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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:29 pm
Why is it better to post nastily under your screen name rather than anonymously?
Being mean is not ok, either way.
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BrisketBoss
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:31 pm
More accountability. People posting anonymously feel more license to experiment with saying whatever they want, and they take it less personally when they get called out. After all, no one knows it was them. Just like it feels safer to post anonymously for benign reasons, it feels safer to post anonymously to be mean.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:35 pm
Often someone will post something mean as amother. And another poster will argue that it's not ok to be mean anonymously. It's never ok to be mean!
Or, there will be an argument between an anonymous ima and a non anonymous ima. And the non anonymous one will say, at least I'm not hiding behind amother, or something like that. I mean, if she was mean, either way it's not ok!
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vintagebknyc
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:38 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Why is it better to post nastily under your screen name rather than anonymously?
Being mean is not ok, either way. |
Because this group has rules. EACH of us agreed to those rules when we signed up to be a part of this community, and one of the rules that gets broken constantly is about anonymous commenting.
Anonymous comments are ONLY supposed to be for when you share something personal. And they are NEVER, specifically never supposed to be allowed when you're being unkind of insulting to someone.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:40 pm
I hear.
I guess my question (or comment) is, it doesn't make it better to be nasty under your screen name. Either way - there's a real person on the other side of the screen.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:41 pm
Just btw, I am not one of those that always posts anonymously. I do more often under my screen name, unless it's private or sensitive or other good reason.
It's this specific argument I often see that I'm questioning.
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JenniferK
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:42 pm
If they wouldn’t post anonymous we would see a pattern of rudeness and maybe Yael could take steps to stop it.
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JenniferK
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:42 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Why is it better to post nastily under your screen name rather than anonymously?
Being mean is not ok, either way. |
Why are you anonymous now?
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amother
Cyclamen
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:45 pm
OP, when someone writes "you can't be mean when you're amother", the poster doesn't actually mean to say that it's okay for her to be mean with her screen name. What the poster really means is that, of course you have no problem being cruel, you're hiding. Come out, show your face, and then let's see if you can behave in the same manner. Get it?
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vintagebknyc
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:45 pm
JenniferK wrote: | Why are you anonymous now? |
This is really part of the larger problem: the sheer volume of anonymous posts for no actual reason. It's created a huge lack of community where there used to be one
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:45 pm
JenniferK wrote: | Why are you anonymous now? |
I was waiting for someone to ask that.
Ok, I confess. I usually have a reason, but not always is it a good one.
Sometimes I'm just embarrassed or insecure, which is usually when I start a new post.
I will say, honestly, that it's never to attack.
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vintagebknyc
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:46 pm
amother [ Cyclamen ] wrote: | OP, when someone writes "you can't be mean when you're amother", the poster doesn't actually mean to say that it's okay for her to be mean with her screen name. What the poster really means is that, of course you have no problem being cruel, you're hiding. Come out, show your face, and then let's see if you can behave in the same manner. Get it? |
Actually, and I say it a lot, I really mean that they are breaking the rules they signed on to follow
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:47 pm
vintagebknyc wrote: | This is really part of the larger problem: the sheer volume of anonymous posts for no actual reason. It's created a huge lack of community where there used to be one |
This bothers me as well, which is why like I said, unless there's a good reason, or just an insecure reason, I usually don't post anonymously.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:49 pm
amother [ Cyclamen ] wrote: | OP, when someone writes "you can't be mean when you're amother", the poster doesn't actually mean to say that it's okay for her to be mean with her screen name. What the poster really means is that, of course you have no problem being cruel, you're hiding. Come out, show your face, and then let's see if you can behave in the same manner. Get it? |
Yes. This makes a lot of sense.
Thank you.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:50 pm
vintagebknyc wrote: | Actually, and I say it a lot, I really mean that they are breaking the rules they signed on to follow |
Is there a specific rule about being nasty under amother?
Or just being civil in general?
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#BestBubby
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:50 pm
If anyone thinks I wrote a nasty post, please PM me, with a quote of the "nasty" post.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:53 pm
#BestBubby wrote: | If anyone thinks I wrote a nasty post, please PM me, with a quote of the "nasty" post. |
I was really referring here to the questioning of anonymous nasty posts, not the posts themselves!
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vintagebknyc
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:56 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Is there a specific rule about being nasty under amother?
Or just being civil in general? |
Yes. You are not allowed to be nasty or insulting under amother. You had to agree to that rule to become a member of the site.
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#BestBubby
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:56 pm
OK.
As others said, many people would write "nicer" if they had to post under their Screen Name.
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clarity1
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Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:58 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I hear.
I guess my question (or comment) is, it doesn't make it better to be nasty under your screen name. Either way - there's a real person on the other side of the screen. |
if you can see who it is thats being nasty you can avoid them or ignore them in the future but if its anonymous you cant know who it is for next time
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