How to help dd (trauma)

amother

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 11:37 pm

When 2 y.o dd sees a bee she screams in a very scary way. Howling. She sounds so traumatized I don't recognize her. Sometimes in middle of the night she'll screech like that and we all wake up and she says a bee!
We tried reading cute books abt bees,and watching videos. She's fine then. But she still reacts this way.
She doesn't want to play outside because of this.
Yes she was once stung.
How can I help her?

amother

Peony

Wed, Sep 13 2023, 4:28 am

Poor kid!! Sad

My dd was scared to go into our yard when she was about 5 or 6 because of bees. I read that you can spray them with vinegar to scare them away. (or kill them? not sure) So she begged me to go out and spray before she'd go out and she also brought the spray bottle of vinegar out with her just in case. But I'm not sure if a 2 yo would understand enough for this to help. Maybe worth a shot? She wasn't allergic to the sting, right? That could be VERY scary! Good luck!

WhatFor

Wed, Sep 13 2023, 7:15 am

oneofakind wrote:

Give her a fly swatter and show her how to use it, inside and outside the house.

I wouldn't recommend swatting a bee. The best thing you can do if you see a bee is stay calm and don't do anything to upset it, which obviously won't help a toddler. But antagonizing a bee significantly increases your chance of a sting.

amother

Glitter

Wed, Sep 13 2023, 11:58 am

My daughter had a similar phobia at that age (maybe even a bit before age 2). I spoke with a play therapist, and she suggested telling her social stories and doing play therapy with her (acting it out with dolls, menchies, etc.) over and over. I found the social stories to help a LOT, B"H. The key for that age is to keep it very simple, the same each time, tell it over and over in a happy voice.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Chani (not her name) who was afraid of bees. She got stung one time and it hurt, so she was scared. One day, her mommy said to her, "Chani, bees are not scary. Bees are cute! When you see a bee, say "Hello, cute bee!"" So Chani tried it. The next day, she saw a bee. At first she was scared. Then she said "Hello, cute bee!" and the bee buzzed happily away. ETc. etc. And then, Chani wasn't afraid of bees anymore! She knew they were cute!

Something like that. I'm telling you, it worked like magic on my daughter. Tell it over and over again while cuddling with her, playing with her...

mushkamothers

Wed, Sep 13 2023, 1:28 pm

My 2.5 year old just got 4 stings at the same time just the other week. He was hysterical. (So was the 6 year old who also got stung, but he understood it) we talked it through a looot. Told the same story over and over.

Similar to the social story written above but much more honest. I explained that they stepped into a hive. The bees felt threatened. They stung them, lost their stinger and died etc. Went thru the whole story of how they came screaming into the house. What we did etc.

Simply saying "this bee is cute and is your friend" is both dishonest and not true of their experience. You need to really label their fears. You were afraid. It hurt so much. You did not want to be stung.

Whatever you say, she's already thinking it. You're not planting negative memories in your brain. You're giving her words for the sensations so she can process what happened.

Now when he yells bee I either say, that's a fly or when it was a bee, I walk him through: are we bothering it. Will he bother us. The bee doesn't want to sting you.

I also say, I won't let the bee sting you, mommy protects you - bc in fact that's not what happened and that's what he wants to hear, that I can somehow shield and protect him from the world. So just to ease that anxiety.

Dan siegel discusses this at length in his books

I stopped and showed them a bee on flowers the other day and a beehive at the zoo. Not running away from the bees. We read a book about bees that happened to have in the house