Are so many people really that rich? What am I doing wrong?

amother

Steel

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 9:19 pm

I dunno I shop the clearance and sales at kidichic and tottini and when I bh paid for some full price items this season it really added up k"h.

I've realized that matching your kids is a luxury, and is way way more expensive than non-matching.

Matching you need to buy full price beginning of season and new each season so they can match.

Non matching and u can pick up sales here and there, fill in with hand me downs and gemachs, wear what fits from last year, etc. It's kind of beyond nuts I can't fathom where this matching thing came from.

It looks really beautiful, I wish it wasnt so much of a pressure in town since it's tremendously more expensive

amother

DarkGray

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 9:22 pm

Op we have a decent amount in investments, own our home with no mortgage, and ok paying jobs and a small family relative for Lakewood standards and I feel the same way as you. I don’t understand it. I guess it’s common to be making 400k plus! Good for them! I hope Hashem shares the wealth with me and you as well

amother

Magnolia

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 9:23 pm

amother Steel wrote:

I've bought matching weekday from kmw- I'm pretty sure I paid less then 30 dollars per dress and definitely didn't buy all at the beginning of the season. bought as I needed.. the dresses are also super comfy, my kids love them and don't care if they wear the same dress in different sizes as they grow. I don't even make it a point to buy matching, just bought what they had and then my kids decided to wear it at the same time.

here's a link to one of them
https://kalmodestwear.com/coll.....80286
they still have most sizes in this dress and it's on sale. I also got the adult size shirt for my older daughter which she likes to wear matching with her younger sisters.

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 9:27 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

There are plenty of people who do both. They pay tuition and they also buy all these high end clothing and shoes.

But why has this become a norm for EVERYBODY?

And btw, 175 shoes don't last THAT much longer than 80 dollar shoes. (I'm not talking about the wal mart special).

And even if they do, it's become very unpopular to wear things again the next season. Hence threads about young women with 18 Shabbos dresses because every season we have to buy 3 more even if the old ones have lasted...

It's such bal tashchis, the amount of clothing that is going to waste.

So I'd rather cheaper shoes that last the season and get worn out and I can throw out if my teenagers would want fresh ones the next year.

bsy

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 9:28 pm

amother Mulberry wrote:

I think I can explain somewhat.
A few of my friends work off the books, so they get food stamps and wic. They aren’t spending any money on groceries. Instead, they go out to eat and shop the stores .
Also, a have more friends where the grandparents buy the coats and a yom tov outfit for each child ( myself included bh)
Lastly, some kollels in Lakewood give certificates to the Jewish stores for the avreichim kids.
And there will always be people who put it on the credit card and hope to pay it off soon. I’m not defending that, I’m just stating the reality.
Btw, we have a chasidish neighbor who buys designer matching outfits for her kids , but only buys like 3 outfits per kid , per season. She would rather wash more than buy 15 cheap things for the same price.

I get cards from my husband's kollel. I either use it to buy uniforms/tzitzis etc (things that never go on sale) or sale items in the stores so I get more for my money. If I used them to buy full price clothes, each kids would get only one thing.

amother

DarkCyan

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 9:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

Part of the issue is, in my community, that more and more stores stopped bringing in cheaper lines and only carry expensive brands. People that want cheaper brands are looked at as "nebs".

This is the only issue I have: I’m happy for people to buy moose knuckles for toddlers and Gucci for babies, but when it’ becomes more mainstream ( golden good 300$ sneakers?) stores lose the interest in carrying cheaper brands and more importantly- the Jewish brands have gone way up in price because they can! And those brands (crew/klai/ pompomme etc) are ones I rely on for tznius. There’s not one dress under 100$ for shabbos or 80$ for weekday in the store I went to today, for toddlers, not the fancy stuff. I do better buying designer on sale sometimes.

I will say Lil leggs is mostly the exception and bh for them!

giftedmom

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 9:48 pm

Cheiny wrote:

I haven’t seen that.

I see people buying armloads of plain cotton t shirts for $90 each, and Shabbos dresses for hundreds each, like they’re water.

Fun fact. Most of these are available as knockoffs on AliExpress. I just got some for my fashion conscious kid.

bsy

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:00 pm

amother DarkCyan wrote:

I find lil leggs very expensive for me. A 50 dollar weekday dress is not cheap. I only shop sales at cheaper stores to begin with, like designer's spot and kidichic.

amother

DarkCyan

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:02 pm

amother Mulberry wrote:

If you want moderately priced nice clothes, either do tottini and kidichic or zara and h and m

I do Zara and hm when it’s not a tznius issue. Tottini and kidichic are not really an option for me becuase of the narrower fit. I’ll sometimes be able to get one thing there a season (skirt or robe) but not really outfits.

Also, gets much harder the older the kid is, when they hit 8 till they are in women’s sizes I find it’s very hard to shop not Jewish. I went with my 12 year old niece and the prices were same or higher than the nice women’s stuff stores sell it’s outrageous (180-300$ outfits for shabbos)

amother

DarkCyan

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:05 pm

bsy wrote:

I find lil leggs very expensive for me. A 50 dollar weekday dress is not cheap. I only shop sales at cheaper stores to begin with, like designer's spot and kidichic.

43$ for a weekday dress is just a bit more than Zara. I find it fair but ofcourse it’s relative. I also like to shop at the designer spot though they also went up in price…

I buy the minimum at the start of the season then fill in by sales. But the starting point for everything went up…

amother

Mulberry

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:06 pm

amother DarkCyan wrote:

Why is an 8 year old in women sizes?
And kidichic has plenty of baggy dresses this season…

amother

Sunflower

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:06 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

One of my best friends wears thousands of dollars of outfits every day. She also rented a house for years and years once she got married (eventually divorced but another story) she had the money to own a house. She had the money to do whatever she wanted and she spent it on clothing instead of saving it and buying a home. IyH I'm looking into an apartment in Israel and not a soul would be able to tell by looking at me.

Good for you! Smile

amother

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:08 pm

amother DarkCyan wrote:

This is what I mentioned upthread. Local frum stores stopped carrying cheaper brands and bring in more and more very high end brands. And people grab as if it's being given away for free.
The cheapest winter coat I saw in local stores is $109. Local stores used to carry a line of $50-$60 coats, not anymore.

bsy

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:08 pm

amother DarkCyan wrote:

I buy at the end of the season for the next year or whenever things are on sale. I don't need things to be the latest styles. A couple years old is fine for me. I just can't justify spending so much money on clothes. I assume as my kids get older and more opinionated, I may have to buy something more expensive. But for me to do it for them when they don't care, I just can't.

amother

DarkCyan

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:09 pm

amother Mulberry wrote:

Why is an 8 year old in women sizes?
And kidichic has plenty of baggy dresses this season…

I meant age 8- through women’s sizes (when ime it gets easier to find things in regular stores)

amother

Mulberry

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

Cozy coup is $90 I think ( still expensive)
For coats you can always order online bec no tznius issue there

amother

DarkCyan

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 10:13 pm

bsy wrote:

I’m not geshikt enough for sales a year ahead or Ali, spent too much money on things that didn’t fit for it to make sense.

I also find having very little works better for me- I buy a few things and then 1/2 more sale time and my kids have 5ish weekday things for the season. Im just finding the price for the basics going up and up every year.

Like the most expensive coat in the store (pramie) used to be 130? Ish. Now they don’t have a coat under 100. I got my kids appaman on sale for a great price last year bh:) but I think as a community it’s bizzare that we are feeding into this.