They Won't Listen!

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They Won't Listen!

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amother

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 9:46 pm

I'm freaking out! My parents, both early 60s with a slew of underlying conditions between them, are planning on traveling to NY (we live OOT) for my niece's Bas Mitzvah two weeks before Pesach. I'm really really nervous about this given the current situation, and have been begging them not to go. Not only that, but my 90 year old grandfather lives with them, and to expose him cv"s would be a HUGE risk.
My mother can't fathom the idea of not being there and won't be talked out of it. I don't know what to do. I'm seriously panicking.
They keep saying, "nothing happens without Hashem". That's true, however, just because Hashem decided that today you shouldn't get hit by a car doesn't mean you should throw yourself into highway traffic.
What should I do?

small bean

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 9:53 pm

You should wait and see what 2 weeks brings. Things can change. Why panic now?

#BestBubby

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 9:54 pm

The Torah commands us to Guard our Health. Ask parents to discuss this with their doctor
and also the issue of 90 y.o. grandfather.

Also, maybe ask parents to ask their Rov a Shaylah if they are allowed to go. Rov will probably say ask your doctor.

amother

Emerald

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 9:56 pm

I just hung up the phone with my 70 year old parents.

My mother is on chemo. She is hosting a huge Purim Sueda in her 4 room apartment for all her children and grandchildren totalling at least 100 people.

I'm not exaggerating.

This sueda is chaotic and overwhelming every year but they wont give it up. Fine. I'm not trying to make them give up something they want. I'm not joining but if that's what they want it's fine with me.

But this year I'm begging them to please make the layout of the dining room in such a way so my mother is not within the 2 inches of every single child.

I begged her and my father that she should at least make sure to sit a few feet away from everyone.

She says her doctor didnt tell her she is at risk.
My father says meh its inflated. I told him totty the hospital is the last place you want mommy to be in! Why take a chance?

He says we will see.

I'm literally plotzing.

amother

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 9:56 pm

small bean wrote:

You should wait and see what 2 weeks brings. Things can change. Why panic now?

Of course, Hashem is in charge, but at the rate things are going now, I doubt it will be any better. Also, they need to book their flights.

amother

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 9:58 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

I just hung up the phone with my 70 year old parents.

My mother is on chemo. She is hosting a huge Purim Sueda in her 4 room apartment for all her children and grandchildren totalling at least 100 people.

I'm not exaggerating.

This sueda is chaotic and overwhelming every year but they wont give it up. Fine. I'm not trying to make them give up something they want. I'm not joining but if that's what they want it's fine with me.

But this year I'm begging to them please make the layout of the dining room in such a way so my mother is not writhin the 2 inches of every single child.

I begged her and my father that she should at least make sure to sit at least a few feet away from everyone.

She says her doctor didnt tell her she is at risk.
My father says meh its inflated. I told him totty the hospital is the past place you want mommy to be in!
He says we will see.

I'm literally plotzing.

OMG. I can't imagine what that must be like.

amother

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 9:59 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

I don't know why they would do that if they don't see it as a problem in the first place. But I'll try.

amother

Emerald

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 10:00 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

OMG. I can't imagine what that must be like.

It looks like the older generation is not going to budge. Hashem should be merachem.

What's there to do?

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 10:08 pm

My parents are also in their 70s and traveling this week to NY for a family simcha. Both of them have health issues.
I asked them if they are still going. They said yes. What shocks me the most is that not a SINGLE one of my other siblings said even a word to them voicing a concern that maybe now is not the right time for them to be going to ny. If my siblings would say st they eould listen. (They listen to specific siblings but not me)My siblinds could not care less about my parents health all they care about is their own selves. They want to be able to go to this simcha this week and since they all made plans for this week already around it they don't want to be inconvenienced. It really wouldn't be hard to push off the event (it's not a wedding- it would be stressful yes to push off but not the end of the world) but not one of my siblings even brought it up to my parents that maybe they shouldn't go.
I am supposed to go to my parents for pesach. Everyone- literally everyone -is asking me what I'm planning to do since I for SURE will not want to bring the virus with me to my aging parents right ?
I couldn't tell them that they are coming to NY this week anyway. I'm embarrassed to say that they don't even care about their own health and not one of my siblings even voiced a concern.

amother

Emerald

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 10:12 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

What a double standard!
Im so sorry for you and everyone on this thread that is going through a similar thing.

Ps I also think my parents would listen to other siblings but these siblings enjoy the Sueda at my mom's so...

Banging head

elisheva25

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 10:14 pm

http://www.israelnationalnews......25338

amother

Pewter

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 10:25 pm

My husband and I are back th in our 60s. We live in a retirement community. Some people are taking extra precaution and not going to hear megilla in the Shul. The Rabbi said that anyone with risk factors ( health issues) should stay home and hear Megilla online. He also said that people whi have a cold shouldnt go to Shul on Shabbat in order not to infect others. MOST people ( many have health issues) are going to Shul and many are flying up north in crowded planes. The minority are taking precautions.

amother

Taupe

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 10:40 pm

I think yiur parents should absolutely go. Living is about living. Not shuttering yourself in fear. I live in NY and am proud to be going on about my normal activities. I think anything else is hysteria and paranoia

amother

Emerald

Sun, Mar 08 2020, 10:56 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

Thank God you are not imunocompromised.
Thank God you feel confident.

Enjoy the freedom.

For some of us it's scary to watch our parents being reckless.

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