How do you handle wild kids?

amother

Oatmeal

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 8:46 am

My great grandmother raised her children in a third world country in a tiny hut. Her children romanticize the experience and made it sound like they were angels. Recently, my grandmother and her brother were reminiscing and it turns out that their mother would take them on one hour walks twice a day! Plus they had daily exercises in school. No wonder the kids were well behaved! They were too exhausted to be wild. I wonder if that was a more common parenting tool in the past.

amother

Starflower

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:33 am

amother Catmint wrote:

Op I don't live in a small apartment but I do not let my kids wildly destroy the house. Stop wild kids before they even become wild. Have lots of activities on shabbos so they are not bored. When the kids are Wild it could be
1They are overtired from the night before.
2They are hungry
3They just had sugar/food coloring.
4. They need your help switching to calm mode.

For #1 shabbos brings some challenges. This one is important to get right in advance. 2. Is easy to solve. 3 needs shabbos outdoor activities-I don't know about you but my kids find walks boring. This shabbos I put them on boots older ones snow boots because we had so much rain, and they road scooters, my boys play jumprope its not an only girls acttivity, (my kids were laughing the whole family next door boys and girls played chinese jumrope, pogo stick. For preschool age Red light green light and other street games you might have to be involved.

If it's an option for you I send all my boys to shul for part of shachris. Otherwise I have lazy kids jumping on the coach in pajamas until my husband cones home from shul. My boys are usually the ones with more energy. I don't make them sit at the shabbos Sunday too long. They happily get the shlack Jobs of bringing whatever we need to the table clearing the table. I do whatever I could to use their energy up

Or 5. They have ADHD and none of these ideas help.

amother

Amaranthus

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:47 am

My boys are just wild because they’re wild. They feed off each other. They actually like fighting (they told me this separately).

Yesterday was so hard bec of the rain. BH one ds went to shul last night and this morning. So fighting was just in the afternoon. They alternated between playing nicely and beating each other up. One had a bloody nose.

amother

DarkGreen

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:15 am

giftedmom wrote:

Did you grow up with only sisters?

I grew up with only sisters. Now I have two boys in my mix who get super crazy together. One has adhd and the other is younger and doesn’t know how to set boundaries and say “time to calm down”.

It’s super stressful for me!!!

amother

DarkGreen

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 12:52 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

Give them rainboots and let them splash in the puddles. Jump in the rain. Give out ALL the energy!

That’s cute advice for a Sunday! I find the day to day hard when it’s morning or afternoon routine and kids need supper, breakfast, homework, getting dressed etc! It can mamish bring the house down into chaos

amother

Amaryllis

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 1:01 pm

I believe in letting kids be kids and act like kids.
Kids can't always be wild and they should listen when mom asks for quite. But you can't always control likw a hawk and I don't want to squash my kids childhood fun. In an event that I feel like I will explode from the chaos or noise, I let my kids jump around and act wild and I remove myself from the area. I go into my room for few minutes. Or put on loud nice music or podcast on my airpods so I can tune out.
I am a pretty chilled and easy going person too, and organized. So if my kids make a mess I will make them help clean up and be on top so our house doesn't turn into a wreck.

amother

DarkGreen

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 1:07 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

This advice is for wild. But what if kids are getting hurt and fighting?? That’s a different kind of wild that I can’t just chill out about

amother

Amaryllis

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 1:42 pm

Depends how little the kids are. I make my kids responsible for their fights. A fight is mostly 2 sided. ( that kid that instigates quietly and adds fuel by saying mean words vs. the one that yells and hits are equally fighting in my opinion.)
I rarely mix in. Maybe I'm different than others in my parenting.
I can hug, kiss, listen but not mix in.
Lets say my Chany comes to tell me that Shaya hit her I just say " Wow!! I'm so sorry!! come for a hug!! But then Shaya pipes in " Nu uh!! Chany pinched me before" I say " Wow!! Come for a hug too!!"
Then I can tell them " Please figure out how you can not fight"
And I continue doing what I need.

amother

DarkGreen

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 1:51 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

I like that approach. But when you ares standing in the same room and see that one took the Lego bin and threw it at the others head that approach doesn’t work.

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 1:53 pm

I have a few sensory seeking children (doing the OT route). My OT suggested a swing too have in the house.

It’s been so helpful when they need to get that input. I use it with a weighted blanket and would turn on a tape for them to listen.. it helps ground them.

I got this swing, and have it hanging indoors.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/prod.....psc=1

amother

Moccasin

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 3:09 pm

Growing up, all kids had ADHD, literal bounding off the walls. Half my kids have ADHD too. Here are some strategies.

- very small indoor trampoline (you can get one with a handle for less falling)
- a plastic slide indoors
- climbing ladder on the wall (handyman installed it)
- jump ropes
- skip its
- twister

Also, we used to hang upside down off the couch and imagine living upside down, especially entertaining if someone walked into the room as they appeared to be on the ceiling. Somehow hanging upside allowed us to stay still.

Martial arts classes - this wasn't at home, but it was once a week and definitely channeled energy correctly (we also had dance, gymnastics, etc., but martial arts in particular teaches a certian level of self discipline and self control that we didn't get from the other activities), plus it gave us a constructive energetic activity to practice at home instead of just randomly bouncing off the walls.