Can you explain Mitzva tantz?

amother

Arcticblue

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:12 pm

amother [ Tanzanite ] wrote:

I'm the poster who said I don't feel comfortable watching the chosson and kallah dance, but I'm sorry, where do you see any disrespect for others' minhagim? It's not like I storm out and create a ruckus when the chosson and kallah dance together.

We've already established PAGES AGO that different sects hold that different things are muttar and assur and that we all agree that a mitzvah tantz may be assur for some, but muttar for others.

This thread is not about disrespect. It's about understanding.

Honestly, the only disrespect I've seen is the chassidish poster (sry to call out the background but it's quite relevant here) poster who attacked chabad, litvish etc with lists of things they do that she is sure are absolutely against halacha (for EVERYONE, not just for her like the litvish posters keep pointing out). I don't think anyone even responded to her, because most of us are trying to keep this conversation as respectful as possible.

Let's not ruin it.

I wasn’t attacking you just summarizing what I saw on the first few pages. There were people they were saying thqt a mitzva tantz is assur. You can say that it’s Assur to you but that’s not what they were saying. One poster even suggested that yhr chassidim are mistaken because how could a assur thing be allowed. Yes I consider that disrespectful. And I agree with you that the poster who attacked Chabad was equally disrespectful.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:15 pm

amother [ NeonPurple ] wrote:

Those are not yeshivish schools. Just litvish/ jpf schools. They have a mix exactly like you described.

Ok, thank you. I thought Bas Mikroh & Chafetz Chaim are yeshivish schools.
Are there no yeshivish schools in Monsey?

amother

Seablue

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:15 pm

amother [ NeonPurple ] wrote:

Your relatives don’t fit the profile of yeshivish. I have been in the yeshivish world forever. Singing in front of men was never acceptable, gong to mixed camps was never acceptable. You are just describing litvish/ jpf. Why do you think they are yeshivish? Being associated with a yeshiva does not automatically make you yeshivish. Not all yeshivas are yeshivish. And it’s not about shifting these things have always been basics in the yeshivish world.

This particular relative I'm speaking of has been in kollel for 35+ years in the most yeshivish city in the world. Keep saying they're not really yeshivish.

Certain things used to be looked at as okay but are not done today, even in the yeshivish world. Like the example I brought, boys and girls working in the same daycamp setting.
You can't deny it, it's basic history.

amother

NeonPurple

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:18 pm

amother [ Seablue ] wrote:

What’s the most yeshivish city? Bnei brak? That’s just not the history of the yeshivish world sorry.

amother

Ghostwhite

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:19 pm

amother [ Ghostwhite ] wrote:

By the time a boy or girl are old enough to marry, they are mature enough to be trusted with doing the appropriate thing. They don't need parents watching them, just as they won't need parents monitoring them during niddah after marriage to make sure they don't do anything they shouldn't. They have yiras shomayim and follow halacha. The boy and girl discuss each date with their parents and often a rebbi or someone trusted.

Also wanted to add that the reason our rabbonim encourage a minimum of 8 dates is to really determine the potential spouse's character and personality and make sure it is a match. Of course it's not foolproof, but usually you can see compatibility and see any possible red flags much more easily over multiple dates in various settings, than you can sitting in a dining room with your parents in the next room.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:20 pm

scruffy wrote:

Also some very yeshivish people send to Bais Rochel.

Not really. Bais Rochel is basically a regular chassidish school by now. Non chassidish people don't put in there anymore. There are also a couple of yeshivish families in Bais Shifra Miriam and they go to Pe'er high school.

scruffy

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:20 pm

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

Not really. Bais Rochel is a regular chassidish school by now. There are also a couple of yeshivish families in Bais Shifra Miriam and they go to Pe'er high school.

Oh OK good to know. I have friends that went to Bais Rochel back in the day. I guess times change Smile

amother

Arcticblue

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:21 pm

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

you are wrong. My family currently sends to bais Rochel and plenty of yeshivish people in the school.

amother

Ghostwhite

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:22 pm

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

I know a few people who send to Pe'er. Some yeshivish, and some definitely not yeshivish.

amother

Daffodil

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:22 pm

First Lady wrote:

I'm the first one to bring awareness to the fact that Chassidish is a huge spectrum (and I agree that it's probably a bigger spectrum than the Yeshivish world).
I myself am full fledged Chassidish, yet would not fit in to a KJ or Williamsburg style community. My Chassidish family doesn't shave, we drive and so on.
I have seen many different Chassidish types, but what you described is definitely not considered within the spectrum of a Chassidish family. Someone who uncovers her hair, wears short sleeves? I've never seen that. Unless they are on a journey and are moving away from being Chassidish, which ultimately makes them not Chassidish.
I also agree with you that the examples some of the posters are bringing up about Yeshivish families, does not fall under the spectrum of Yeshivish.

This is exactly how I feel when posters here are describing "yeshivish ". Maybe these people do exist, but like you, I have never met them. Thank you for agreeing with me - these just do not sound yeshivish.

About Chassidish - I have noticed that even people who are basically almost OTD will still keep their Chassidish garb. It seems that's the last thing to go - even after chillul Shabbos.

First Lady

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:26 pm

amother [ Daffodil ] wrote:

Interesting. Maybe because they don't want to upset parents/community and their levush is the only visible part, therefore last to go. Just my guess.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:29 pm

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

you are wrong. My family currently sends to bais Rochel and plenty of yeshivish people in the school.

There are some, but not plenty. And mostly in high school. Yeshivish families don't really put in to Bais Rochel at this point and it's considered a chassidish school.

amother

Beige

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:29 pm

amother [ Seablue ] wrote:

Correct. My grandmother was in the bungalow colony with many Roshei Yeshiva and we’re on first name basis.

Genius

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:31 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Correct. My grandmother was in the bungalow colony with many Roshei Yeshiva and we’re on first name basis.

To be historically accurate, chassidim used to mingle too back in the day. (but nothing happened during mitzva tantz)

Last edited by Genius on Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:32 pm; edited 1 time in total