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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
By which # child did you become a stay at home mom?
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37% |
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17% |
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| 3 |
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22% |
[ 28 ] |
| 4 or more? |
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22% |
[ 28 ] |
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| Total Votes : 123 |
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amother
Dahlia
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 Wed, Dec 20 2023, 8:02 am
| amother Apple wrote: | I stopped working after our home business didn’t work out anymore. But I worked for 22 years before that happened. I always thought I would get another job but it wasn’t necessary financially so I just got busy with things in the house. At this point it’s been close to 8 years and I would like to take on a light job but I don’t even know what I can do anymore. Technology advanced tremendously and I’m so out of it. I can’t even think of what I want to do. In the past I worked as a teacher and in a medical office but I don’t want to do that anymore.
I’m not bored at home. I spend my days doing laundry, cleaning up, cooking supper, baking, errands, appointments for myself and kids. I think once you have kids you can never be really bored as long as they’re living at home. I’m lonely sometimes but not bored. |
I don't know....I have 8 kids home ages 4-15 and am bored crazy at home. I don't have cleaning help but can not deal with the same boring thing day in and day out. It's a struggle for me, which is is why I much prefer working. I am still doing the cleaning and laundry and errands but I desperately need to use my brain a bit more and I don't ever feel productive doing chores like I do when working - I feel more alive - hard to explain.
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amother
Slateblue
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 8:33 am
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Stopped working when my second one was 7 months I didn’t know it at that time but I was pregnant with my 3rd already
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amother
Midnight
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 8:45 am
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Stopped working when I couldn't handle anymore (4 kids). Finance did not allow but I believe parnasa is bashert... I wish I could rewind the years and stopped working at my first.... I had a very stressful job and hours and was a mean mother
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amother
White
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 9:51 am
I voted after 4 kids but that's not 100% accurate.
I was in school when I first got married, and finished while pregnant with kid #3. Then I took off a year because I had a baby and was dealing with a significant medical issue with another kid. I then worked for around 4 years, through the birth of #4, and then I moved to a different state and ended up homeschooling one elementary aged child for over a year, so I became a SAHM. Now BH said child is in school, but I remain at home with a 3 year old (who isn't in preschool because it wasn't in the budget) and an infant.
My field of specialty (for which I have a Masters) isn't really in the school realm, and would require me to have access to childcare hours that I don't think would be feasible in my current situation. And I don't live near family that could cover for me when I need it, and DHs job which BH makes more than I would be making at the moment, is very high pressure and doesn't have much flexibility. So for now I stay home. I happen to not be the most productive SAHM, and the money would be helpful, especially since we are theoretically in an income bracket that we are expecting to pay full tuition, but for now this is what works.
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amother
Clematis
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 10:04 am
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I’ve been blessed to be able to freelance from home since I had my first, BH. Just had #4 kah and so grateful not to have to send her out. DH makes enough to support us BH but the intellectual stimulation is a must for me, plus I want to keep my skills sharp for when my baby goes to school (in all likelihood she will be my youngest).
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amother
DarkRed
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 3:12 pm
Not judging just genuinely curious. We're you ever bored ?[/quote]
No wasn't bored. Was adjusting to married life and moving to a new country. I did take a job but it wasn't the right fit and I quit. Then I was pregnant and had a horrible pregnancy and couldn't get out of bed anyways so was very happy I wasn't working.
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amother
Steelblue
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 3:24 pm
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I guess I did the opposite. I was a stay at home mom when my kids were little and started working when they were all in school.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 4:01 pm
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have 2 kids and I really want to stop working thought it will get easier the older my baby gets but somehow its only getting harder.. somehow all my friends with 2 work and manage perfectly. Life is so expensive these days that most households need 2 incomes in order to cover. in such a dilemma if should give up my job or wait for finances to settle.
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amother
Puce
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 4:07 pm
Which would impact your quality of life more? Needing to be more frugal, or needing to keep juggling childcare and a job?
Can you start doing something from home, babysitting or part-time remote work? Are there expenses you'd be okay with cutting so you can manage on one income?
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amother
Calendula
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 4:08 pm
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I have a very funny feeling. I've worked full time all my life and now when all the kids are in school I want to dial down. But it will never happen because of the finances and I crave social contacts.
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amother
DarkRed
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 4:10 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | have 2 kids and I really want to stop working thought it will get easier the older my baby gets but somehow its only getting harder.. somehow all my friends with 2 work and manage perfectly. Life is so expensive these days that most households need 2 incomes in order to cover. in such a dilemma if should give up my job or wait for finances to settle. |
can you cover your expenses without your job?
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aria3578
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 5:40 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | did you stop working when you had a certain amount of kids/needed to run your house or when your finances agreed that you can stop working? |
I would like to call myself a stay at home mom but I have a business. I quit my other steady job after I had my first. But I still “work” but on my own time and own schedule
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amother
Blueberry
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 5:44 pm
Finances.
When they allowed it, I stopped working.
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Ima_Shelli
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 6:44 pm
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work full time, love my job, would never stop unless forced to. Can't imagine life any other way.
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amother
Diamond
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 6:47 pm
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When I got fired from my full time job
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amother
DarkMagenta
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 7:49 pm
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I finished college a week before my first was born. She was a handful until recently. That was 12 years ago. I have worked part time in recent years but nothing long term. I have had 3 other kids. I do have a sibling who used to work full time and realized using a babysitter wasn't ideal. Her husband now works (they started in kollel) so she doesn't anymore. Honestly unless you get paid well and/or love your job, be at home as much as you can. Children need attention and unconditional love. And no, I don't think working makes you a bad mother.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 9:13 pm
Yes I could bh cover... but money is such a painful topic these days.. the more you have the more you want!! I wish I can just learn to let go thaws what bashert for me will come my way.
Would really love to by a mommy at home after all this is what a labored for.. but lemaseh we can always use more money..
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amother
OP
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Wed, Dec 20 2023, 9:13 pm
sometimes I wish to be fired!
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