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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

FTM Vent

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amother

Lime

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 10:53 pm

This is life with a newborn appreciate the fact that you are by your mom

It will get easier too with time

amother

Red

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 11:04 pm

It is hard and every day/night seems forever...it will get easier and your baby will soon get into a pattern. Anywhere from 6 weeks to three months. It won't last forever..

tichellady

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 11:24 pm

It’s so hard! It’s normal to hate the lack of sleep

amother

Birch

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 11:37 pm

It took me a year to feel normal again.
Having a newborn is really, really hard!! And your baby is still so tiny - the days and nights are just one big blur of feeding and crying.
It really does get easier. In a few weeks your baby will settle into a schedule making life so much more manageable.

amother

Phlox

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 11:47 pm

I'm the type that can't function without sleep. I don't need food, I need sleep.
What can I say? You sort of get used to waking every 2-3 hours even though it's still tough.
My baby is 8 weeks old, bottle fed only. I don't see that the formula is giving him longer stretches.
If anything my nursing babies gave me longer stretches and night feedings were easier because I can nurse with my eyes closed, no worrying that the bottle is tilted or empty and he's sucking air.
I'm sure you're grateful that your Mom took the baby the first week (I'm jealous lol!) and now you can appreciate it even more.
It's your first, so no others to wake up to in the morning or care for during the day. So sleep sleep sleep as much as you can during the day. It makes a difference.
Mazel tov!

amother

Poppy

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:00 am

Firsts are hard and so is lack of sleep.

I found my babies settled down at around 6 weeks and while I still had to wake up with them at least they often went back to sleep and didn't decide it was the middle of the day.

amother

Steelblue

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:32 am

It’s normal for it to feel so upsetting that you have to wake up multiple times at night to feed and change a crying baby. It’s a crazy thing to do, it always blows my mind how hard having a newborn is and yet someone did it for each of the eight billion residents of this planet.

Don’t feel guilty - the fact that you waited for it and wanted it doesn’t make it any less hard. You just went through birth and it would make sense for you to just sleep and relax for the next few weeks to recover but instead you have a 24/7 job with a boss who can’t communicate what it wants to you and just screams at you to figure it out lol. Motherhood is torturous sometimes.

It really will get easier. At some point this baby will become capable of putting pajamas on and putting themselves to sleep and sleeping through the night all on their own! And it gets easier even just after eight weeks usually.

Let yourself feel what you feel and know that it will get better.

I think you said you’re doing formula - your husband should definitely do a feed or two at night then!

I posted so many threads on imamother when I had my first - the shift was so hard I needed the support of other women who had been through it.

synthy

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:53 am

Welcome to motherhood! With my was so sleep deprived that I would shut down for around 5 minutes and couldn’t open my eyes, even though I was only half asleep and could hear the baby crying.
These first few weeks are brutal, but I find that by 6 weeks they generally start skipping a feeding at night and give you a 4-6 hour stretch.
Also I know it’s not safe and I shouldn’t be giving this advice, but I would cosleep for the first month. It was the only way my babies slept at all…

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:54 am

First baby is extra HARD!!
I’m up at night with my newborn too! We can shmooze here😛😛😛😛😛

amother

Bluebell

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 1:01 am

The adjustment from 0 to 1 baby is so extreme and I only have hazy confused memories of staggering around my house for 6 weeks after the birth of my first. It felt like I was in a constant cycle of feeding her and putting her down with only minutes in between. She was preemie, but it was so so hard. You have my full sympathies.
I have two pieces of advice:
Always always remember that it WILL GET BETTER. Babies come with so many stages that can feel like this is your whole life just stuck in that moment, but they are so fleeting in the big picture. I usually find that by 3 months I feel so much better and the newborn-ish stage is starting to pass a bit. So keep your eyes on a 3-month mark, and know, KNOW, that it will get better.
Two, be kind to yourself. Let yourself feel, and be kind to yourself. It is hard. I'm not talking about a pity party "woe is me". I mean, just self-talk in a kind way. "Wow I'm really tired" "It's okay to be tired" "This is hard but so worth it".
You can do it.

amother

Peachpuff

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 6:22 am

Newborns are super hard! It gets easier and better with time. Its not easy!

amother

DarkCyan

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 9:14 am

You're not alone. It is really difficult. Especially as things always seem worse when you have little sleep, so it feels ever worse.
It's a major adjustment to life when you have a baby. You go from being adults to adults with this tiny baby who keeps crying and is dependent on you for everything.
I found every day was eternity. And it was like there was a fog, but I only realized at around 3 months. After that I started feeling more normal.
If you think about it, it took 9 months to create this baby, you need to give at least the same time to recover.

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