Travelling for simchas and leaving children behind.

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amother

Stoneblue

Tue, Nov 14 2023, 9:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

My husband is one of the younger ones in his family. I haven’t yet started marrying off children but I would so understand those that cannot come from abroad.

Abroad is very different then OOT.
It's quite common for just 1 spouse to travel abroad for weddings.

amother

Currant

Tue, Nov 14 2023, 9:58 pm

Can you bring the kids too? Are you close with your siblings and their children?

amother

Yolk

Tue, Nov 14 2023, 10:11 pm

I live in one of those far overseas communities, in large families it’s very rare for even all the aunts and uncles to fly in for weddings, for sure not with their spouses for every wedding.

My husband has 3 married nieces, a long plane ride away. He was able to go to 2 of the weddings, he was the only uncle/aunt to fly in because it’s really important to us to celebrate each others simchas and be there for family.
(Others live in that country as well).

If there will be iyh lots of weddings over the next few years maybe he can go and take a different child each time.

amother

Lemonlime

Tue, Nov 14 2023, 11:41 pm

Thanks for clarifying OP, it’s a totally different scenario when your flying out for a wedding. Obviously it is totally understandable and acceptable for you to stay behind, and it’s nice that your DH was even able to go in the first place

I missed my own SILs wedding because it was a plane ride away and I had to stay home with the kids

amother

DarkRed

Tue, Nov 14 2023, 11:45 pm

I also want to point out for anyone reading this, a lot of times flying for a wedding means missing one or two days of work. That's a big "expense" aside for the price of the plane ticket
Just putting that out there for people who don't always understand the hardships of coming in for simchos

essie14

Wed, Nov 15 2023, 12:25 am

DH and I have a policy that we don't leave the country together without the kids.
So one of us always stays at home if the other has to go overseas or we take the kids under 18.

Neither DH nor I come from big families so we do make the effort to attend the smachot but I have a lot of friends who do and they rarely attend smachot together.

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Nov 15 2023, 12:37 am

Op, you do what works for you. Of course ideally you should make the effort but if you're sacrificing your kids, maybe in a few years you'll be able to leave them home & then you'll start going more often.

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