Would u stop on the side of the road to help?

singleagain

Mon, Jul 03 2023, 8:29 pm

Cheiny wrote:

That doesn’t solve the problem of family members not being able to hear from you if you have no cell power left.

If you have no cell power left, send a text to someone in your phone who will send it onto your family members etc.

Besides, I don't even know how to change the voicemail on my phone..

The other day I was driving on my street. It was literally on the street. I live a couple blocks up and my phone rings and it's my dad and he said "did you see me? I was waving to you" and I was like "no" and he said "good" because it was actually safer that even though I was going 30 mph I had been looking at the road instead of the sides of the road

Also, is anyone else getting flashbacks to that thread where someone was wondering why the cars wouldn't slow down so she could cross route 9

amother

Violet

Mon, Jul 03 2023, 9:08 pm

amother Aconite wrote:

Wow! Thank you for posting this. I have occasionally picked up young boys who were hitching. It didn't occur to me that this was a risk.

Yes definitely be wary of hitchhikers, DH himself was a hitchhiker so he’s always picking up bachurim and others. He installed a camera for his protection so nobody can make up any stories. (As an aside a camera is a worthwhile investment for tickets and thefts etc. it also helped us when we were in an accident)

amother

Denim

Mon, Jul 03 2023, 10:51 pm

I stop regularly when I see accidents etc and offer to help. I am a medical professional and I ask if they need help.

On the highway, it can be much harder (and more dangerous) to pull over.

But if I saw that it was a frum woman, unless I had an urgent situation, I would get off at the next exit and come back around slowly to pull over and help.

(As a side note, I know someone whose brother parked and went to help a lady on the side of the road, whose child was climbing out of a window. Another car drove by and killed both him and the child. Words cannot express the trauma runs deep in the family, 20 yrs later.)

SG18

Tue, Jul 04 2023, 6:10 am

OP, I'm so sorry that you went through this. I can say from experience that it's often too late to help by the time you see someone on the side of the road. Just the other day, we were driving and saw two guys that needed a jack. My husband said he would have stopped, but by the time we saw them, it was too late, and there were no exits for a while. We would definitely have prioritized helping a woman with children, though.

I wouldn't be able to stop by myself, I'm not a skilled enough driver to confidently switch lanes and park safely.

As an aside, please bring keep water bottles and snacks with you when you travel, especially in the summer. You never know when you'll need a drink.

amother

Maize

Tue, Jul 04 2023, 7:10 am

I am very shocked about this story. My friend and I were driving to memorial day sale (super important lol) and saw a woman and bunch of kids stranded on other side of highway. We got off exit, circled around, piled them all into the car and drove them to their destination (far in opposite direction). Their car was toast. In my experience this is what jewish ppl do (I'm MO for reference). It's been done for me more than once too.

singleagain

Tue, Jul 04 2023, 7:17 am

amother Maize wrote:

Not everyone is doing something "super important lol." Some people have actual important or timed events that they're going to.

As kind of it is to stop and help. Someone is also not kind to make a person wait on you.

amother

Maize

Tue, Jul 04 2023, 7:22 am

singleagain wrote:

Agree of course. Wasn't passing judgement. I just think stopping and helping is pretty common in the Jewish community. Also a dioraisa known as "azov taazov imo". The reason this story shocks me is- was everyone in all the many passing cars rushing to something important? Obviously if you are your way to something important with no wiggle room, that's a valid excuse. In that case I'd call and report in case her phone wasn't working.

amother

Dustypink

Tue, Jul 04 2023, 7:41 am

I think people are being logical and saying if I could, I would stop, but realistically most times it isn't possible. But op is coming from an emotional place of where she was stuck by the side of the road with 2 crying kids, in the burning heat and every minute is like eternity and you just wish for salvation. And it's really really hard. I would have been a total wreck after such an experience. I'm not sure I would agree to drive after that.
Yes, we can all be practical and suggest what could have been different, but that was the story that happened to op. I know op posed it as a question, would you stop, but really she was saying I was stuck on the side of the road and no one stopped! And part of processing the story is being angry that no one did stop, because it's all emotional and not logical.

naturalmom5

Tue, Jul 04 2023, 3:23 pm

I’m actually more appalled by all the hyper defensiveness going on in this thread than the story OP told
Definitely be safe. Definitely don’t leave your children stranded somewhere
Definitely don’t come late to work or urgent appointments

However I would wager a months pay, that the same people saying they can’t help OP, are the SAME ones who have nothing for a mesholuch and can’t have Shabbos guests

amother

IndianRed

Tue, Jul 04 2023, 3:25 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

You would lose.

worknights1313

Fri, Jul 07 2023, 2:36 pm

I would be inclined to stop if I could. But I’m also aware that people get killed stopping on the side of an expressway. That would make me nervous. I’m really sorry that happened to you. I hope you can be Dan l’kaf zchus. Sometimes I see a situation where I can give assistance but I processed it too late in my brain and I already passed by. It’s very difficult to get back to that exact spot.

amother

Currant

Fri, Jul 07 2023, 4:13 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

What an awful thing to say!
It’s the three weeks.
I think all of us on this thread can use some DLKZ work. Maybe Yael should post some sort of DLKZ course requirement for joining imamother.

amother

Viola

Fri, Jul 07 2023, 10:01 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

Sorry, you are wrong. We have hosted random guests in the past, including being asked Shabbos morning at shul kiddush if we could host someone...I didn't have enough food so I ran home and made a few salads just to make sure we had enough to eat (opened a can of pickles, opened a can of corn for a corn salad...). It was lovely and we have done that sort of thing a few times in the past.

I would stop on a side street if I could and it was safe. But never on a highway. And I was stuck on the highway myself with my kids. I am not a great highway driver. I almost always have my kids in my car. And I live in an area that isn't so safe especially on the highway. Crazy driver city. Plenty of other reasons I couldnt including high crime and people pretending to be stopped/have a flat to carjack you. Have I mentioned I also hate highway driving?!

I can totally use a month's pay. Can you mail it to me? LOL

amother

Mint

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 2:21 pm

It sounds so difficult, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but personally as a woman I would only try to stop, if I was able to & didn't have circumstances where I was needed elsewhere - if it was on a side street & not a highway.

I know this isn't politically correct but I don't care, it's dangerous & if it were me in that situation I would try to contact as you had chaveirim - I'm so sorry they weren't able to, I thought that this was their area of help - or if there were male relatives or friends who could try to help.

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 11:03 pm

OP I am so sorry you had this experience. Sending you hugs.
I would stop , if I could. But I do realize that stopping on a highway can be difficult to impossible. Also is it possible that cars driving by didn’t even have time to notice you crying , your child etc since highway speeds are fast.
I had two experiences that your story brought to mind : 1. My car died on a busy highway , I was alone (and pregnant! ), in a frum area. No one stopped.
2. My car ran into a pole (I was not the driver ) on a quiet slow suburban road. While standing on the side of the road waiting for the tow truck and drinking a bottle of water I had on me , multiple cars stopped to ask if we needed help. We were clearly fine , and had water , and I was on my phone so it clearly worked. And even so , many many people stopped. It was heartwarming.
My conclusion for what it’s worth : in the first scenario people driving on a highway simply didn’t have enough time to see my situation and /or stop.
Hope this helps you heal. Sending hugs.