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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
malki2
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 1:36 pm
crust wrote: | I grew up like you OP and I remember in camp seeing other girls shower and feeling like what? That's against halacha!
Then I got married and I heard that a woman is allowed to do whatever it takes
כדי שלא יתגנה.
I was also told that whatever you do you should do so b'tzina. |
I definitely recommend showering b’tzina. All the time. Not just during the Nine Days.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 2:42 pm
crust wrote: | I don't know if I quoted the pasuk correctly but it means that a woman is allowed to do what it takes so her husband doesn't get turned off by her (smell).
Yes you understood the tzina part... |
Oh ok lol thanks
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pause
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 2:53 pm
We wash body parts while not immersed in or under water. For the kids we do it less often than in a usual week. For myself, as often as needed.
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observer
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 2:59 pm
I take showers as needed for cleanliness purposes, and I make the water as cold as I can tolerate. Also limb by limb, not whole body in water at once.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 3:23 pm
It’s interesting to see how many responses I’ve seen about limb to limb washing. Is there really a source for that for 9 days showering or are people using that from the YT showering heter?
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malki2
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 3:57 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | It’s interesting to see how many responses I’ve seen about limb to limb washing. Is there really a source for that for 9 days showering or are people using that from the YT showering heter? |
As far as I understand, you are not allowed to bathe for pleasure. Bathing does not only literally mean soaking in a tub. It includes showering. But you are allowed to wash if necessary. This means that you should be in some sort of state of discomfort, but also do not need to wallow in filth for nine days. So everyone needs to be honest with themselves regarding the level of discomfort that they are able to stand, and if they really feel dirty, then to wash off in as little water as possible and at a temperature that is bearable. Keep in mind that it says that those who mourn the Churban will be Zocheh to see the rebuilding (and vice versa). Meaning that we shouldn’t also be disingenuous and say that we “need” that daily shower and just turn the water down a couple of degrees. Most people who are not overly fastidious should be able to manage at least showering every other day. That’s per my understanding.
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amother
Emerald
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 4:10 pm
We do “hoky poky” showers, aka you put your right hand in, you take your right hand out 🎶....
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amother
Violet
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 4:19 pm
crust wrote: | I grew up like you OP and I remember in camp seeing other girls shower and feeling like what? That's against halacha!
Then I got married and I heard that a woman is allowed to do whatever it takes
כדי שלא יתגנה.
I was also told that whatever you do you should do so b'tzina. |
Don’t wives also get turned off when their dhs smell bad?
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malki2
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 4:28 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote: | Don’t wives also get turned off when their dhs smell bad? |
Not all men are effeminate metros@xuals with groomed body hair and tight skinny clothing. There’s such a thing as a “manly man.” Not to say that it’s ok for them to stink. But there’s definitely a difference here between a man and a woman.
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amother
Babyblue
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 4:30 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote: | Don’t wives also get turned off when their dhs smell bad? |
Yes. Like in many traditional societies, there is emphasis on women retaining their allure, and very little to no attention paid to the fact that men should be attractive too.
That's what happens when women are objectified.
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amother
Babyblue
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 4:31 pm
malki2 wrote: | Not all men are effeminate metros@xuals with groomed body hair and tight skinny clothing. There’s such a thing as a “manly man.” Not to say that it’s ok for them to stink. But there’s definitely a difference here between a man and a woman. |
Yes, there's a difference. Men smell much faster.
(And I'm not a fan of the m@trosexual vibe at all. I prefer the manly man. But two or three day stench is stench, not s@xy).
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amother
Black
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 4:40 pm
malki2 wrote: | Not all men are effeminate metros@xuals with groomed body hair and tight skinny clothing. There’s such a thing as a “manly man.” Not to say that it’s ok for them to stink. But there’s definitely a difference here between a man and a woman. |
Hey! There is an in between. My husband is quite manly, but also super clean (honestly even more than me). He showers daily but does not wear tight clothing.
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amother
Babyblue
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 4:43 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote: | Hey! There is an in between. My husband is quite manly, but also super clean (honestly even more than me). He showers daily but does not wear tight clothing. |
I agree. I don't know why manly would mean un-showered.
I can understand finding the smell of fresh sweat on a man s@xy, but it's common for men to also like the smell of fresh sweat on women.
Nobody likes the smell of yesterday's sweat or body odor, be it on a man or a woman.
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amother
Orchid
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 4:44 pm
My husband usually soaks in the bath for a while each night.
During the 9 days he takes quick showers.
My showers are fast and look warm to begin with, so not much different during the 9 days.
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crust
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 4:48 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote: | Don’t wives also get turned off when their dhs smell bad? |
Hey- I'm with you!
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malki2
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 5:04 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote: | Yes, there's a difference. Men smell much faster.
(And I'm not a fan of the m@trosexual vibe at all. I prefer the manly man. But two or three day stench is stench, not s@xy). |
I’m just saying that not all men stink if they miss a shower. (Or at least one man that I know doesn’t stink😉)
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amother
Periwinkle
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 5:07 pm
My DH showers in the 9 days. He does it quicker and used slightly cooler water than usual.
I take showers less often but take as needed. I went to Mikvah so got an extra bath and shower as a bonus.
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MiriFr
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 5:07 pm
My husband usually performs live every night while jamming out to classic rock on full blast. During the nine days, no shower concerts.
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amother
Babyblue
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 5:08 pm
malki2 wrote: | I’m just saying that not all men stink if they miss a shower. (Or at least one man that I know doesn’t stink😉) |
OK, not all women stink if they miss a shower either.
Women don't stink faster than men.
There shouldn't be a difference in the amount of cleaning allowed, since women will get turned off by a stinking husband just like men will get turned off by a smelly wife.
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crust
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Tue, Jul 28 2020, 5:13 pm
I have to add that some threads on imamother spiral downhill real fast.
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