Help - reducing night feeds

amother

Slategray

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 8:32 pm

OP, if your baby sleeps in your room, try moving baby out of your room & your husband should go to baby in the night instead of you. You can also try to give a paci. (If baby doesn't take one already & you don't mind giving now.)
Hugs & luck! Don't let naysayers pull you down about it. You should do what you need to do.

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:11 pm

amother Sienna wrote:

What sort of trusted advice? Don’t do this it’s cruel to a baby. They smell you and it’s normal and natural for you to nurse them. It’s so traumatic for the baby. They are under a year. Many babies wake up and nurse often at night, it’s so normal.Don’t do this, You will regret it.

Speak for yourself. I did it and I’m sure many other parents and I don’t regret it at all one bit. OP may not either.

(But yeah OP it is preferable if your husband can be the one rocking the baby. Key word being preferable. Not mandatory.)

amother

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:20 pm

amother Narcissus wrote:

What would happen if you did nothing? Would baby ever stop on his own?
Asking because my own 7 month old still wakes up every 2 hours at night and I thought more solid would help but I see for you it didn't

I'm not sure, I think in our case I thought he was hungry but it turns out -since he is only nursed to sleep and doesnt go to sleep by himself- he is waking up when his sleep gets light and needs to be put back to sleep... which we do through nursing. So for a while already his waking hasn't been because of hunger it seems! But can your baby self settle at bedtime/ naptine? If so, this may not apply!

amother

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:23 pm

amother Sienna wrote:

Yes, it’s very traumatic for the baby. 10 months is a baby still. Just feed your baby. You will regret this one day. Please don’t do that.

Thanks for your reply. Could you pkease share any more specific info/ details about what you mean by that and what King term effects could be? Thank you!

amother

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:24 pm

amother Sienna wrote:

Sleep training with crying causes trauma whether you realize it or not. My parents say the same thing your saying.
It causes trauma and it’s cruel.

Thanks for your reply. Could you pkease share any more specific info/ details about what you mean by that and what the effects of the trauma could be? Thank you!

amother

Sienna

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:25 pm

Op, I was in your shoes a few years back and I did what you did for that baby. I had good reasons like you but many babies later I have so much regret. They are a baby just once. 10 months is so small just nurse them. Nursing for comfort is a real need as well. Wait until they are at least a year at the very least.

amother

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:28 pm

And thank you everyone for your replies which I have read carefully and am thinking about. Yes it is always preferable to send I'm my dh but sometimes he may be at shul/ have to work late. But agreed- much better for baby when he can he there.

amother

Sienna

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for your reply. Could you pkease share any more specific info/ details about what you mean by that and what the effects of the trauma could be? Thank you!

When babies are under stress the cortisol levels rise in their brain. Brains exposed to elevated levels of cortisol can be changed or damaged. Attachment issue may arise. I would wait a few months to do this. A nursing baby in middle of the night crying to nurse for a few minutes is just sad. Nursing babies are biologically created to want their mother for comfort closeness and connection. That’s normal.
Many babies take in 25% of their caloric intake at night.
It’s really very normal for a nursing baby to want their mother to nurse in middle of the night. Go with your motherly instincts.

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for your reply. Could you pkease share any more specific info/ details about what you mean by that and what the effects of the trauma could be? Thank you!

I would be interested to know how anyone can pinpoint long term trauma directly due to being sleep trained as a 10 month old. And not even fully sleep trained...being held by a parent but not given numerous night feedings.

amother

Navyblue

Mon, Nov 20 2023, 6:56 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

My 2 year old still has a bottle or two at night. Wean them while you can. (For medical reasons we weren’t allowed to night wean her till she was 2, and it was too late then)

Why is it too late after age 2? Is there an age when it usually gets harder to night wean?

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Nov 20 2023, 9:14 pm

amother Sienna wrote:

This ain’t an opinion. There is research on this.

How would they do randomized testing on infants? How would they measure this?

By the nature of the parameters there is no way to do it "blind". Mom knows so she may act differently, change how she interacts with the baby...

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Nov 20 2023, 9:16 pm

amother Sienna wrote:

Lack of sleep can also raise cortisol levels. So can a number of things besides trauma. FYI

Plus how would you be able to determine long term effects? How would it be possible to isolate out this one difference in upbringing especially as it won't be blind?

- mother who has taken graduate level research courses...

amother

Chicory

Mon, Nov 20 2023, 9:31 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

Why is it too late after age 2? Is there an age when it usually gets harder to night wean?

She's a stubborn toddler and climbs out of her crib. Way easier to convince my 6 month old to go back to sleep with some butt pats or rocking than the 2 year old who's screaming "I want my baba! No! No cuddles! Only baba! Go get baba!" My oldest night weaned herself at 5 months so this was new territory for us