1st x pg looking for advice....

amother

Tue, Nov 27 2007, 3:53 am

Oh wow I have a similar problem. I am in school full time in Israel and due the end of spring semester- so no problem all summer bc I am off anyhow. But come YT time and I need a full time sitter... I am in Israel and finance is an issue for me. I want to nurse so I am very stressed about how to handle this... I wish I could have someone just come to school with me and have a place for her to hang out during classes and then I can feed/see/play with my baby during the breaks!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

catonmylap

Tue, Nov 27 2007, 5:51 am

amother wrote:

If you are in Israel with low finances, you can't even consider someone privately in your house (its 35 shek/hour minimum). You can find someone else who wants to split it with you maybe. (When I looked into that the other moms were willing to spend so much more than I was that I dropped the idea). In someone else's home or a community day care, you can go as low as 10 shekels. It depends on your neighborhood. In mine, with someone in their home, it's like 17 shekels, and a larger daycare might be less because it could be subsidized. I heard of women who pay only 10 shekels an hour in Haredi neighborhoods.

Look and advertise on Janglo and look for signs around your neighborhood.

Baltimore amother---would you consider/can you afford a live-in sitter? If so, you can advertise for a girl from Israel?

You could also advertise locally in the advertiser. You can set up a new email address for it if you don't want anyone to find out who you are yet.

My shul here has those sorts of ads in the email bulletin. You could check if any of the shuls in Baltimore do. And you can see if there are any relevant Yahoo groups. There's also the OU job board.

amother

Tue, Nov 27 2007, 7:21 am

catonmylap wrote:

Baltimore amother---would you consider/can you afford a live-in sitter? If so, you can advertise for a girl from Israel?

I would LOVE to do this, a live in is way more convenient and dependable, but my husband doesnt want to unless we absolutely cant find s/o else, for like yichud reasons and stuff. Its one thing if its during the day and were both gone...but like at night, what if I have to go out or something. Then its just weird. If it comes to it, I guess we'll just do this, but more as a last resort.

catonmylap wrote:

My shul here has those sorts of ads in the email bulletin. You could check if any of the shuls in Baltimore do. And you can see if there are any relevant Yahoo groups.

I sent my husband some flyers to hang up in shul this morning after all the advice I received yesterday Smile

catonmylap wrote:

There's also the OU job board.

Is this on the OU website? is this like luach but thru the OU? Im gonna go try to google this now...thanks Smile

mummiedearest

Tue, Nov 27 2007, 11:44 am

Quote:

WOW thanks for the advice! But HOW many months into pregnancy do you think I should start looking? I dont want to post anything abt how far along I am (not something we talk abt in my fam EVER), but just curious - should I start looking 1 mo b4 or 6??? you know what I mean?

sorry, amother, didn't see your post before. since you don't know how easy it will be for you to find someone, I would start now. if you advertise, in the ad say you are looking for someone starting in whatever month you plan to need them. (I don't know how much time you want for maternity leave, what with school and all.) another bit of advice: have her start before you go back to school so you can show her the ropes and observe her with the baby for at least a day or two. it'll make you feel better about leaving the baby with the sitter if you know how well she can care for the baby.

workingallthetime

Wed, Nov 28 2007, 12:15 am

I probably wouldnt look for a specific person until about 2-3 months before you are due (thats probably a bit long too), but would get the process started by finding where you are most likely to get good leads, and also talk to other people, and network, so you can find someone that may know of someone that will no longer need their in home babysitter in a few months.

just to make you feel better. since $ is not an issue, I see signifigant benefits in having an in-home sitter rather than a daycare. your kid will get one on one attention in YOUR home, and the person can help with other baby things like washing bottles, baby laundry etc. which would be a big headache if you have to do all of that after a long day and picking up baby, etc. also, you dont have to wake a baby up in the am.... it will hopefully free you up to enjoy the time you have to spend with your baby rather than being stressed out.

you have a long road ahead of you, but it is so worth it to be doing something that I assume you will enjoy, and to be able to help people.....also, once you get through school, residency, etc. you can hopefully make a schedule that works for you/your family - much hatzlacha!!!

amother

Wed, Nov 28 2007, 7:34 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Baltimore amother, You can also pay a drop if you want to post in The Advertiser.

Im not sure what "the advertiser" is but im assuming its something like esra, torah times, or country yossi for baltimore. ill find out abt this, thanks Smile

workingallthetime wrote:

I see signifigant benefits in having an in-home sitter rather than a daycare. your kid will get one on one attention in YOUR home... it will hopefully free you up to enjoy the time you have to spend with your baby rather than being stressed out.

Thanks for your words of encouragement!! Thats kindof what I feel too! I dont want to be running around all day and just thinking OMG what happens if there are 10 little babies 6 of whom need to be changed, mine is crying and no one even pays attn etc?? And one of the many reasons, I wouldnt want a private babysitter who does it at HER home not mine, is not having to wake up a poor sleeping baby at 630 am, take him/her for a drive, then WALK OUTSIDE in the freezing cold (even for 20 ft) to s/o elses house!!! Thats just unfair. And having s/o to clean the bottles and fold laundry etc is an extra perk I was secretly looking forward to Wink

workingallthetime wrote:

...but it is so worth it to be doing something that I assume you will enjoy, and to be able to help people.....also, once you get through school, residency, etc. you can hopefully make a schedule that works for you/your family - much hatzlacha!!!

Thanks for your words of encouragement Smile

That is kind of my hope! Alot of my friends think its strange/crazy/bad parenting that I'm pursuing this road, but honestly, there is absolutley nothing else career-wise I would enjoy doing (I considered PA before starting med school), I would NOT make a good SAHM, id just be depressed and go out of my mind being home all day and not using my mind, and as hard as school is, at the end of the day, its safe and secure income, Ill NEVER not be able to find a job, I can make my own decisions, and I can pick and choose when I want to work, take call, etc, which are "bonueses" that as a mid-level practitioner, I wouldnt necessarily be afforded. I think its a great profession for a frum woman, believe it or not, regardless of what people say. AND, being "pre-med" while dating, despite peoples "doubts," and LOTS of guys saying "no...too smart/modern/assertive/career-oriented, etc, I DID find the "learner/earner" type I was looking for, and DID NOT have to compromise in ANY area, B'h.

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Nov 28 2007, 10:19 am

amother wrote:

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Baltimore amother, You can also pay a drop if you want to post in The Advertiser.

Im not sure what "the advertiser" is but im assuming its something like esra, torah times, or country yossi for baltimore. ill find out abt this, thanks Smile

You don't know what The Advertiser is? Poor you! It's a collection of ads and messages to the Baltimore (and Silver Spring) community about upcoming events, services, etc. and a place to post things for sale, lost and found, advice like luach.com
You can get it for free -- it comes out about every 2 weeks, and you can pick a copy up in Seven Mile Market or you can call to have it mailed to you Smile

amother

Wed, Nov 28 2007, 10:53 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

LOL...never really noticed it. But then again, I rarely go to Seven Mile Market (they dont deliver). I do all my grocery shopping on safeway.com or peapod.com, meat from wasserman and lemberger (they deliver too!!), and anything extra ("jewish" stuff not sold online,) my mom or mil ship me. Saves me x for studying that way Smile

But ill go by one day this wk and pick one up, ill definitely advertise in there. thanks for the idea.

Starhavah

Thu, Nov 29 2007, 9:28 pm

amother wrote:

In Israel, a nanny is much more affordable than one is in the states. I got one, I can't remember how, but I would post a notice in the unemployment office.

I doubt you are going to want your 3 month old baby playing on the floor of your University with people walking over him/her. It is better to have your babysitter in a space that is set up for babies (your home or theirs) than in a college hallway. I would pump milk and freeze it. Then your nanny can give it by bottle at home and when you get home at night and on the weekend you can nurse.

Start pumping as soon as the baby is born for two reasons. If you pump and nurse you will produce more milk so when you return to school you will have a large supply being produced daily and two you can start storing it so that if your milk production drops a bit when you are pumping more than nursing you will still be producing plenty.

Just my opionion, (as they say free advice is worth what you pay for it),

Havah

HealthCoach

Thu, Nov 29 2007, 10:11 pm

I have had an in home sitter for 10+ years. My advice is very down to earth, but not necessarily what you want to hear. You can't look for an in house sitter so much in advance. Someone looking for a job, needs a job now, not in 6 months, so how could they possibly wait for you to have a baby unless of course you start paying them now. It's not easy to find a good babysitter, and that is one of the biggest sources of frustration to the working mom. Don't kid yourself. I'm very happy with my decision to work, but finding a babysitter, and finding a new one on short notice can be very worrisome. Don't get me wrong. I have had very good babysitters over the years, but finding one takes work. From years of experience I can tell you that it does not pay to worry about it in advance. It's counterproductive. When it is time for you to find a babysitter, you will find one with Hashem's help. In Brooklyn it usually takes ~2 weeks. If you want to go back to school and the haven't found the one yet, you can always send out temporarily until you find someone. That is something that you can research now if you are so inclined.

amother

Mon, Dec 03 2007, 12:49 pm

Little Engine wrote:

OP here, and I just want you to know that your advice WAS very apprecaited and was not necessarily what I "DONT" want to hear. Trust me, I have enough work to do that I dont want to be worrying abt finding a babysitter so many mos in advance. And what you said abt s/o looking for a babysitting job being the type of person who needs the work "NOW" not in x months, is 100% true. I guess I was just curious as to what is "normally" done, because it is not something that I would feel comfortable speaking to friends/acquaintances about until much, much later on, and honestly, I have no clue what is done around here, seems just from looking around, most people DONT use in-house babysitters as is done back in Bklyn, they either stay at home, or send their babies to baby playgroups if they absolutely have to work. My mother and mil have no advice for me because both have no clue abt Baltimore either. If I were living in Bklyn I wouldnt be "worrying," because getting a full time frum babysitter, for so many women, is just a normal part of life. But in Baltimore, I guess I just wanted to get a feel for how hard or easy my life will be a few months from now. Ironically, your words have made me LESS worried...I am just hoping that even though im over a hundred miles from home we will still be able to find someone here Smile