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Forum
-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Moving/ Relocating
amother
Royalblue
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Wed, Dec 04 2019, 7:29 pm
I give you credit for making a move. Moves are tough, new beginning are tough. Odds are you’ll feel happier a little further down the road. Once you get settled in and make new friends, things will get better.
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amother
Chocolate
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Wed, Dec 04 2019, 8:32 pm
I understand u especially since I moved within the same town And I’m so not happy. I really don’t have welcoming neighbors at all verses my other area the neighbors were amazing so Shabbos I’m lonely and when it’s nice out coffee is my company.
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justforfun87
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Wed, Dec 04 2019, 9:36 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I don't really want to say which Community I am now in. I know there are plenty of imamothers here from there. Basically I am a nothing here. Used to be a known member of the community where I knew everybody and everybody knew me. The work position I held was something I was proud of, a little prestigious. In my new city, I am an unknown face and a boring one at that. I didn't realize how my position would not transfer well and the only jobs I can get here or entry level secretary jobs. We are really short on cash right now because of this and I feel terrible about it. I lost my social standing, all my friends, my parnassa, and all my self esteem. I was pro the move, its a great community on paper. But I am so miserable.
I cant go back because I bought a house here. Otherwise I would. |
I live in this city as well. I'm always down to meet new people!
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amother
Magenta
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Wed, Dec 04 2019, 9:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thank you for all the criticism. I sure appreciate it. It made me feel all better |
I just re-read my post and it was quite mean and I'm sorry. What I really meant was I feel like sometimes we rely too much on popularity and how other's view us for our self-worth...but it came out really nasty and personal and not helpful when you're already feeling down. Moving is always hard and it can take quite some time to adjust...I hope you feel better about your new place really soon. As for me, I need to refrain from posting on forums when I'm hungry and tired. Sorry again!!
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amother
Coral
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Wed, Dec 04 2019, 9:44 pm
For op and all the others who are in the same situation, I say hi! I am one of you. They say “the troubles of others is half of the consolation”
Thinking I’m the only one made me feel extremely lonely and isolated. Even though I do t know who you are , just the knowledge that others are going through the same thing, takes away some of the misery. Maybe we should stArt a support group for women like us.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Dec 04 2019, 9:48 pm
amother [ Magenta ] wrote: | I just re-read my post and it was quite mean and I'm sorry. What I really meant was I feel like sometimes we rely too much on popularity and how other's view us for our self-worth...but it came out really nasty and personal and not helpful when you're already feeling down. Moving is always hard and it can take quite some time to adjust...I hope you feel better about your new place really soon. As for me, I need to refrain from posting on forums when I'm hungry and tired. Sorry again!! |
Thank you
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amother
Blush
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Thu, Dec 05 2019, 1:50 am
Unfortunately I live in ny place for 10 years. no friends, I tried socializing in so many ways , like gym, neighbor partys, pool ect. I could never make friends and I think I do give out a great impression, bubbly, social, I dont feel attractive by anyone. Its very sad . Sometimes I just wish for a nice phone call, or wish someone would take me out for coffee or any type of outing.
its
Never happening!! All I can say is:
MY HUSBAND IS MY BEST FRIEND AND MY EVERYTHING!!!
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amother
Slateblue
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Thu, Dec 05 2019, 6:39 am
I moved months ago and I also moved not knowing anyone. We are all happy here, but I never expected the insecurity and lack of confidence I have been feeling. I sooooo badly want to make friends but I have my walls up since making friends was hard where I came from. I don't know if people come talk because they like me for me or they are trying to be nice.
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DVOM
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Thu, Dec 05 2019, 7:28 am
I'm so sorry OP, that's really hard!
When we got married and moved to Lakewood I was miserable. I knew no one, and the culture here is so different from what I grew up with. I felt like I'd gone from being a girl who was regarded as a very good person to being a borderline bum, if I was noticed at all. I really identify with your description of how you feel in your new neighborhood. There is nothing shallow about needing to feel valued, noticed, seen. It's a normal, human need.
Our rav said to give it five years. This was such good advice for me. It gave me a longer view, a more patient and long term outlook. I didn't have to adjust NOW, make friends right away... I could accept and anticipate a long, slow adjustment.
When the five years were up I was happily and firmly entrenched in my new community. That's not to say that I love everything about Lakewood. But I'd made a home for myself here that I valued.
I hope your adjustment improves!
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amother
Ivory
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Thu, Dec 05 2019, 8:04 am
Dear Op
Secret: many many people are miserable when they move, but they will not admit it.
Also, look carefully around you. Is their a long time widow, a divorcee, a woman strugglng with a difficult husband. And elderly woman. A childless woman. Seek them out. they are usually lonely. They can be the very best of friends; depth, insight, humbleness..
Many people who have good husbands, friends at work, enough siblings close by, good parents simply have no time/interest in more people......
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