I'm going crazy with bedtime...please help

amother

Fri, Dec 14 2007, 2:01 am

my 3 year old daughter refuses to go to sleep at night. I can stay with her in her room, but the second I leave she follows me saying she wants to stay up with me. she is not clingy thruought the day...JUST at bedtime she wants to go to bed when I go to bed etc etc. what should I do? we've tried sticker charts, treats, yelling, potching, talking, reading books before bedtime, telling stories, lying in bed with her etc. no matter what she doesn't go in until she decides she's ready. this could be after 10 at night!!! I'm going crazy. I need my nights to take care of things and also need her to get her rest so she is not a tired wreck the next day. this has been going on for over a week now and I would love to hear ideas of what worked for your kids!!!!

drumjj

Fri, Dec 14 2007, 2:24 am

a good way to do it is to keep putting her back into her bed everytime she gets out and follows u and it takes a few days but eventually they get the point that they are not allowed to come out and its bedtime. I had to do that with mine when I finally put her in a bed was horrible.

amother

Fri, Dec 14 2007, 2:26 am

Having a bedtime routine - same every night- is important. Wont help the 1st night or 2, but it will after a while. Make it clear that 1st we'll do x, then y, then z, and after z is bedtime. You can keep asking her "after z, what will we do?" Its not up for discussion.You are the authority You can also put a child gate on her room.

su7kids

Fri, Dec 14 2007, 2:37 am

I learned a brilliant idea that works well with that age.

Tell her, she doesn't have to go to sleep, but she must stay in her bed.

Let her stay in bed with the light on, and she can take 5 things to bed with her. Anything she wants.

Each time she gets out of bed, or calls you, one of those things gets taken away.

Aftr all five are gone, the light goes out.

But if she stays in her bed quietly, she gets to keep her things, and if she falls asleep, you put the light off when she's asleep.

This way, she'll have fun in bed, and won't be forced to go to sleep.

Of course, each night, she will go to sleep quicker and quicker, until she goes into bed and right to sleep, but 5 things.

Try it, it really works well.

happymom

Fri, Dec 14 2007, 11:52 am

if its only for a week I wonder why this started... maybe its all the negative attention from the patching and yelling, but its good u dont do that anymore, id try alot of poisitive reinforcment. if and when she stays in her bed make a big deal and tell her teachers about it.

sometimes kids that age get scared of things.. the dark, the window, who knows. they have these special lamps with different colors. maybe u can go to the store with her, and ask her if she thinks having a special lamp she can look at (the lava lamps are fun and relazing to look at, and not too bright so its like a night light) if it would help her stay in her bed.

My daugther is almost three and the nightlight REALLy helps! also, we baught her her wn cd player and when she goes to sleep we put on a story tape or relaxing (slow songs) song tape for her. most nights shes asleep way before its over, just from listening.....

on nights when shes having a hard time wanting to stay in bed I let her fall asleep in my bed (which she gets very excited about so she doesnt come out cuz she knows if she does shes gonna have to go back to her own bed) and then I move her when shes asleep...

goodluck I hope some of these can work for ure daughter too Wink

happymom

Fri, Dec 14 2007, 11:53 am

Quote:

Each time she gets out of bed, or calls you, one of those things gets taken away

it might work but I find positive is much better then doing something negative. instead of punishments, make a huge deal about when she dtays in bed and shell WANT TO

su7kids

Fri, Dec 14 2007, 1:54 pm

happymom wrote:

Quote:

Each time she gets out of bed, or calls you, one of those things gets taken away

it might work but I find positive is much better then doing something negative. instead of punishments, make a huge deal about when she dtays in bed and shell WANT TO

Its not a PUNISHMENT, its a CONSEQUENCE. It only becomes a punishment if you make it negative.

Pickle Lady

Sat, Dec 15 2007, 5:55 pm

su7kids wrote:

This method works best for my kids also!! I don't do the five thing but I do tell my kids that they can have a few toys with them in thier beds and if I have to come in a few times then I warn them and the light goes off with no toys. This works best with those restless nights. I will try the 5 toy idea. Thanks.

amother

Sun, Dec 16 2007, 10:13 pm

she does not nap so she should be tired...and after a little bit of the struggle you can tell she is getting really tired but she is so stubborn that she keeps at it until she really wants to sleep.

its been getting better lately. I've tried giving books and stuff/leaving light on etc etc...but she always wants to follow me out when I leave. maybe I'll try it wiht the 5 toy thing and the sleeping in my bed. those may work. for now things are settling down so maybe we're getting there...! thanks!

happymom

Sun, Dec 16 2007, 10:46 pm

I always lie with my daugther and talk to her in bed usually for twenty minutes. if she wants to follow me out I ask her if she wants me to stay for five more minutes and I do. sometimes they want u clost to them at the end of a lonmg day and personally I dont mind. its good bonding time Wink