Did a/o NOT get tips?

amother

Bellflower

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 2:12 pm

This is why I hate tip culture. Pay each person fair wages and let’s stop this nonsense of tipping. It does more harm than good.
Keep sending thank you notes. Definitely. Sometimes I have my kids write them and sometimes I do. We appreciate everyone’s hard work immensely.

Eta I did tip everyone

amother

Yolk

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 2:27 pm

My daughter gave her son's playgroup morah $150 tip, and the two assistants $50 each. Guess how many thank yous: 0! She saw one of them the next day who said nothing.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 2:34 pm

This is what a tipping culture creates - obligations and expectations!. To be honest, the obligation to tip is what I fund off-putting and makes me much more hesitant about this. Obligatory tips don't express the same amount of thanks as voluntary ones do.

So imo, the tips are much less meaningful. Why push myself beyond my abilities to provide obligatory tips. Now, if this were voluntary and I decide on an individual basis to whom I'm really grateful for, I would work harder to show that gratitude.

(ETA - My kids school has mandatory tips. They chase after you to collect them.)

Batsheva1

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 3:16 pm

Wait till the end of the year. You'll probably get end-of-the-year cards and possibly some gifts then. Personally, I feel that is a more appropriate time to say thank you.

amother

Gray

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 3:29 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

Personally, I have lower expectations of a Medicaid doctor than I do of doctors who take private insurance. I actually rarely use Medicaid doctors anymore, because the private insurance ones are much, much better (this is a topic for another thread but I have lots of examples).

So by the same token, parents should have lower expectations of agency therapists than of private pay therapists. We get paid peanuts, and need to take on a huge amount of students to make a somewhat decent income. So no, we are not going to have much time to properly prepare for sessions and communicate with parents. We are also not going to be doing great therapy when we are tired and burned out from a doing a million sessions back to back

So why don't you become a private pay therapist?

amother

Junglegreen

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 3:32 pm

amother Lavender wrote:

From a parent. We are struggling financially just to pay tuition. We have 8 + children. It's impossible this year to give tips. I will send notes by tomorrow to all teachers and rebbeim, but that s all I can do this year. And ita not for lack of appreciation. Ita for lack of means. Giving ten dollars is making fun. I rather right a note from my heart.

You can send her homemade cookies to show your appreciation

amother

Ebony

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 3:35 pm

I’m surprised to hear how few tips are gotten!
I tip every Chanukah, PTA, and Purim.
It’s a given!
I also send a gift before Rosh Hashana and at the end of the year.

Tips have nothing to do with how much they get paid. It’s basic decency to show appreciation, and the bonus is that they pay extra attention to my kid.

Count it into your annual budget, and you’ll find a way to make it work.
Everyone finds money for what is priority to them.

amother

Nasturtium

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 3:37 pm

Batsheva1 wrote:

Wait till the end of the year. You'll probably get end-of-the-year cards and possibly some gifts then. Personally, I feel that is a more appropriate time to say thank you.

Not true. I don't think I've ever gotten anything at the end of the year. If I get at all, it's chanuka or purim

amother

Nasturtium

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 3:39 pm

amother Gray wrote:

So why don't you become a private pay therapist?

Many reasons. We can take this discussion to a diff thread cuz it's a different topic.

At the most basic level, though, the reason is that in NYC it's pretty easy to get approved for DOE therapy so very few parents are willing to pay privately. Cities that aren't so generous with services have more opportunity for private therapists.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 3:41 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

Tone deaf argument - especially in the current inflation environment.

amother

Marigold

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 3:52 pm

I live in chicago and my kids go to JDBY/YTT- they have an amazing option of chipping in for all of your kids teachers and ancillary staff (kriah, therapists, office , principals etc). The best part is that they dont show the teachers how much you chipped in. You can give as low as a few dollars and much higher. I have 2 kids and spent $100 on everyone- the main teachers and principals I gave 10-15, the aids and office staff I gave a little less. Some years when I was able to afford more, I gave more. They do however request that you give the rabbeim a separate check, which I understand. I give $100 but I have one son, if I had several boys in the school, I wouldnt be able to afford $100 each....

amother

Opal

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 3:58 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

Some people don't find any money for any priorities.There are plenty of people barely eating basic food and keeping the lights on. This inflation is really hurting people. This is a cold comment.

amother

DarkRed

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 4:00 pm

I did not tip my daughters SLP (services through school during class hours) but for a reason.

I tipped all the teachers, rebbeim, the kriah morah and the reading tutor.

My DDs SLP is a disaster, and I am really disappointed in her unprofessionalism. She did not call to introduce herself, she sends home handwritten, messy, unclear notes for homework practice, and my DD and I are confused by her instructions. I am going to be pulling DD out to do private therapy instead, as I don’t see how this SLP will help at all.

mha3484

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 4:02 pm

amother Marigold wrote:

My kids go there too but the therapists are not on the group gift. They are not employed by the school.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 4:06 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

I am an OT in a special education school with 30 students on my caseload. Over 3/4 of them tipped or sent a gift. It could be that since these kids are higher needs, their parents are more involved/appreciative. I think people tip therapists in frum schools in NY (or at least I thought they did until now) mostly because it’s the culture to do so. I would disagree with the poster who says she doesn’t tip her lawyer or CPA. Lawyers and CPAs can definitely receive gifts from clients, especially during gift season or a busy season.
Anon because of my identifying line of work.

professionals get from companies which can be expensed and are
not from individuals

this gift giving and tipping everyone is not our minhag

hopefully everyone can get decent salaries and the economy improves!

sometimes people feel worse to give a card with nothing inside, like it sets up expectations and disappointment...or time crunch....chanukah is not the only time we can show appreciation with a thank you note to those we do so appreciate!

amother

Maroon

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 4:07 pm

I give at the end of the year a gift and heartfelt handwritten letter. I dont think I have to do it when we’re barely into middle of the year. Do you go into the kitchen and Thank the waiter when he’s waiting for the chef who is in the middle of cooking your meal? No you say Thank You when he brings it to you, marking the end of that service. I say Thank You when the year is over and I genuinely have something tangible to thank for. I can’t write a whole megila when I haven’t even seen much from my kids yet. And gifts, I didn’t even buy gifts for my kids this year…

I’m very Thankful and grateful and when finances allow I contribute to the class gift they ask for. This year however I missed the due date because I had 3 medical emergencies that overlapped in the span of those 2 weeks that the paper circulated. So I missed it and that’s that. I really hope I’m not looked down upon for it.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 4:17 pm

amother Marigold wrote:

Brilliant! What a great model to emulate!

amother

Canary

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 4:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

Im a SLP in a school and have 30 students on my case load.
I got 2 chanukah gifts

Im just feel under appreciated. I spend so much of my own money on my students and I spend hours doing session notes, annual reviews, paperwork, speaking to parents, texting parents... Especially since this field doesn't pay anything.

It would have been nice to get a thank you card or text....

Dh and I work. Not in a school. One of us work for a frum place, one doesn't. The frum place gave out doughnuts, the non Jewish place have nothing.

Yet, we still tip the rebbe, teachers and bus drivers. When I didn't work, we tipped less.