
Surrendered wrote: | Put yourself in the mothers shoe. |
Yup. I have been there many times. Left my baby alone bh Bh 0 times.
We hear stories in the news of things that happen to the most careful parents... it behooves ya to atleast try our very hardest.
I just cannot imagine leaving a baby.
What would you do if the store wouldn’t allow bags/ purses? Leave your purse in the street?!
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Raisin
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 5:31 am
amother [ Oak ] wrote: | Yup. I have been there many times. Left my baby alone bh Bh 0 times.
We hear stories in the news of things that happen to the most careful parents... it behooves ya to atleast try our very hardest.
I just cannot imagine leaving a baby.
What would you do if the store wouldn’t allow bags/ purses? Leave your purse in the street?! |
I walked out of a store once that didn't allow strollers. Not too common where I live though.
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imasinger
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 6:16 am
amother [ Silver ] wrote: | If a store doesn't allow strollers, you don't go there with a stroller. Put the baby in a Snuggli or some other kind of carrier.
Rule of thumb: If you wouldn't leave your purse someplace, then don't leave your baby there. |
This is good.
Anyone out there want to make this a project?
I think every store that has a "no strollers inside" policy should have this on their sign. In large letters, "NO STROLLERS INSIDE THE STORE, (and in red letters) NO STROLLERS WITH UNATTENDED BABIES OUTSIDE THE STORE . Then, in smaller letters, the line about your purse.
I think someone should start a chesed drive in areas with stores like this, to supply each store with a couple of carriers for customers to borrow while in the store.
And to ask rabbanim and local media (Jewish papers and magazines) to cover the issue frequently.
Not that there wouldn't still occasionally be problems, but it might start a cultural shift. There have been other areas where things have changed; things where public awareness was raised. Where the hair comes from on a shaitel. Men in black coats wearing a reflective belt at night. Babies left in hot cars. This can be changed, too.
I live OOT, but maybe someone in a community like this would take it on?
amother [Cobalt] wrote: |
I was in Brooklyn to get glasses for my very special needs child, and took along my baby. I ended up running some yom tov errands as well.
She is wild and keeps running off, she runs out of the door or into stores 'in an instant'. As much as I try to keep an eye, she's quicker than me.
While running constantly to search for my child, I did ask people to keep an eye at my baby.
So imagine what people think of me, leaving my baby to grab my special needs sweetheart? |
If you had it to do over again, do you think either a carrier, a few less errands with an impulsive SN DD, or both might have been a safer choice?
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watergirl
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 6:31 am
Raisin wrote: | I walked out of a store once that didn't allow strollers. Not too common where I live though. |
Same. I was once visiting Boro Park and went into a shoe store with a friend and my baby in a stroller. I was told by the employee no strollers allowed inside. So I left the store.
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zaq
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 6:44 am
No it would not have been ok. You could have gotten into major trouble. The thing to have done would have been to go into the store and announce “You with the black City Mini, your baby’s crying outside. I suggest you come get her before someone calls the police.”
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amother
Gray
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:25 am
If someone leaves their baby outside....they deserve to have ACS called. Because they really do need parenting classes as well as a major wake up call. No way to judge this favorably.
But op. What you suggest could get you in major trouble. Not worth it though I understand your temptation.
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amother
Black
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 8:28 am
I saw young kids in a car one day outside the grocery. The windows were open, but it was summer and no adult was around.
I waited for the mom to finish her shopping. I informed her that I could have called the cops and will do that if I ever see it again. (I did ask the store to page her, they refused because the windows were open)
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amother
Amethyst
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 8:35 am
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FranticFrummie
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Thu, Sep 19 2019, 8:38 am
I just don't understand this. Ask any mother if she would let her 3 or 4 year old child walk to preschool by himself, and of course the mother would look at you like you were crazy. What if he gets kidnapped?
Then they leave the sleeping baby on the sidewalk, like it's no big deal. A 3 year old could scream and kick and try to run away from a kidnapper, but a baby can't even say the word "HELP!"
No logic whatsoever.
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