Aliyah soon-3 month iyH: help with location

rrlavona

Thu, Nov 16 2023, 6:48 pm

Hello,

I am a long time reader first time poster.

I am a widow, but recently remarried and divorced after only 18 months of marriage (!hacol letova!). I have a 7 year old boy who although sings the Torah day and night and loves all things Torah BH (literally ke"h), is also finishing a 3 year+ diagnosis for autism -asperger's they have deemed- and dyspraxia and dyslexia at the moment (we're in Europe) and thus has difficulties at school and is bullied, severely. I mention all of this as consideration for the question I truly need help with when making aliyah soon. At the moment I am considering (or I was until reading several posts) three options in this order: Or HaGanouz, Nehariyya or Tzfat. My son wants Yerushalaïm, bless him, but I went to seminary there and I feel I need more calm in my life than that which one gets in the city of fire. My question is, considering the following factors:
1. my son's needs (a companion to be at school with him for his social skills are inadequate and lead to serious bullying, and also he gets distracted so easily due to the dyspraxia);
2. My needs to not be in a non-stop buzzing city and have at least some nature (a need, I have a huge garden here and am surrounded by forest and farms, not that I need that much, but some green please Hashem);
3. My son's désire to be in a Torah school (as in, mostly -or his words, "only"- Kodesh). Yet he loves medicine and engineering and so I would want the cheder to also do maths, but if not possible I would get a tutor for this after school, as school here goes from 0800 to 1700 anyway.
4. My limited wage of about 2.6k/month. (We would be buying a home there, iyH, but not before having lived somewhere a year to get a better understanding of where and what I wish to buy). Apparently the government also gives money to help single mothers and children with diagnoses, so this could increase to 3k/month, I am not sure.
5. Lastly but definitely not leastly, Hashkafa and realistic situation. We are orthodox, coming from a modern orthodox family, I went to a chabad seminary just for fun for three months, then a Litvish seminary for actual seminary studies. My family Hashkafa follows teachings of the Vilna Gaon, Chofetz Chaim and that Chazon Ish, but I, going against their wishes, married into chassidish. I am as previously stated, a single mother now, free to be who I want to be, and I would say that I am now a mix of my family with leanings of great appreciation for chassidique teachings and rebbes, so I dress most like a chassidishe lady/formal litvish with extra tights as I like them, they're me (I wear palm tights 60d non seams for example) I wear a sheitel, uncovered sheitel. My son will battle to high heaven for me to not touch his payos, so he has payos, but above his chin. And most importantly I am a single mother and I am also civily educated as well (law degrees and science pol and worked for the government ministry at one stage before ds). In regards to phones, I dislike smartphones in general so it would not be an issue if I had to not use one, it would more be the internet at home as I need that as a single mum doing law working from home and I won't lie and say I don't have internet at home on a school form.

All this is in consideration for schools for my son, and areas where being a single mum is acceptable somewhat.

So, the options I need help with are:
A. Or HaGanouz, it has been suggested to me by a mum in shul who is here for a bit due to the war and who made aliyah ten years ago and who sees who I am and my son and thinks it could be a great fit. How to get in is another question;

B. Nehariya, as I love nature, I love water, they seem to have some Torah Schools there (?), and that's about it besides me wanting to live in the north;

C. Tzfat, for reasons of nature near by, and it is close to a friend, and also that friend has a friend who works in a horse riding therapy school (my son does that presently) there, and I've read and been encouraged by a rebbetzin here that the community is welcoming. There is a breslev cheder I have read about there where not all kids are breslev families and that they are welcoming to single mothers. Not sure. Any advice would be great. The Loubavitch school was also recommended, and I would probably want to know if all families who send there kids there were loubavitch, and also if I did that would it impeed on possible yeshiva opportunités, and also to know about possibly mashichistic ideologies (quite concerning for my family and me if that were the push in the establishment).
We are Lubavitch friendly, as in have great respect for the Loubavitch Rebbes and their teachings and are grateful for the endless tireless work the shluchim do, but we are not loubavitch.

I have read posts on tzfat, so I am aware of the strange people that can be there too. I live in Europe, and it's definitely not worse than here, definitely. We have drunk midget men chewing straw coming and asking for lifts to by alcohol and cigarettes on shabbos and also coming to call my son a "Jewish a*hole". He has been physically and verbally agressed several times and has a real issue with non jews because of this. I can tell all members of Imamother that Tzfat would be a thousand times better than what we are currently living with here. Everything is relative, and Tzfats druggo weirdos have nothing on Europe's.

I do not wish to live in beth shemesh also. I would consider Yerushalaïm or Bnei Brak for the pleasure of my son. I will be working from home so am flexible BH, but I would prefer nature, so Yerushalaïm maybe in a nicer suburb.

I have had the privelege of living in Israel: Yerushalaïm, netanya, beth shemesh, and of traveling extensively BH during my time there. I was thinking of Aliyah for ten years, but now is time. We are nearly finished the process and have the house on sale and the transport companies on wait for our final location. When I have my interview with the helping lady at the Jewish agency I hope to give some firmer ideas for where we would like our goods shipped to.

If you have some ideas I would be so grateful. I know it was a large post, but it is a big decision and I wished to detail as much as possible.

Thank you!

A fellow mum