Morah's would this annoy you? Phone, one off.

amother

Daylily

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 11:22 pm

OP, it sounds like you feel resentful that every day you look away when she comes late and today it seems like she couldn't give you the same courtesy. Just a smile, nod, collect her kid and give a wave on the way out. If there wasn't a concern (kid acting cranky/not herself at home), she could have assumed everything was fine unless she hears otherwise from you.
Sort of like it makes you feel that she should recognize and acknowledge that you do her a favor every day and just go with the flow for once from her end.

And I can get the annoyance of the text. When you finish work, you want to shut off your brain completely. It's annoying to have to change gears and answer a text when you are in Mommy mode for the evening.

Does that sound right?

amother

Tealblue

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 11:42 pm

amother Daylily wrote:

Even so. Isn't it part of the job?

I'm a babysitter for a group of 4. If the mom texts me after work (yes Even the one who's always late and doesn't pay me when she's late) I Gladly message back. Why is there a thing of "she ruined my evening with a text" that took all of 2 seconds to write? How is this a thread?

She was on the phone. For the first time all yr. Realistically no one is gonna fault her for that.
That happened to me once when I was on hold for a Dr's office that closed soon and needed to make an appointment urgently.

Not one mother had an issue with it.

They all messagedater asking how the day went, and I gladly responded.

mummy85

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:41 am

I'm not sure the phone was an issue for her. She sounds like the type of mother who wants and needs to know every day how her child is. It could be she was also busy until then. I don't see why a text should ruin your night. Ignore it.
If it's not something she does every day and you asked her not to, then let it go. She probably has no idea how much it annoyed you.

DrMom

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:49 am

NechaMom wrote:

Honestly, the amount you're over thinking this seems obsessive. You have a whole story in your mind that she most likely wanted to send you a message that she noticed you're on the phone. IMO it's all blown out of proportion. She is the type of mom who likes asking the morah every afternoon how the day was. Even though her 2 year old can talk. That's the end of it. Nothing with you being on the phone.

This.

This whole incident isn't even thread-worthy.

amother

Clematis

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:15 pm

My kids moral is on the phone at pickup at least twice a week. It really doesn't nother me.if she needs to take a quick call. Don't feel guilty about it, the mom probably doesn't care at all.

But also, I like to know how my kid was every single day because I'm her mother and I leave her im the care of someone else everyday. Part of that is my own mom guilt and part of it is because I feel that as my child's mother I do need to know how they were for the third of the day when Im not with them, at least at this age. Even if nothing was wrong, thay is also important for me to know,.I dnnt only need to know how muc chld.is doing when there was problem. And 2 year olds, even very verbal.ones, are not very reliable when it comes to conveying information (my older one made things up all the time, it was hilarious).

I know it is frustrating to have your job interrupt you during the evening, I sympathize with that. Once in a while, it may happen in any job, but especially in one where you work with people. Someitmes, our hoemivrs impinge uppn oirbjob (like you taking a call) and thats ok, and sometimes our iobs impinge upon our home lives (jlike the text you got) and thats ok too. I don't think it was wrong of the mother to text so she could know about several hours of her chld's day and I also dont think it is wrong for you to feel disturbed by it. Sometimes no one means any harm or intends to do wrong and we feel bad anywayand it passes.

elusivity

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 3:35 pm

DrMom wrote:

This.

This whole incident isn't even thread-worthy.

OP got really bothered about an incident and came here for support and sympathy.

She's very upset and resentful at the mother who texted her, and those feelings are real and valid. Just because we wouldn't feel the same way doesn't mean we have a right to dismiss her!

Before the tomatoes come splatting, please note that I'm not saying that the way she's responding is ok or healthy. It sounds like she's angry at the mother for triggering her guilty feelings, while the text was probably nothing more than what it seemed to be. She would probably benefit from learning to be more self-aware and handling her emotions in a healthy way instead of responding defensively. But I've yet to see a human who wouldn't to some degree or another.

Other venting threads are full of sympathy and righteous outrage, not dismissal and cutting advice - and plenty of them seemed unhealthy in some way. So how do we decide which incidents are thread-worthy and which non-thread-worthy? If we would respond the same way as the OP or not? Well, that's pretty narrow-minded and maybe even a tiny bit narcissistic.

NechaMom

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 3:38 pm

elusivity wrote:

All the toilet paper threads are okay so I don't think there are rules.