A hug from H-shem even from the small things...

amother

Crystal

Thu, Nov 23 2023, 9:13 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

There is a chazal that says

Tzadik v rah lo, Rasha v tov lo

In this world the tzadik suffers and the wicked have the good life.

The reasoning is Hashem punishes the tzadik in this world so he will get not get gehinom in the next world, and gives tzadik his reward in olam hahaha.

The Rasha gets all his reward for any good he did in this world, but gets full gehinom in the next world.

This is true.....except when it isn't. Meaning plenty of tzadikim have easy healthy lives without suffering and plenty of reshaim have terrible lives and suffer.

Also, this idea makes it difficult to have a relationship and rely on hashem. Is there anything that we can rely on hashem as our loving father that is unique to us? In essence, you're saying the opposite. Hashem will create difficulties and tzoros for us- because he loves us and wants to preserve our reward for the next world.

miami85

Thu, Nov 23 2023, 10:01 pm

One that stands for me is about 1.5 years ago I was expecting around Purim time and I themed my family's costume that no matter what my baby decided to do, we would have baby included. We did "Horton hear's a Who" and my kid were various characters from the story. Part of the theme was the line of "A Person's a person no matter how small."--with my baby-to-be in mind. My baby decided to hold on until after Purim and then about a week after she was born she needed heart surgery. While it was generally a "routine procedure" it never feels good to see your 1 week old baby wheeled off to the OR knowing the heart and anesthesia are involved. I walked into the parent waiting room and right when I walked in there was a sign "A person's a person no matter how small" and that felt like a "hug from Hashem" that everything was going to be ok. B"H up until this point it has been.

amother

Stone

Tue, Nov 28 2023, 12:01 am

DH has been looking for a job since the end of August. Since the war began, both of us have made significant changes in our lives on a ruchni level. We feel like we have regained a lot of ground that we had slowly lost - bit by bit relaxing of standards. Nothing terrible but we are in a much better place now - think learning, davening, media consumption. Hodu laHashem Ki Tov, DH is iyH starting a job after Chanukah. But I pointed out to him, Hashem did such a chessed for us in not letting him get a job before Sukkos, and not even after we had this wake-up call, but after 6 weeks of solidifying our gains, of being “back to ourselves”. Because being in an intense job, it’s hard to grow, and starting in a better place is so much better for our whole family. Thank You, Hashem!

Highstrung

Tue, Nov 28 2023, 8:50 am

I know to some this may sound trivial but I’m so grateful to HaShem and I feel like he hugged me. I’m sick with Covid and yesterday was the first day in days I was able to walk from my room to another , but I still feel very weak and dizzy . I had to walk a block and half to wait for my daughters bus yesterday afternoon. I was so nervous about it , how will I manage to walk ? How will I manage to stand without sitting down suddenly etc.?
I left the house a little earlier than usual so that I could walk really slow . I walked out the door and felt the delicious, cold and crisp air. I could feel it filling my nostrils and lungs and I just said “Wow! Thank you Hashem for giving me such perfect air to breathe . It’s just what I needed for the walk. It helped keep my nausea and dizziness at bay”. I am also so grateful to Hashem that he put my daughter into a good mood when she came off the bus and it wasn’t a power struggle getting her home . She usually fights me and does shtick because she’s tired and cranky but yesterday she came willingly and eagerly. That really felt like a hug from Hashem .

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Nov 28 2023, 9:15 am

amother Crystal wrote:

I'm not sure it's a good idea to have the perspective that when good things happen or things work out, that it shows hashem cares about us. What should we say when things don't work out? What should we say when bad things happen? There's plenty of people struggling or even suffering. Do we say hashem doesn't care about them?

When difficult things happen, you can then ride on those feelings of embrace you had last time.

A few years ago, I went thru a sudden severe medical crisis. I was so sick and weak and in pain. Laying in the icu after coming thru and waking up, uri davidi's song "gam zu letoiva" sang in my head over and over and over for the next few days/weeks as I recovered.

My then toddler was OBSESSED with that song for weeks before. And it was all that played during the day. The other kids went nuts. Lol.

Nunu gam zu letova....
When things don't go the way you plan
Know Hashem is in command
Even when we don't understand!
Just say. Nunu gam zu.....

It hit me, Hashem prepared me for this moment. There was nothing I could do at that moment other than will my body to stabilize and heal.
I was under great medical care. There is nothing left for me or anyone to do more.
I was in the exact place Hashem wanted me to be. It was all meant to be. For whatever reason it was meant to be exactly the way it was. And it was for the good.

That song was a hug from G-D

Dealing with other difficulties after, I would often remember and ride on that feeling of being fully embraced in the loving arms of Hashem.

TranquilityAndPeace

Tue, Nov 28 2023, 9:22 am

We got up from sitting shiva for DH on the Sunday prior to Rosh Hashana.

My house was a wreck, even though my friends had done a marvelous job cleaning it, but everything was in the wrong place after sitting shiva with double digit aveilim and some of their spouses came too.

The Wednesday after shiva I was looking at the massive pile of linens in my laundry room, and thinking that perhaps I would leave the laundry room until after Sukkos, and focus on organizing the rest of the house, since the laundry room is pretty out of the way.

Then HaShem put into my head to slowly deal with the mountains of laundry, let the machines run, while I also focus on the rest of the house. I was vacillating back and forth, almost couldn’t make up my mind, and then decided to start washing the pile.

Later that day, I opened a huge translucent trash bag that I remembered the hospital had given us to pack up our belongings. I could see one of my blankets inside it that I’d brought to rest in the hospital waiting room during those days when DH was unconscious.

I put the blanket in the washing machine, and then saw something else in the bottom of the trash bag:

It was a large sushi platter! Thankfully still fully wrapped in layers of Saran Wrap, never opened!

It was over 1.5 weeks that it had been sitting in my laundry room. Imagine if I’d chosen to leave the mountain of linens for another few weeks, we would’ve had worms and mice and needed a professional deodorizing company to get rid of the horrible smell!

Amidst the horrific, indescribable tragedy of DH drowning while we were calmly boating together, at the young age of 49, our youngest child is 10, I felt a small and genuine hug from HaShem.

The questions some of you posters are asking about HaShem giving bad people good lives and the details of where Hashem’s hugs are when bad things happen…

I always think we’re in very good company with these questions: This was Moshe Rabbeinu’s question, and Hashem’s response was that a person can only see the back, not the full picture, and we simply don’t know.

Rabbi AY Weinberg of Camp Extreme, for teens at risk, where DH volunteered for years, does a session about why bad things happen to good people. And he uses the kids language, which I normally never would do, but it drives the point home: “We don’t f*#%ing know!”

As a side point, I wonder if there’s less emotional pain to the one year old whose mother brings her to be vaccinated, when they have an attuned, close relationship. Versus the emotional pain of the one year old whose mother is not tuned in to their emotions and is easily dysregulated.

It would make sense. And it would carry over to us: If we had childhoods where we fully trusted our parents and knew in our gut that they always had our best interest at the forefront of their minds, it’s easier to handle when we feel pain due to their limits or boundaries. And the contrary, those of us who grew up with parents who weren’t capable of being emotionally tuned into our needs, have a harder journey trusting that HaShem is doing everything for the good, and with love.

Perhaps this last paragraph can be a spin off, as it’s well known across all religions, that peoples’ “G-d concept” is a takeoff of their relationship with their parents in their youth.

amother

Thistle

Tue, Nov 28 2023, 9:29 am

#BestBubby wrote:

We learn this from Yosef HaTzadik.

At his worst suffering,

Being sold as a Slave....by his Brothers!

Hashem arranged that the Arabs taking him should be carrying spices rather than kerosene which smells bad.

Do you think Yosef cared?

But that small hug from Hashem sent a message to Yosef that even at that point Hashem is watching him.

Yup when I go through a hard time I try to focus on my “spices”
Every part of the difficulty is cheshboned out and we are not meant to suffer an iota more.
Do I like it? No lol
But Gd who created the world made it like this, so I got no choice

I just read TAP’s post and wonder if my good relationship with my parents makes me less angsty about this topic? Or I just haven’t come across enough hardship in my life yet?🙈