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I went OTD but am now back on AMA
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amother
Cognac


 

Post Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:16 am
I have a good relationship with my OTD cousin - we live far away so its mainly texting and phone convo's. She is a really hurt person, and her boyfriend keeps dragging her back into doing drugs, but we where close as kids

She feels really rejected by some of her siblings, and I totally understand her, but part of the issue is that she dresses really really provocativly and trashy, and curses a LOT. If she would dress like a normal secular person, they would be ok with having her over and stuff - but even on secular standards she is 30 and is dressing like a rebellious teenager (think tiny shorts that don't cover her tush with a tube top). So they don't have her over when she is by her parents and they don't spend time with her, and then she gets hurt - and goes back to her boyfriend who is super toxic....

Then she realizes how bad he is for her, breaks up, gets clean - goes home for a visit, and bam the rejection pushes her back towards him again.

Is there anything I can do from the outside?
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amother
Orange


 

Post Thu, Dec 14 2023, 9:05 am
amother Cognac wrote:
I have a good relationship with my OTD cousin - we live far away so its mainly texting and phone convo's. She is a really hurt person, and her boyfriend keeps dragging her back into doing drugs, but we where close as kids

She feels really rejected by some of her siblings, and I totally understand her, but part of the issue is that she dresses really really provocativly and trashy, and curses a LOT. If she would dress like a normal secular person, they would be ok with having her over and stuff - but even on secular standards she is 30 and is dressing like a rebellious teenager (think tiny shorts that don't cover her tush with a tube top). So they don't have her over when she is by her parents and they don't spend time with her, and then she gets hurt - and goes back to her boyfriend who is super toxic....

Then she realizes how bad he is for her, breaks up, gets clean - goes home for a visit, and bam the rejection pushes her back towards him again.

Is there anything I can do from the outside?


Maybe tell her it’s time to find someone else?
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amother
Orange


 

Post Thu, Dec 14 2023, 9:07 am
amother Trillium wrote:
Have you suffered any s*xual abuse or molestation? Is it unfortunately the main reason for so many OTD's?


I think people stop being frum for so many reasons, that they shouldn’t jump to saying that’s the only reason. It could also be the way the frum people treat them not nicely.
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