Dh won’t get vaccinated... kids upset what can I do?

ora_43

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 6:51 am

Anyway, OP, I think it depends exactly what your kids are worried about.

If they're worried about your dh's health, I'd emphasize that he's taking care to not risk exposure, and that he's relatively young and healthy and likely to get through covid just fine (assuming that's true).

If they're worried about restrictions on their own movement, I'd emphasize that your dh is being very careful not to risk exposure.

Like previous posters said - all while maintaining clear limits about what is and isn't their business. And focusing on the fact that their father deserves their respect even when they don't agree with him.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:46 am

If you got really sick from the vaccine. I don't think you're kids want their father going through with that.
I've posted this before on a different thread but I'll say it again. Like with all vaccines vaccinating should be an individual decision. You need to ask a doctor who is UNBIASED and will look at you as an INDIVIDUAL and will decide if YOU should receive the vaccine. Based on YOUR PERSONAL HEALTH AND THE WAY YOUR BODY WILL REACT. And no one should treat anyone any different if they are vaxxed or not. No one should care

amother

Opal

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 8:33 am

ora_43 wrote:

Why the shock here that "kids under 12" notice these things, or care? We're not talking toddlers, here. Or some esoteric issue in foreign policy. This is the most immediate political issue in a lot of communities right now, and school-aged kids are more than able to follow what's going on.

I'm honestly shocked that anyone would think a child age 10 or 11 is too young for an opinion on important issues.

So don't rush to blame OP, let alone accuse her of being the problem. Really not nice and really out of touch with what normal preteen development looks like.

Says you .

My 15 year old knows about my vaxx status and my husband's vaxx status, my 13 year old and down do not. They just don't care. We don't frequently talk about covid in the house, despite the fact that I have some pretty strong ideas about things, I discuss adult topics w adults. Let kids be kids.

amother

Opal

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 8:37 am

amother [ Feverfew ] wrote:

This. A normal 10 year old in my world knows at least the basics of what's going on in the world, and certainly knows about covid and vaccinations. It's a major part of life today.

I don't get the idea that we hide the whole thing from them in order not to cause anxiety. It just causes ignorance. By ten, kids know life isn't perfect, and that there are negative things we avoid in order to protect ourselves (car accidents, strangers in the street, even too much sun). Covid is one more thing we make an effort to avoid.

Ignorance? Nah. Protecting children as best as we can from worrisome information is part of life for most parents.

ora_43

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 8:41 am

amother [ Opal ] wrote:

Chill. I'm not saying your kids have to care. I'm just saying that if they did, that would be normal.

amother

Feverfew

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 8:45 am

amother [ Opal ] wrote:

Ignorance? Nah. Protecting children as best as we can from worrisome information is part of life for most parents.

I guess everyone draws the limit elsewhere.

I wouldn't sit down and explain the atrocities going on in war torn countries to a ten year old. Even if it's true, even if it is part of current events and general knowledge, I wouldn't share that.

OTOH, something like covid and vaxing is different IMO. It's not a distant atrocity, it's a local and international pandemic. I wouldn't instill anxiety, but I don't raise them in bubble wrap either. I mean, most 10 year olds know bad things can happen if they go home with a stranger, or cross the street at a red light. I don't see how knowing about covid/vaccines etc is any different.

In any case, even if I never said a word, 10 year old kids in my community would know all about it. They are exposed to the news at school, from friends, extended family, etc.

notshanarishona

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 8:48 am

Personally this is something I would discuss with a doctor not a rav and make a educated decision. There is no halachic shayla about getting vaccinated.

amother

Opal

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 9:07 am

ora_43 wrote:

Chill. I'm not saying your kids have to care. I'm just saying that if they did, that would be normal.

You referenced *normal development". I'm suggesting that the default is actually for kids not to know or care, and that often their opinions are not their own, but just copy + paste of their parents opinions. Teenagers are a whole nother story. Of course they have opinions. On everything. Lol.

ora_43

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 9:43 am

amother [ Opal ] wrote:

You referenced *normal development".

Normal is a range, not a single position. The same way that a child who learns to walk at 10 months and a child who learns to walk at 15 months are both developing normally, a kid who cares about the news at age 9 and one starts caring at age 15 are both developing normally.

Quote:

I'm suggesting that the default is actually for kids not to know or care

There is no default.

amother

PlumPink

Mon, Aug 23 2021, 5:00 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

To answer the question the kids know because:
A) I got very sick from the shot and couldn’t really take care of them for the better part of a week
B) we traveled and had to do quarantine because he wasn’t vaxxed
C) friends and family members (mine not his) won’t visit us, spend chag with us etc because he isn’t. There is a lot of pressure there
D) the school they attend is making different decisions for kids who’s parents are vaxxed regarding isolation/symptoms
E) we are in a community with a very high vax rate and this is a hot topic

But I hear you all. I don’t think my kids are scared he will get sick, I think maybe they are worried his choices will limit them. I mostly am fine without him getting the shot but I’d prefer he did

Maybe they're anxious about him getting sick if he gets the shot, like you experienced?

Otherwise, their anxiety over him NOT getting it doesn't really make sense.