I know this topic is boring but I need help

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Forum -> Children's Health -> Toilet Training

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amother

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:26 pm

DS age 3 is toilet trained for several months already. He is totally perfect with #1 but he keeps on having dirty accidents.
By now he knows good and well what the sensation is like, and he knows he should be going on the toilet. Non the less he still goes in his underwear on purpose. If I don't catch him quickly enough and drag him to the bathroom, he will have an accident. After having an accident, he comes to me and asks me to check if he is clean. When he is dirty he starts to cry and is very sad, but clearly not sad enough to stop him from doing it again.
He does not seem to care about the accident, despite knowing that he will have to put on a diaper if he soils his underwear.

He isn't scared of the toilet, nor is he stupid.
I've tried bribes, rewards, punishments... you name it. I don't know what to do. Can't put him back in diapers at age 3 1/2 but can't either leave him having dirty accidents all day.

amother

Ultramarine

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:27 pm

Sounds like encopresis

amother

Hydrangea

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:52 pm

Have him sit on the toilet the same time every day for 20 minutes. Give him a tablet or toys to keep him there. You might need to clean him out with enemas.

amother

Broom

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:57 pm

I had this with one of my children for over a year.
I would recommend giving him a daily laxative, putting him on the toilet for 15-30 minutes every day after breakfast and after supper (give him a video to watch or a coloring book so he's not bored), and give it a few weeks.

I'm sorry. It's beyond stressful to deal with sorry accidents especially when it happens so frequently.

amother

Orchid

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 1:00 am

Is this happening many times a day or just once or twice a day?

Does he ever successfully go on the toilet or is it 100% always in the underwear?

amother

Maroon

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 1:26 am

Is he constipated? It’s very possible the poop is coming too fast for him. I would have him sit for at least 10-15 after meals. I hope that helps.

amother

DarkYellow

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 1:45 am

Try keeping him in the house with no underwear or diaper, just a long t-shirt. Will he go on the floor? Very often, wearing nothing will have them run to the toilet.

amother

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 2:08 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

Sounds like encopresis

Excuse my ignorance, can you please explain?

amother

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 2:09 pm

amother Orchid wrote:

Is this happening many times a day or just once or twice a day?

Does he ever successfully go on the toilet or is it 100% always in the underwear?

Usually 1-2 times daily. He will successfully go on the toilet only when I notice the need and bring him to the bathroom. He won't go on his own ever.

amother

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 2:12 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

Is he constipated? It’s very possible the poop is coming too fast for him. I would have him sit for at least 10-15 after meals. I hope that helps.

He is constipated, and I blamed it on that for a while. It doesn't come out fast at all, just the opposite. He'll crouch on the floor for a few minutes before it comes out, and if I don't notice him in those few minutes I lost my chance. There is no reason he can't make it to the bathroom.

amother

Maroon

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 2:14 pm

It’s very possible he’s scared especially because it’s uncomfortable. Try to treat the constipation

amother

Ultramarine

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 2:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

So this is encopresis. A pediatric GI can help you find the right cocktail of laxatives to treat it.

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