DD 3 never plays. | Imamother

English3

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 12:06 pm

My three year old never plays. I have plenty of toys for her age and older. She is a very bright and seriously cheeky little girl. All she does is turn over the place.she goes to the sink. Colours on wall. cuts anything. Smashes eggs etc. Any advice what I can do?
My other daughter used to color loved playing. My next son could play for hours but she doesn't touch toys.
Sometimes she plays with play dough and she manages to get it everywhere.
The hardest part is she is so sneaky and does all her mischief behind my back.

amother

Cherry

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 1:02 pm

I don’t know if you’re asking about a development issue (if you should be worried or not) or if you’re looking for practical advice to keep her from wrecking the house.

If the first, you didn’t give enough information, but my first impression is nothing to worry about.

For the second, that’s a challenge! It sounds like she is very creative and adventurous and you need to be a step ahead of her.

Can you teach her to crack eggs properly and help you bake? Hang large poster boards on the wall for her to color? Get her more boy toys to use her energy on?

Basically help her channel her interests to less destructive versions.

amother

NeonYellow

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 1:06 pm

Sounds like she is a child who is constantly on the go, doesn't settle down with enough focus and attention for functional play. You can try some sensory input such as deep pressure or heavy work to help her focus better and then try and get her to settle in quiet play. It may take playing with her initially and building up from very short spurts as her play skills develop

amother

Forsythia

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 1:11 pm

That sounds hard and it also sounds similar to my dd a couple of years back. Thankfully she's much better than she used to be, but she still isn't the sort of child to sit and color for ages like my other dd. I used to think about if she was a boy, what would I be doing/expecting of her because she was more like a boy than the sweet little girls who sit and play nicely.
Your dd sounds like she might be more sensory seeking. Have you tried giving her sand/water or other sensory materials to play with? Mine loved rice/lentils etc-I would give her a couple of cups and spoons and she spent a while playing with that (it got everywhere but it kept her occupied for longer and would just vacuum after). Also bath-time-I would put her in the bath early and let her play for ages. Also getting her moving was good. I bought a swing and trampoline for outdoors so she could use up some of her energy on them. Or scooter-she would race across my hallway back and forwards over and over. I also got rid of my colors as I couldn't trust her not to color things I didn't want her to. Also got rid of playdough as was tired of it getting everywhere.
Hatzlocha

amother

Apple

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 1:12 pm

She sounds sensory. Play dough is great. Put her in a clean empty place so if it gets all over its fine. Also let her play in the bath for up to 15 minutes.
with loads of toys. Smear moisturizer lotion on her when she is done. Play with her, its hard but if you focus on her she is less likely to act sneaky. 1 huge huggable teddy bear, or other animals. My friend has a sensory child she colored rice and let kid play with it. Take her to playgrounds often even in the cold but not cold enough for frostbite dress appropriately. She probably likes pushed on swings. My friends daughter has a moon walk and trampoline in her house. She has the room. Slime could feel like cracked eggs. Play under supervision so she doesn't eat it. Try O.t. when upset use alot of touch and hugs

English3

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 1:21 pm

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

Yes it sounds like she does need a lot of sensory, her teacher's say she loves all the messy play. And she is a the only cheeky kid in the class that tell her outright no when ever she tells the class to do something.
She is a little monster with full of character and very bright.

amother

Peony

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 1:32 pm

My now 4.5 year old was like that until he was around 3.5. It was extremely difficult. We got him evaluated and he was found to be average or advanced in every area with no social issues etc. Now he can play with legos or cars for literally hours, though he’s still a ball of energy. My advice, so long as you aren’t worried about developmental issues. Is to just keep trying different ideas and hang in there - odds are it will pass and she won’t be a 10 year old drawing on the walls.

amother

Alyssum

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 1:47 pm

Imaginative play is a very evolved “upper brain” skill set. Kids who can’t do this usually have more primitive “lower” parts activated, or like an amygdala hijack, preventing them from developing and exercising these skills. There can be so many reasons for this, but a common factor will be bringing the upper brain back in control, and quieting and taming the lower brain. In order to do this you need to figure out why it’s stuck. Evaluations and therapies won’t tell you much about this.

English3

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 2:15 pm

amother [ Alyssum ] wrote:

Where can I research that? She loves to dance and composes her own song the whole day so I presume there is some imagination there.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Nov 02 2021, 6:39 am

1. Lock up everything she isn't supposed to have.

2. Set aside any messy things she is allowed to have.

3. Get a big plastic shower curtain with a cute pattern to spread on the floor. This is the play area. Not the sofa, not the walls, not your dining room furniture. JUST on the plastic! You can spread it out anywhere in the room that you are working in. While you are folding laundry, cooking, whatever. Keep her next to you, and occasionally comment on what she is doing.

4. The more you pay attention to her, the less she will be naughty to get your attention. Get her to "help" with your activities. A 3yo can help fold washcloths and hand towels. She can stir cake mix, or she can knead her own little piece of challah.

Sensory seeking kids can be lots of fun, if you know how to engage with them. You'll learn how to enjoy being excited by every little thing, and you'll feel like a kid all over again. Very Happy

English3

Tue, Nov 02 2021, 11:37 am

Thanks frantic! Lol she isn't naughty more like miss independence. She ain't need any help from anyone. She doesn't let me take her into the school building, she gets dressed on her own ...
For those that asked how long I expect her to play alone. I just want her to start playing. She has no interest in any toys, not magnets, Lego, role play, cars, kitchen toys, dolls, puzzles, books. NADA. If I sit with her she will play for a few seconds and then walk away.
Her favourite activity is to stand on a stool in the kitchen and watch what I am doing. Which I am ok with until she disappears.