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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
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amother
Periwinkle
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 Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:33 am
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I'd go further and say she's probably deliberately using the pads that she knows you'll notice because she wants you to acknowledge that it's a hard week for her and pay attention to it.
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amother
Cherry
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:35 am
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Op please realize that this a form of unconditional love that a mom has to her child. You care for them in their moments like period blood, vomit, diarrhea, runny noses.
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amother
Crocus
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 9:00 am
Am I the only one that gets a run down monthly of cramps, so upset it’s now…. Need a massage..
house full of girls. Not a very private thing here. Just an opportunity for extra Tlc.
Why is this an invasion of her privacy?
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amother
Cinnamon
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 9:02 am
| amother OP wrote: | I guess I just feel I'm invading her privacy.
But I'll get over it. |
It's private to the extent that one shouldn't run around announcing their period to everyone. But there's no need to hide it, as if you've done something wrong
No one should be embarrassed to quietly ask a friend for supplies if they don't have, to change their pad as often as needed, etc. (I think many teens and even adults are. Just saying I think it's better not to be)
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Chayalle
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 9:24 am
| amother Crocus wrote: | Am I the only one that gets a run down monthly of cramps, so upset it’s now…. Need a massage..
house full of girls. Not a very private thing here. Just an opportunity for extra Tlc.
Why is this an invasion of her privacy? |
You are definitely not the only one.
Sometimes I try to be extra supportive, like get a teen who is feeling fuzzy and yucky a slurpy or milkshake to show your support.....What are mothers for anyway?
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amother
Cherry
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 9:36 am
| Chayalle wrote: | You are definitely not the only one.
Sometimes I try to be extra supportive, like get a teen who is feeling fuzzy and yucky a slurpy or milkshake to show your support.....What are mothers for anyway? |
Exactly.
Married women get to confide and ask for sympathy from their husbands. Who should unmarried girls ask for some tlc or just validation? Periods can be frustrating.
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imaima
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 9:52 am
| amother OP wrote: | Who can help me with a solution.
I keep packets of pads in the closet in my bedroom.
I also keep a stock of pads in the bathroom.
My DD knows she can take from both these places.
I'm the one who buys new pads and replenishes the stock in the bathroom.
I don't use the stock in the bathroom, but I check every now and then too see if it needs refilling.
What usually happens is that when I'm emptying the bin in the bathroom I will notice that it's fuller than usual, then I'll check the stock in the bathroom cupboard and see that the pads are being used at the moment, so I refill it.
Thing is, I don't want to have to know every time my DD has her period.
But I end up knowing.
I don't think my DD really cares or thinks about it, it's just me. |
What’s the issue? When you have period, other people can know too
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giftedmom
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 9:56 am
| amother Crocus wrote: | Am I the only one that gets a run down monthly of cramps, so upset it’s now…. Need a massage..
house full of girls. Not a very private thing here. Just an opportunity for extra Tlc.
Why is this an invasion of her privacy? |
lol no I’m mentally preparing for lots of drama. At this point I hear about every pimple and scrape and headache so I don’t see that changing, well, maybe until they have a few kids of their own🤷🏽♀️.
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Chayalle
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:23 am
| giftedmom wrote: | | lol no I’m mentally preparing for lots of drama. At this point I hear about every pimple and scrape and headache so I don’t see that changing, well, maybe until they have a few kids of their own🤷🏽♀️. |
LOL. Or sometimes when there's drama, and that night there's kvetching, I'm like, oh so that's what the drama was about....ooohh.
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Plonis bas Plonis
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:26 am
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Op, I wonder if this is stemming from your privacy being constantly invaded when you were a child. Therefore you are going to the opposite extreme to make sure it doesn’t happen to your daughter.
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singleagain
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:32 am
| Chayalle wrote: | | LOL. Or sometimes when there's drama, and that night there's kvetching, I'm like, oh so that's what the drama was about....ooohh. |
This happens to me personally. There are times when I am like. Why can't I control myself and then the next morning I see the blood and I'm like oh.....
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imaima
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:39 am
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I do train my daughters to discreetly wrap the pads and the underwear in the laundry basket so that the entire household don’t see their bloody items, but it’s more of a tzniyus issue in my eyes. I am training them not to expose their private things for their own sake.
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imaima
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:43 am
| singleagain wrote: | | This happens to me personally. There are times when I am like. Why can't I control myself and then the next morning I see the blood and I'm like oh..... |
I used to have an argument with my friends all the time. Then I noticed that it’s every month precisely before the period…
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amother
Daisy
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:34 pm
| Plonis bas Plonis wrote: | | Op, I wonder if this is stemming from your privacy being constantly invaded when you were a child. Therefore you are going to the opposite extreme to make sure it doesn’t happen to your daughter. |
I totally get OP. My mom is really not emotionally there for me at all. She has issues. when I was younger, I didn't realizw. Now, married a few years and matured a lot, I see exactly what her issues are and what my emotional neglect did for me. BH I'm really doing great. But, my mom kept just 1 (!) package of pads inside her walk in closet. I was always so mortified to sneak into her room and walk across the entire hallway with a stack of pads to keep in my closet, with a houseful of brothers.
And my mom has this thing of not having garbage cans in bathrooms. only recently did she start keeping one in the upstairs floor in the laundry room (also a walk across the hallway from the bathroom)
so you can imagine, a hormonal 16 year old stressing what to do with her dirty pad that she just changed, while 2 younger brothers are banging down the shared bathroom door for her to come out. It was such a mortifying situation for me and made everything so stressful. It took me a while to learn to keep a shopping bag in my bedroom and use that as a garbage but I also somehow needed to hide that from my little sister who slept in same room and I can go on and on and on.
so yes, I will have plenty of trauma when my dd's start with their periods. of course I will try to make sure they never experienced what I did. (and TBH my mom probably has zero inkling of any issues with this at all!!!)
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amother
Wine
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:46 pm
| amother Crocus wrote: | Am I the only one that gets a run down monthly of cramps, so upset it’s now…. Need a massage..
house full of girls. Not a very private thing here. Just an opportunity for extra Tlc.
Why is this an invasion of her privacy? |
lol no thats how it was when I was growing up in a house with 4 girls. everyone knew whenever someone was on their period.
your home is your safe space; you should be able to kvetch and complain and ask for tlc during your period without it having to be a shameful, secretive thing.
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amother
Cognac
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 11:36 pm
How old is your dd? Why can't you just give her an allowance, let her buy her own supplies, and leave you out of the loop? I'll bet you don't buy her makeup or nail polish or hair glop. Seems to me she doesn't care if you know, otherwise she'd find another way to dispose of them, too. How do you dispose of yours? Maybe you should be teaching her how to dispose of hers more discreetly.
But I do think it's weird of you to be so freaked out by knowing. It's none of your business, but if dd doesn't care, why should you? ...or are you really just grossed out by the unlovely sight of her discarded sanitary supplies? Who wouldn't be? Definitely teach her a better way.
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amother
Tulip
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 6:49 am
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I've always said that if your period came out of your ear, no one would be embarrassed. By the way, did anyone else ever hide a pad in their sleeve at school when going to the bathroom?
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amother
Oak
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:55 am
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A bit off topic here, but always been wondering: what do you teach your daughters to do when they have their period and it's a school day? How do they change their pad in the school bathroom? That was always such a nightmare for me as a teen. My mom never spoke to me about these things and I didn't want my friends to know anything.
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amother
Latte
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:58 am
| amother Oak wrote: | | A bit off topic here, but always been wondering: what do you teach your daughters to do when they have their period and it's a school day? How do they change their pad in the school bathroom? That was always such a nightmare for me as a teen. My mom never spoke to me about these things and I didn't want my friends to know anything. |
Why is it so difficult? Take your pad and change it. Don't most bathtooms have a little garbage dispensor in the stall?
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Chayalle
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 9:40 am
| amother Oak wrote: | | A bit off topic here, but always been wondering: what do you teach your daughters to do when they have their period and it's a school day? How do they change their pad in the school bathroom? That was always such a nightmare for me as a teen. My mom never spoke to me about these things and I didn't want my friends to know anything. |
My teen uses period underwear with tampons - win-win combination. She doesn't feel gross, and she's less afraid of leakage. Tampons are not so hard to be discreet with. They put it in their pocket or up their sleeve....
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