Please help: struggling so much with my weight AFTER surgery

Chana Miriam S

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:15 pm

momomany wrote:

Im another Greysheeter. 17 years. 90 lbs. It is far easier to weigh and measure than to be obese. I NEVER again want to live the hell that my life was when I was obese and binging and craving and feeling sick and hating myself for self inflicting the misery. Being a part of the group (and it costs zero) and working the steps is integral to my recovery. I personally love the live and on camera zoom meetings best (see greysheet.org). And the miracle did happen for me. The cravings are gone gone gone. It is easy to eat my delicious large portions of food guilt free.

I agree that the twelve steps are wonderful and your experience is amazing, but also she had surgery. I’m not sure eating large amounts of food at one time applies here.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:17 pm

Why don’t u go back to ur surgeon and discuss it with him? Something is off with ur sleeve
And before everyone starts judging me I did the sleeve a long time ago and Bh I’m doing amazing- I think ur dr should have some plan for u

amother

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 5:40 pm

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

But were you craving and overeating/bingeing before your sleeve? Maybe I messed up my own sleeve (although I don’t know because I ate so little in the beginning and still didn’t lose enough. Started regaining almost immediately..). Maybe I ate too much. Is that not possible?

amother

Coffee

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 6:04 pm

I was told that drinking anything with gas including seltzer,soda etc… could stretch ur stomach so maybe u did that? There’s a diet where u go back to the diet after the sleeve and it officially shrinks ur stomach back…I think it’s ur surgeons issue he was supposed to remove a lot of ur stomach so u can’t get to the point that ur at u should definitely contact him!
I’m so so so sorry what ur going through cuz doing the surgery was such a hard scary painful experience I can’t imagine how u must feel after gaining weight back!! Good luck!!!

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 7:28 pm

I'm in OA. I went from 206 lb to 130 lb and ate abstinently (though imperfectly) for about 3.5 years. I was in relapse since about May (gained about 40 lb since then), but now BH I have a new sponsor and have been eating abstinently for 1 week and started working the program again. I feel much better eating abstinently.

There are different ways of keeping track of your food. Not everyone in 12 step food programs believes in weighing and measuring. I know someone who abstains from her "alcoholic" foods but otherwise does not weigh and measure. Although I don't know how she does it, truth be told, nor which 12 step food program she's following.

Anyway, in case you or someone else is interested here is a 12 step OA group called A Vision For You. Posting a link to their longer podcasts, but they have daily meetings as well.

https://www.avision4you.info/s.....cast/

Hatzlacha OP!

amother

Jean

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 8:44 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

New Jersey

Me too if you want ask admin to message me we take insurance we have a few options to help and we don't focus on restriction. We try to help you eat as normally as possible that's really the goal

amother

Scarlet

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 8:11 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But see…I hear again and again how people relapse…
What is there to do?

Compulsive Overesting is a disease
It’s not that we are bad, immoral, have no self control, it’s a disease
And if we stop taking our “medicine” it comes back with a vengeance
Once we come to that realization that we are powerless over it and let Hashem help us then with the help of a food plan and other tools we can MANAGE this disease.

amother

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 8:36 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

Yeah so I’m other words, I’m doomed. Amother puce gained 40 pounds since May (3 months????) because she relapsed. Is there no way to help myself that I don’t have to be on a strict black and white diet forever, and if I take a step to the right or left I’d gain 40 pounds in 3 months? Is it feasible to say I’m going to stay on such an eating plan for the rest of my life?

amother

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 8:37 am

amother [ Jean ] wrote:

Me too if you want ask admin to message me we take insurance we have a few options to help and we don't focus on restriction. We try to help you eat as normally as possible that's really the goal

How do I ask the admin that? Where in NJ are you? What do you do differently than other bariatric dieticians?

amother

Jean

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 8:54 am

We're in Edison
You can ask the admin for my email
Real food three meals and snacks
Protein
Water
Mindfulness is a huge part
Eating slowly

We talk alot about what you have been doing what hasn't been working and tweak it. Usually we can figure it out. If not the Dr does have other options that you can discuss with him but I've dealt with weight regain and have helped many patients.

momomany

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 9:02 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You are NOT doomed at all. Baruch Hashem you have a problem that does have a solution. I have the same problem that you do and I kicked and screamed and fought it for 36 years! Once I accepted my problem and stopped blaming myself, I was able.to start reaching out to others with the same issue and learning how to live with it and enjoy life again. It seems overwhelming at first but the rewards are immeasurable. A normal size body is just one tiny part of the miracle that has happened to me. I tried it for 1 meal and then 2 and then a weekend etc and now it's 17 years.

(OA/Greysheet 17 years, 90 lb, 53 years old kh)

amother

Slategray

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 9:05 am

I look at this similar to keeping a clean house. My neighbor is a hoarder. She asked me to come help her get rid of stuff. I can go over there and throw out all the broken toys and garbage, but the next month she’s just going to start again with keeping all the kids’ projects and her mother’s old broken dishes and so on.

The surgery or the medicine or even the eating plan are like me coming in and cleaning the house once. But the brain problem is still there (or the hormone problem, or the emotional problem, or even the genetic problem). The only person who can really make the changes is you, and gradually too in a way that will stick.

So for example, if my neighbor decides to take photos of the kids’ projects and then throw out any that don’t have pictures of the kids on them, then that’s a victory. Similarly, if you eat more fruit and veggies, or drink more water, or stop eating after 8 pm if you’re not hungry, then that’s a victory. But it has to come from within.

amother

Tuberose

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 10:40 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you all for your support!

Is there any way anyone has done this without strict abstention kind of diets? Just a balanced diet?
I know I need low carb. I’m so sensitive to carbs. But no carbs is so hard.
I’ve gone to so many OA classes.
I get so stressed from them. It feels so overwhelming. I can’t stand measuring and weighing.
Also, I am so so so so busy that the idea of having to go out at night to meetings was nearly impossible and overwhelming.
To the poster that said she isn’t busy enough so she eats…
I am so busy (have crazy amount of work, never-ending…) and yet I still find time to keep overeating at night.

I do OA without weighing and measuring.

imaima

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 12:18 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes but so are so many people.
People stay on l-thyroxib forever and then add other measures too..

Another thing is looking at your lifestyle, but I guess you can explore it with a therapist. If you are so busy and you have so much to do then maybe it is not sustainable on less food. You literally have too much on your plate!

amother

Emerald

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 2:10 pm

mashcsch wrote:

I joined OA 12 years ago, lost 85 pounds and I am still maintaining approximately an 80 lb weight loss all these years later. Followed the food plan (modified) while pregnant and nursing as well. I didn't believe anyone when they told me the cravings to eat disappear, but that's the truth!!!! I basically never struggle with food anymore. We follow a 12 step program of recovery which heals us from the compulsion to eat. This program saved my life!

I know they have a few eating plans in t heir booklet, or you can choose your own. I'm thinking of joining OA, and I'm unsure about which eating plan to try. Which eating plan do you follow? It sounds like it's very sustainable if you were able to stick to it for so long. Thanks.

amother

Fri, Aug 12 2022, 3:49 pm

Thank you so much for all your replies.
I’m still confused amother Jean - how do I write to the admin?

I have an appointment with the Bariatric surgeon on Monday so I will ask him lots of questions and then take it from there.

I simply can’t weigh and measure I tried it so many times and it causes me to get upset and end up bingeing. Also the black and white - where if you eat one spoonful of the wrong thing you’re back to square one - is very overwhelming to me.
But I do like the idea of doing a plan with a sponsor that doesn’t include measuring and weighing.

So after my appointment I’ll ask you all again…