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amother
RosePink
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 Thu, Oct 05 2023, 3:53 am
| amother OP wrote: | The biggest mess in my life is my brain.
My house used to be embarrasingly messy, but with enough cleaning help its more or less under control now.
My schedule is usually a mess. Im always last minute with everything, and I constantly forget what I need to do next.
My work (im a creative) is always perfect. But meeting my deadlines is usually when things get messy.
My desk is always a huge mess.
Im very neat in the way I present myself, and the way my kids are dressed. |
I could have written this word for word!
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amother
RosePink
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 3:57 am
Wow I've been on imamother for a long time and never read such a validating thread. If you met me on the street or know me professionally you'd think I have it all together, and I do really NEED my house to be clean and orderly but its just so hard to maintain. I work in a creative field and thank G-d very successful, I'd so much rather focus on that then clean my house all day- but thats how long it takes me!
No one throw tomatoes, but I took a tiny bit of one of my kids adhd meds before YT and had the best day of my life.
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amother
Red
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 4:01 am
| amother RosePink wrote: | Wow I've been on imamother for a long time and never read such a validating thread. If you met me on the street or know me professionally you'd think I have it all together, and I do really NEED my house to be clean and orderly but its just so hard to maintain. I work in a creative field and thank G-d very successful, I'd so much rather focus on that then clean my house all day- but thats how long it takes me!
No one throw tomatoes, but I took a tiny bit of one of my kids adhd meds before YT and had the best day of my life. |
Fellow ADHDer here!
Which medication?
I really really want to take meds but I'm terrified!
ETA really curious how did the meds make you feel?
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amother
Red
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 4:05 am
Can we make a support group?
The worst part is that dh and I don't do well mentally with mess and clutter. And that is my house!
I am clean to a fault but I can't keep the clutter under control.
When I hear someone is coming by I clear up like a mad woman and my house is spotless. Dh loves when that happens.
Sometimes if I have an embarrassing situation that someone saw the mess I will clean up after. As if they'll see it...
Many times I'll be nervous and irate with my kids cause the mess overwhelms me. I feel so bad after.
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amother
Gray
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 4:16 am
Are you a "slob" or are you really overwhelmed?
I also feel like this and think it could be ADD/ADHD related...
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amother
RosePink
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 5:35 am
| amother Red wrote: | Fellow ADHDer here!
Which medication?
I really really want to take meds but I'm terrified!
ETA really curious how did the meds make you feel? |
I took half of a ten mg attent. Really small dose. I just felt more focused, the kitchen practically cleaned itself, I finished my work super fast ( I work from home) ran a bunch of errands, prepared dinner and I didn't feel drained or worn out, it just felt easy!
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amother
Alyssum
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 5:56 am
| amother Maple wrote: | Lol.
The sight of clutter makes me scatterbrained but I struggle with the upkeep/focus/and routine.
I self diagnosed myself with Adhd and/or Add.
Im incredibly last minute, shabbos prep is always done on friday until zman. |
I’m looking at myself in the mirror now..
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dankbar
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 6:08 am
Trauma or stress can mimic Adhd symptoms where it affects pre fontal cortex, which is reponsible for executive functioning.
Perfectionist, with voices of not being good enough, or fear of failure, can lead to procrastination, like if you cant do it perfectly then you delay or have a hard time initiating the task altogether.
Both Adhd and OCD have lots of thoughts. ADHD has racing thoughts that can clutter the brain, then OCD can present in recurring thoughts in head which clutters the brain, doesnt akways manifest in handwashing 100 lx or checking door many times, just you can have some reoeated thought that if you dont tackle those thoughts it creates on anxiety.
Add can present itself in not focusing but also hyper fixating and obsessing. Something that you enjoy, you can sit hours with, and nake sure it's perfect, unlike stuff you dont enjoy, like monotous chores.
Sometimes focusing on the fun stuff is a distraction of doing the routine stuff, because it's more exciting than doing the boring stuff.
Adhd comes along with a deficiency in prioritizing.
For some people if they keep delaying, they get adrenaline only last minute when they get pressured, otherwise they dont bother.
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amother
Brickred
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 7:40 am
| dankbar wrote: | Trauma or stress can mimic Adhd symptoms where it affects pre fontal cortex, which is reponsible for executive functioning.
Perfectionist, with voices of not being good enough, or fear of failure, can lead to procrastination, like if you cant do it perfectly then you delay or have a hard time initiating the task altogether.
Both Adhd and OCD have lots of thoughts. ADHD has racing thoughts that can clutter the brain, then OCD can present in recurring thoughts in head which clutters the brain, doesnt akways manifest in handwashing 100 lx or checking door many times, just you can have some reoeated thought that if you dont tackle those thoughts it creates on anxiety.
Add can present itself in not focusing but also hyper fixating and obsessing. Something that you enjoy, you can sit hours with, and nake sure it's perfect, unlike stuff you dont enjoy, like monotous chores.
Sometimes focusing on the fun stuff is a distraction of doing the routine stuff, because it's more exciting than doing the boring stuff.
Adhd comes along with a deficiency in prioritizing.
For some people if they keep delaying, they get adrenaline only last minute when they get pressured, otherwise they dont bother. |
Ive never been doagnosed w adhd but am convinced I have it. Without adrenaline I cant focuscand it only cimes when im under severe pressure.
What can I do to hekp jt?
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amother
Ultramarine
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:24 am
| dankbar wrote: | Trauma or stress can mimic Adhd symptoms where it affects pre fontal cortex, which is reponsible for executive functioning.
Perfectionist, with voices of not being good enough, or fear of failure, can lead to procrastination, like if you cant do it perfectly then you delay or have a hard time initiating the task altogether.
Both Adhd and OCD have lots of thoughts. ADHD has racing thoughts that can clutter the brain, then OCD can present in recurring thoughts in head which clutters the brain, doesnt akways manifest in handwashing 100 lx or checking door many times, just you can have some reoeated thought that if you dont tackle those thoughts it creates on anxiety.
Add can present itself in not focusing but also hyper fixating and obsessing. Something that you enjoy, you can sit hours with, and nake sure it's perfect, unlike stuff you dont enjoy, like monotous chores.
Sometimes focusing on the fun stuff is a distraction of doing the routine stuff, because it's more exciting than doing the boring stuff.
Adhd comes along with a deficiency in prioritizing.
For some people if they keep delaying, they get adrenaline only last minute when they get pressured, otherwise they dont bother. |
This exactly. Thank you
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amother
Apple
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:14 pm
| dankbar wrote: | Trauma or stress can mimic Adhd symptoms where it affects pre fontal cortex, which is reponsible for executive functioning.
Perfectionist, with voices of not being good enough, or fear of failure, can lead to procrastination, like if you cant do it perfectly then you delay or have a hard time initiating the task altogether.
Both Adhd and OCD have lots of thoughts. ADHD has racing thoughts that can clutter the brain, then OCD can present in recurring thoughts in head which clutters the brain, doesnt akways manifest in handwashing 100 lx or checking door many times, just you can have some reoeated thought that if you dont tackle those thoughts it creates on anxiety.
Add can present itself in not focusing but also hyper fixating and obsessing. Something that you enjoy, you can sit hours with, and nake sure it's perfect, unlike stuff you dont enjoy, like monotous chores.
Sometimes focusing on the fun stuff is a distraction of doing the routine stuff, because it's more exciting than doing the boring stuff.
Adhd comes along with a deficiency in prioritizing.
For some people if they keep delaying, they get adrenaline only last minute when they get pressured, otherwise they dont bother. |
This makes sense to me, but bottom line how can I help myself????
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amother
Red
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:17 pm
| amother RosePink wrote: | | I took half of a ten mg attent. Really small dose. I just felt more focused, the kitchen practically cleaned itself, I finished my work super fast ( I work from home) ran a bunch of errands, prepared dinner and I didn't feel drained or worn out, it just felt easy! |
Sounds so tempting!
You wouldn't take meds?
I always think why are we fine giving it to our kids (2 of mine are on) but afraid to take it ourselves?
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amother
OP
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:29 pm
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Im surprised there are so many of us out there! I know one more person like me, but I didnt know so many more of us existed.
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amother
Goldenrod
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:45 pm
| amother OP wrote: | The biggest mess in my life is my brain.
My house used to be embarrasingly messy, but with enough cleaning help its more or less under control now.
My schedule is usually a mess. Im always last minute with everything, and I constantly forget what I need to do next.
My work (im a creative) is always perfect. But meeting my deadlines is usually when things get messy.
My desk is always a huge mess.
Im very neat in the way I present myself, and the way my kids are dressed. |
You must be me. Like exactly
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amother
Impatiens
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:56 pm
| amother Red wrote: | Sounds so tempting!
You wouldn't take meds?
I always think why are we fine giving it to our kids (2 of mine are on) but afraid to take it ourselves? |
Isn’t attent meds?
Is it over the counter?
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amother
Oleander
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:56 pm
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amother
Birch
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 2:07 pm
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Wow this is so validating. I also diagnosed myself with adhd. The only difference I see between myself and some of you is that I am not a creative at all. So there’s nowhere in my life where I feel successful. But I always look put together and so do my kids. But I struggle terribly with executive function etc.. mess overwhelms me terribly but I lack the skills to organize it so I end up staying in my room (which is also a mess) procrastinating. And yes I’m a perfectionist and push off tasks cuz I know I can’t do them perfectly. Wow so much more to say!!
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amother
Maple
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 9:57 pm
Ok tips
What works for to stay in control.
For me what works great
Sort mail and throw out the junk before it comes into the house.
Buy only what u need to avoid clutter build-up( easier said than done)
Minimal furniture
Only buy amount of clothing u really could use
Anyone have what to share that works for them
Kitchen management especially
Thanks
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amother
Honey
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Thu, Oct 05 2023, 10:30 pm
I am also like this.
I did construction I couldn’t find the perfect furniture (right price, look, and quality) so a year later still no nightstand. Bh for deadlines or else I would still be looking for tiles.
I do tons of research before I buy something and then forget about one detail so it’s not perfect and I eat myself up.
I wish I would have a fulfilling job. I feel like I have so much to contribute; I am quite smart but I don’t go after anything because I’m not perfect.
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