I am a teacher and not one student brought me a letter

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:07 pm

My girls had PTA recently & I tipped teachers then. I'm not giving again chanuka. For my boys rabbeim, I'm planning to send next week.
It's so terrible that giving large tips have become standard. It is 100% bribery as it most definitely makes a difference on how the teachers treat the children. Even if the teachers claim it doesn't.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:10 pm

amother Linen wrote:

And the schools do gift the teachers. Asking parents to tip them is like asking my clients to tip me for investing my time and efforts over the past few months in them.
people in other professions work just as hard as teachers, often even harder. We invest and care for our clients who are sometimes with us for years. It's a chutzpa to push it away as the lesser profession.

Honestly the whole concept of asking for tips doesn't make sense. A tip is an extra. Not something you ask for

Cheiny

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:15 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

Honestly the whole concept of asking for tips doesn't make sense. A tip is an extra. Not something you ask for

Exactly. Teachers accept the job at the salary they agree to be paid. If the salary is unsatisfactory they can look for work that’s more lucrative, but no one should depend on tips or extras as a given.

mudpies

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:20 pm

The standard and expectation in the world that we must give is pretty crazy.
But knowing that it's nuts doesn't take away the fact that it's there.
It's human nature to expect to get the same treatment as the people around you. If all the teachers in your school generally get chanukah gifts or letters of appreciation (or if you yourself did last year), then I think it's totally normal to expect, even subconsciously, that the same will happen for you this year.
I don't think OP is nuts. She's looking for validation. I think she's being honest with herself and her disappointment.
That doesn't make the rest of us nuts either. Most of us work beyond hard in so many ways and how I wish we could all get the appreciation we deserve for it! And it's a big stress to have to gift countless numbers of ppl (and remember each one) at so many intervals.
Instead of bashing each other and deciding who deserves appreciation, can we agree that we all want (and yes, definitely deserve) more appreciation and validation??

amother

Hunter

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:26 pm

amother Hydrangea wrote:

I gave my kids Morahs their gifts today bec their schools are closed for a big part of Chanukah.
Also, I gave cash bec I know some of the Morahs are struggling. I would like them to be able to purchase something for their kids ( donuts, treats, Chanukah gelt) during the first days of Chanukah/ Chanukah vacation.

Some of us are waiting to get our paychecks so we can give the Morah’s cash next week and so that we could buy doughnuts for our kids for Shabbos.

I was literally planning on sitting down Sunday on my day off to focus on writing letters . But when an OP starts threads like this , I lose my entire cheshek .

amother

Maize

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:27 pm

smss wrote:

All of you office workers, social workers etc who work hard (and I am sure you do!) without appreciation - do any of you care for the same clients 1-4+ hours every single day for 10 months straight?

I understand that your energy output is huge and that you are impacting others, but is the level of care/time/energy spent on any one client anywhere near where it is for each student a teacher has?

You should be appreciated! Everyone should! But I'd think it's on your bosses. And yes it is sad and unfair that they're not doing it.

I work with a few specific clients at my office job and put a huge amount of energy, time and care into helping them. I would never expect a tip or a heartfelt letter, they just say thank you whenever we talk and that is how it should be! They pay my company for my services and my company pays me a salary I agreed to accept.

I don’t understand the entitlement teachers have, I really don’t.

I don’t have the money to be tipping anyone and I’m far from alone. Inflation hit us all heavy and hard and I am $300 over budget every month already, just from paying basic bills and living a simple life. I only have enough emergency savings to get us through one month if I would lose my job and we’re running through that money now because we’re over budget each month.

I don’t need this pressure of teachers not treating my kids as well as others because other parents are richer. It’s disgusting.

Highstrung

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:28 pm

amother Hydrangea wrote:

I’m sorry you aren’t shown any appreciation by your boss this time of year. All my friends that work in offices either get holiday bonuses or the company buys the same gift for all their employees.
Lakewood for reference.
My husband works for a company that hires a lot of non Jewish employees and they definitely expect their holiday bonuses and company holiday party.
I’m not sure where you are located , but this is society these days. People expect more than our grandparents did

Not where I work. We are not given holiday bonuses . There are over 3,000 employees.
I’ve only received holiday bonuses in frum offices.

amother

Nasturtium

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:29 pm

I dont send gifts or notes.

I send money to the PTA collection who then buys the gifts for teachers with a list of the names of people who gave.

It is very expensive and I cant afford it so I really hope the teachers arent expecting additional notes and gifts above that.

That is my gift.

Highstrung

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:30 pm

NechaMom wrote:

I thought this too when saw all replies that it’s not chanuka yet.

I like the system in my kids’ school where all mothers chip in for a chanuka gift (usually cash) for the teacher. One class mother is in charge of collecting and presents it nicely with a note. Mothers are not forced to give if they can’t. They get a note one time as a reminder but it’s optional. Whoever can gives.

So if OP is off for the week and got zero recognition I can understand feeling under appreciated.

I hope she’ll still get something.

We have this system. But then I found out that parents intentionally don’t give in the collection because they want to tip separately and stand out . So all those that chipped into the collection aren’t as noticed by the teachers . They probably view those parents as “having an easy way out” even though they are chipping in too.

amother

Eggshell

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:55 pm

Sorry but this is ridiculous.
It is UNETHICAL to give a teacher a gift/cash. Just like any therapist. It is a bribe. Look at how many moms posted they wouldn't give but are afraid how it would impact their kid.
I work in a treatment center. Work with people for months on a daily, personal level. More attention than any teacher, honestly. And I respect my kids teachers but there is no comparison from a teacher of 25 to working 1 on 1. I ONCE got a card from a client. ONCE. Been working many many years. Never from family members, by the way. And guess what? It should be this way!!
Now a boss could give bonuses but not from the client!!

amother

Gray

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 3:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Or gift for chanuka.
So disappointing when I give them my all and not to be noticed or appreciated whatsoever.
Not asking for money. Asking for a letter

I had a nice surprise when I walked into the staff room today and saw a box of donuts and a note from a mother.
But du get why it was nice? Because it was a surprise I.e. not expected. It's not a 'thing' wher I live. When it's the thing to do it doesn't really mean anything.

I know I'm appreciated, a forced gift means nothing!

Get over yourselves & work on your self esteem.

amother

Dill

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 3:25 pm

As a teacher obviously tips are appreciated but my favorite thing is a note from the child. Doesn’t have to be a whole big thing but when I get a happy Chanukah note from a student it makes my day. I think it also really teachers our kids hakoras hatov for their teachers who put in a lot of effort for them. But in no way is cash necessary or dependent on how I will treat your child. As a teacher, I will love every single student no matter what.

amother

Daphne

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 3:26 pm

I am a young mother who is also a teacher. I have not been paid in months.
I wrote for my kids teachers, assistants, and therapists a very nice letter and gave money with a gift. I gave it today because we start vacation tomorrow .
Ik most of my students dont have money but I was hoping that the parents would tell me thank you so much for all the work you put in. Chavie loves going to school have a freilichen chanuka. Nope none of that. It was thanks bye.
The class mothers collected and gave a bit of money with a note that is so cliche and unmeaningful. The note more than the money is what im upset about.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 3:34 pm

amother Daphne wrote:

You haven’t been paid in months? That just doesn’t happen in my community. Does that happen in other communities/schools?

heidi

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 3:36 pm

smss wrote:

Do you really want to go there?
I work 12 months a year.
12.
I don't get off 2-3 weeks before Pesach.
I don't get off chol hamoed.
I don't get off from YK- after Sukkot
I don't get off 10 weeks in the summer.
I don't get off Taanis Esther, Purim and Shushan Purim.
I don't get off for lag baomer.
I don't work half a day on fast days.
Poor teachers.
Cry me a river.

smss

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 3:42 pm

amother Maize wrote:

Agreed! You're aware though that students don't often say thank you to their teachers for a great lesson, a fun project, extra help with their work etc though right?

amother Maize wrote:

I don’t understand the entitlement teachers have, I really don’t.

But you yourself feel entitled to thank yous from your clients. This thread was not about gifts, it was about expressing appreciation.

amother Maize wrote:

I don’t need this pressure of teachers not treating my kids as well as others because other parents are richer. It’s disgusting.

If this isn't theoretical and is actually what is happening to your kids, I am so sorry and you should consider moving. I don't know a single teacher who would do this. No teacher I know expects gifts or money or would EVER treat kids differently based on what their parents do or don't gift.

And we don't even "expect" cards/verbal thank yous in the sense that most parents don't do them, so why would we expect it. As a parent though, I think it's basic hakaras hatov. And my older kids write the cards themselves.

smss

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 3:44 pm

heidi wrote:

PM me, I know of some openings for teaching jobs where you can get the schedule you desire!