Don't want to go back to work after baby-chizuk please

amother

Fri, Feb 19 2021, 1:53 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

It's not the inevitable, your baby will be that much bigger. Time at home is valuable. You should not suck up these precious few months, your students should. Your timing is absolutely crazy. I sent my first baby to the sitter but I came home at 1 then! Are you even considering how many pumps you would need to do?? (if you're nursing) and to give formula at this age just to go to work, if you're otherwise able to nurse fine, is a pity.

Is there a reason you can't drop the last few students and work only til 3?

im not nursing so pumping isnt an issue. why is it a pity that I give formula... my baby is healthy bh just nursing didnt work for us (touchy subject for me. I really tried to nurse)

I think working till 3 would be a good idea

amother

Fri, Feb 19 2021, 1:54 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

Are you able to zoom 3 cases a day at night? This way you can finish work by 3:30, go home see and feed your baby, take a break...then do 1.5 hrs later on at night. You said you work with elementary age kids who end school at 6 so likely their not so young and stay up till 9:30 at least.... So maybe you can work from 8-9:30 pm and have dh watch the baby then if he's around, and as your baby gets older and gets on a more predictable schedule, you can try to have him asleep by 8.
Also any option to do zoom sundays? If you take one case from each day and do it Sunday, that's just 2 hours of work Sunday (assuming each case is 1/2 hr long and you work Monday-thursday) and you can leave half hour earlier every day. So if the first idea works, plus this one, it means you can leave at 3 everyday. Your still working the same amount of hours total but at least you not going as many hours without nursing or seeing the baby, plus the zoom hours you can try to work out to do around your baby's naptime.

ah helpful thanks! my boys are in school sundays too
sounds really complicated id rather just drop some cases lol

amother

Mistyrose

Fri, Feb 19 2021, 3:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have no idea how im supposed to go back so soon! im leaking breastmilk all over the place how am I going to manage at work lol.
my friends went back to grad school after 2 weeks. its ridiculous

Get nursing pads! Lifesaver

amother

Linen

Fri, Feb 19 2021, 3:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You should let your agency know as soon as possible.

watergirl

Fri, Feb 19 2021, 3:27 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But I see the same 2 boys at the end of the day. I cant cancel our lessons that often
No way to reschedule my other boys, the principals make the schedule for us. Rebbeim dont even let us take boys out alot of the time if theyre working on a project or watching videos etc.

I wonder if the rabbeim know they are stealing your parnassa when they refuse to let a boy go to the session.

amother

Sat, Feb 20 2021, 7:00 pm

watergirl wrote:

I wonder if the rabbeim know they are stealing your parnassa when they refuse to let a boy go to the session.

none of the therapists are salary based we get paid per client :/
I asked my dayan about what to do so many of the therapists will bill for that time but some therapists wont... its very hard

amother

Beige

Sat, Feb 20 2021, 8:00 pm

Mazel Tov! Prioritize you and your baby and not the clients and agency. The newborn stage is a very special time and every extra day, week and month home with your baby is a very special gift. I still regret that I left my oldest at a sitter to return to work 6 weeks postpartum. In hindsight I should have pushed for a longer maternity leave but I was young and inexperienced and didn’t fully appreciate how tiny babies really need their mommy. The first year is so so vital for a babies attachment and the more time you spend together the better it is. Good luck!

amother

Emerald

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 1:11 am

As others said, if you can push out your maternity leave longer, even a few weeks will make a big difference.

Also, can you negotiate for shorter hours for a short term before going back full time? Perhaps you can work out reduced hours for the first few weeks or months and then return fulltime?

amother

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 12:22 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

thx for writing in.
how much longer do people think to push it off? technically if I go back this week/next its only 2 weeks fo school before pesach break

challahchallah

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 12:25 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

thx for writing in.
how much longer do people think to push it off? technically if I go back this week/next its only 2 weeks fo school before pesach break

So why don’t you push off until at least after pesach break? Other than on imamother, I don’t know people who take less than 12 weeks after their babies are born.

amother

Emerald

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 12:51 pm

I went back to work after my babies were 12 weeks old. It’s still early, but that’s when my maternity leave benefits ended & I needed the income to support my family. Going back at 12 weeks wasn’t too bad. By then I was on a better schedule with my babies. Also 12 weeks is a good time to start daycare or a babysitter. Baby is young enough to get acclimated to the babysitter routine and won’t have separation issues if started at an older age. My kids all started daycare at 12 weeks and did fine. Going back to work is always hard the first few days/weeks. I definitely cried. But once I got back to the work schedule I made it work. What did help me was cosleeping with my babies, so I could get lots of snuggles & bonding at nightime.

amother

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 6:20 pm

challahchallah wrote:

So why don’t you push off until at least after pesach break? Other than on imamother, I don’t know people who take less than 12 weeks after their babies are born.

that would mean I take off 11 weeks and I dont want to take advantage. does it reflect poorly?

I cant believe im even asking this question!!! im so brainwashed by my school and studies that profession comes before my family ugh. I hate that I feel guilty about staying home with my baby over going back to work.

amother

Pewter

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:33 pm

I'm dealing with same dilemma literally today.
Should I go back to work full time or cut back hours.
I really, really want to stay home more hours with my baby and only want to go back to work for half the hours. But we need the money. My problem is that once I pay a babysitter I'm barely making anything anymore to make it worth it to leave my baby.

Personally, if I could wing it financially, I would cut down hours for sure!
My previous births were in Israel where the culture is completely different and I was so spoiled to get off fully paid for 14 weeks. My boss said she told her kids Its worth it to borrow money to be able to afford an extension past 14 weeks.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

11 weeks is a perfectly normal maternity leave. It is not taking advantage at all. I am also a therapist in a yeshiva. My last maternity leave was 9 weeks, because I wanted to go back to work then and I was happy with my decision. I am currently TTC and I plan on taking 12-18 weeks maternity leave IYH

challahchallah

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:49 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

11 weeks is not at all taking advantage. Federally, FMLA mandates employers to give a minimum of 12 weeks. While you may not qualify, that should give you a benchmark that a 12 week leave is not at all outlandish. Many states including NY guarantee even more than that. Your professional life will not be permanently damaged because you took an extra few weeks off for maternity leave. Think about what decision you’ll be happier with when you look back on this time years from now.

amother

Blush

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If it's only 2 weeks before a break I don't think it's a big deal as long as your agency is okay with it. I know plenty of people that extended their maternity leave when it fell out shortly before a break.