Bathroom etiquette Teaching DS without shaming

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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thegiver

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 12:27 am

Ds always leaks all over the bathroom. It is sooo gross. And he also leaves stains on the toilet seat. Any time I mention anything to him (gently, privately) he denies it vehemently. And guess who’s left cleaning it up?

I know my Dh should be the one teaching him but surely there’s another way. Ds not positioning himself right on the toilet so it’s getting everywhere. Sorry as a woman I know nothing about this…

How do you teach the boy how to stay clean in the toilet?! How do you teach your kids anything without policing them all the time! Clean your own messes!!!!!!!!!!! Floor dish clothes into hamper dropped something pick it up. Played with something put it back. So draining. Don’t want to lash out at this kid but I keep repeating myself. Why does he make me into the annoying nagging one when it’s his fault I have to keep repeating instructions. When do they grow upppppppp

smss

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 12:33 am

How old is he?

amother

Cobalt

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 12:40 am

Please please teach him. You don’t have to put up a fight, but teach him to recognize a mess and clean it if he happens to make one.

DH does not like to have my adult brother over because he leaves such a mess. He was never taught to clean up after himself Can't Believe It

thegiver

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 12:42 am

amother

Caramel

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 1:49 am

my ds also gets the bathroom all gross. I thought that is normal for boys?
I keep trying to tell him to make sure to aim right and he says he does but he leaves it such a mess...
I am constantly cleaning the bathroom.
Sometimes he actually will wipe it up after himself, like if it's on the back of the toilet he takes tissues to wipe it up, but I would much rather he doesn't cause it to happen alltogether!

amother

Fern

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 1:57 am

Can you ask him to always sit

amother

Firethorn

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 3:20 am

amother Fern wrote:

Can you ask him to always sit

Trust me, they refuse to do that at this age...

amother

Maroon

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 3:32 am

My ds 9 is not perfect. But he has gotten better.
If I ever saw a mess he left behind I took him there to show him. Sheepishly, he admitted, yuck.
I noticed he started wiping the seat if he drips.
You can even go a step further and hand him some lysol wipes to clean with.

Golde

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 3:39 am

thegiver wrote:

For an 8 year old I believe you can get some sort of sticker/toy to aim for in the toilet. To make the training more into a game. Not sure where you'd buy it, but Google it.
At 8 you can still train him to point in the right direction. Do it now before he gets older and it gets more awkward.

Otherwise I totally get you! I also have an 8 year old and it's nag nag nag the whole time and I really don't want to.

amother

Mocha

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 6:16 am

thegiver wrote:

When you see him coming out of the bathroom, walk with him together back in there and together take a look at the mess. At that point you can choose to have him clean it or clean it yourself but either way you get past the denial. Then work on the problem

Raindance

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 7:52 am

My husbands aunt would put a cheerio in the bowl to be used as a target.

As the others have said, show him where it is and (at a non threatening time) tell him that women and girls need to sit. How would he feel to sit down on someone else's pee (or if he needs #2, would he like it)?

Tell him that part of being responsible and big is to stand for your actions and clean up after yourself. You can even do a sticker chart with a prize.

Also make it easier to clean up, keep cleaning agent in his reach or show him to use wipes.

Convince your husband to teach him how to hold right and aim right, this is exactly what the words 'parenting' and 'raising' mean. Really break it down for ds.

If your dh is not willing to do it, then it's your job, so vital information such as:
standing close to the toilet, (so that he can pee downwards as opposed to a rainbow)
hold the base of his privates as opposed to the tip (better halachikly and so the leftover foreskin does not get pulled forwards to make dribbles or pees on hand) and
lean over the seat for the last drips (so it does not get on the seat, well... at least less).

If after all of that there is spillage, take tissue/wipe/spritzer and clean up.

Congratulations, you are raising a mensch.

amother

Pansy

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:19 am

Golde wrote:

https://us.shein.com/1pc-Sloga......html

I'm not sure whether this one is intended for training or if it's meant for using the bathroom in the dark.

amother

Garnet

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 9:09 am

Raindance wrote:

toilet training my first boy and this was helpful. How do they wipe?

amother

Firethorn

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 10:03 am

amother Garnet wrote:

toilet training my first boy and this was helpful. How do they wipe?

At this age, you wipe...

amother

Canary

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 11:00 am

I have 4 DS's and couldn't be sure who the culprit was, although I had my suspicions. I cleaned it up while making sure that the boys heard me comment "this bathroom is really gross"

amother

Lilac

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 11:02 am

If it's hard for him to control then have him clean up. My son is 7 and he has learned to clean up after himself.

thegiver

Fri, Sep 15 2023, 1:35 am

He will deny it was him. “It was there before I got in there”

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