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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Succos
amother
OP
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:34 pm
Our neighbors succah is right under our master bedroom window. There is lots of talking, singing, laughter and loud live music going on for the past hour and a half (we can definitely hear a keyboard, guitar, drums).
I just called my neighbor to ask them if they could quiet down. We normally have a very good relationship with one another. Apparently they invited a group of 40 teenage boys to a succah party. She said she'd ask them to wrap up the party at midnight. It's now about 11:20pm. She sounded very annoyed that I was asking for quiet. She said that her husband was trying to nap in the succah on yom tov afternoons and my kids were playing tag very noisily on that side of the house, but they didn't ask the kids to be quiet because they didn't want to bother us. I told her to please bother us next time! I have no problem asking my kids to play tag elsewhere. In truth though, I don't think it is a fair comparison. Making noise midday is different than making noise late at night. And you can't compare the amount of noise my four children can make to the volume of her 40 guests.
What would you have done? She made me feel silly and guilty for asking. Like my request was very unreasonable. On the flip side, I'm so distressed by her refusal to quiet down the party. It feels so inconsiderate.
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amother
Trillium
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:35 pm
Succos is almost over. Keep the peace with this neighbor who you have always gotten along with.
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amother
Jade
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:36 pm
It’s a tough question. On one hand, you’re right, it is inconsiderate. On the other hand, it is Sukkos, and if at all possible I’d try to cut them some slack. I hope for your sake they do wind down by midnight.
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amother
NeonGreen
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:37 pm
Tomorrow isn't a work day. I wouldn't say anything until 1 am.
Close your windows, put on the ac and download a noise machine app. It should do the trick.
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amother
Phlox
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:37 pm
It’s still considered very early for motse Shabbos chol hamoed. It’s not like it’s 2-3 o’clock. I wouldn’t say anything this early. Let them enjoy their chag.
Also Shabbos afternoon is very normal for people to nap and be very annoyed by kids’ noise. She was very considerate for not bothering to complain to you.
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amother
Jean
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:40 pm
It's sukkos. This is jewish life with jewish neighbors. It's not too late for motzei shabbos.
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amother
Mauve
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:42 pm
Let them be. Sukkos is all about happiness and getting together. Bad location for you but let them be.
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allthingsblue
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:43 pm
amother [ Phlox ] wrote: | It’s still considered very early for motse Shabbos chol hamoed. It’s not like it’s 2-3 o’clock. I wouldn’t say anything this early. Let them enjoy their chag.
Also Shabbos afternoon is very normal for people to nap and be very annoyed by kids’ noise. She was very considerate for not bothering to complain to you. |
I disagree that it’s “very early.” Not everyone has teens who keep the family up late. Some people have little babies and young children and have to go to sleep early because everyone wakes up early.
I also don’t think it was considerate of her to not complain about kids making noise *outside*. The sukkah is a temporary dwelling that does not have all the comforts of home. You can’t ask neighbors to not be outside at a normal hour of the day.
Op is not in the wrong. But it would be nice if her to overlook this if possible.
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amother
Phlox
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:45 pm
allthingsblue wrote: | I disagree that it’s “very early.” Not everyone has teens who keep the family up late. Some people have little babies and young children and have to go to sleep early because everyone wakes up early.
I also don’t think it was considerate of her to not complain about kids making noise *outside*. The sukkah is a temporary dwelling that does not have all the comforts of home. You can’t ask neighbors to not be outside at a normal hour of the day.
Op is not in the wrong. But it would be nice if her to overlook this if possible. |
The noise now is outside as well. To me it’s equal. Shabbos afternoon is nap time for some. Morse Shabbos 11:00 is only bedtime for some. Neighbors must be me mevater and live with each other’s noise as long as it’s not crazy. 2 a.m. would be crazy. 11:20 wasn’t.
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amother
OP
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:45 pm
Thanks for the different perspective, everyone. It's helpful to hear. I guess with little kids, sleep is a precious commodity for us, and being kept awake until midnight feels very very very late!
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allthingsblue
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:46 pm
amother [ Phlox ] wrote: | The noise now is outside as well. To me it’s equal. Shabbos afternoon is nap time for some. Morse Shabbos 11:00 is only bedtime for some. Neighbors must be me mevater and live with each other’s noise as long as it’s not crazy. 2 a.m. would be crazy. 11:20 wasn’t. |
It’s outside but affecting op inside her house. There are instruments involved. It’s not kids playing outside that you hear when you are outside.
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amother
Phlox
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:47 pm
allthingsblue wrote: | It’s outside but affecting op inside her house. There are instruments involved. It’s not kids playing outside that you hear when you are outside. |
I understand. I hear music from my bedroom right now too. It’s succos. I have no complaints.
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allthingsblue
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:48 pm
amother [ Phlox ] wrote: | I understand. I hear music from my bedroom right now too. It’s succos. I have no complaints. |
Is the music and noise in the sukkah right beneath your master bedroom?
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amother
Jean
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:50 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thanks for the different perspective, everyone. It's helpful to hear. I guess with little kids, sleep is a precious commodity for us, and being kept awake until midnight feels very very very late! |
I understand you, we have the same. It's so very frustrating but this is life. It's yom tov and we expect neighbors to be understanding. If they didn't stop by 1:00, I'd call them again. We also have it on purim night, our upstairs neighbor dancing on our heads with our house shaking till late into the night.
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amother
Phlox
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:51 pm
allthingsblue wrote: | Is the music and noise in the sukkah right beneath your master bedroom? |
No it seems like down the block or around the corner. It’s definitely close to other people’s master bedroom. That’s not the point. The point is that I feel it’s reasonable for people to still celebrate at this hour in their succah and I have no complaints. OP asked WWYD so I’m saying I wouldn’t complain. Simple. At 2 a.m. my answer would be different.
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allthingsblue
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:51 pm
While we’re on the topic one thing that really annoys me is firecrackers and fireworks on Purim night.
I hope the music and singing is at least pleasant to listen to
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amother
Royalblue
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:54 pm
It’s sukkos, I say we gotta look away. It’s also very noisy here but I’m grateful to be surrounded by sukkos!
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amother
OP
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:54 pm
allthingsblue wrote: | While we’re on the topic one thing that really annoys me is firecrackers and fireworks on Purim night.
I hope the music and singing is at least pleasant to listen to |
It's lovely to hear young, happy people having kosher, wholesome fun...
But the pounding of the drums has woken my baby once already, so I'm a bit on edge, hoping it doesn't happen again!
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amother
Salmon
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Sat, Sep 25 2021, 11:55 pm
My neighbors once made a party late one summer night. My kids all real out of bed in pajamas to check ot out. I fargin the neighbor the noise. But I would have loved to be warned before hand. It wasn't so bad put kids back in bed and we all fell asleep to a beutiful lively band. This shall be your worst problem in life.
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amother
Apricot
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Sun, Sep 26 2021, 12:04 am
It is silly to think that many in that age group will quiet down, so not going to happen. Earplugs? Give up on getting to sleep before the party is over? Guest bedroom? White noise?
It would have been mentschlich to give you a heads up but people are all involved in their own stuff.
She does not sound like the best communicator. I would let it drop and just deal and not get into it with her more. It is not worth it. But for what its worth I am all on your viewpoint with this but people are different.
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