Books instead of therapy

ssspectacular

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:03 am

amother Marigold wrote:

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed https://amzn.eu/d/cowKJLC

There is a workbook based on this book which is excellent to use as an alternate to therapy.

amother

Winterberry

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:28 am

Really depends on the issues you'd like to focus on.
Here are some suggestions that I loved:
Running on Empty
The Body Keeps the Score
Mirror Work

Also, you might be interested in doing something different than therapy to help yourself along. This can be like a course (The Possible You might be good) or something therapeutic for you (depending on what you need, this can be like an art class, water aerobics, AA meeting, etc)

G'luck!

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 1:10 pm

amother Pear wrote:

IMO many many people who think they need therapy, actually need life skills (especially communicatiom skills) and not therapy.

This was me.

Because of a crappyish childhood, I lacked effective communication skills, and it was really the lack of communication skills that REALLY made me suffer as a young adult.

The worst was I was hypersensitive and anxious about anyone potentially being mean to me because I didn't know how to handle it. The various books on Bullying and sibling rivalry by Izzy Kalman helped a ton with that. Most of them you can read for free on his website, or at least 10 years ago that was true.

Never thought about it ! True! Thanks

amother

Pear

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 1:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

Never thought about it ! True! Thanks

Just to elaborate: I had crappy parents, but nothing illegal. When I was 19, I was out on my own and I was at a supermarket and a woman cut in front of me in line with a ton of stuff and I didn't say anything, and I really just hated myself so much for not saying anything and I felt so stupid and worthless and ruined.

If I went to therapy, it would have been easy to connect my parents' crappy behavior toward me to why I couldn't be assertive, but focusing on that would just make me feel worse.

If the therapy had focused on getting me to feel less self-hatred when something similar haplens, that may have helped a tiny bit.

But what I really needed was for someone to teach me how to be assertive, and just role play a scenerio and have me practice saying "excuse me, I'm here". If I had had that, I think I would have been normal in 6 months to a year!

When a bad childhood causes a person to lack life skills, the focus should be on the life skills, not the childhood.

amother

Hawthorn

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 3:12 pm

I don’t like the body keeps the score. It didn’t give practical ideas for me. I didn’t like running on empty either. I really like Thais Gibson- personal development school- online membership- cheap- and way better than therapy IMO. She has a book as well but membership is better.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:14 pm

amother Pear wrote:

Wow! Crazy I’m like that too!
My parents weren’t crappy but I’m the oldest of a big family , I was parentified as a child . And I have a reallly hard time with asking for what I need or putting boundaries .
Makes sense what you saying

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:15 pm

amother Hawthorn wrote:

Interesting ! that one was recommended a lot to me ( the body keeps score) not only here .
Thank you

funkyfrummom

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:22 pm

I did not read the entire thread, but for folks that are seeking book recommendations... before choosing to read the books of Louise Hay it is important to know that her techniques are not from the world of therapy. They are actually from her religious perspective. She was one of the major players in a metaphysical church called Religious Science (which is very similar to another metaphysical church called Unity that some people are more familiar with). Her style (affirmations, meditation) is of that religion. They have a very metaphysical understanding of yeshke (kinda more a x-st consciousness thing) and have a big focus on positive thinking and self development. Additionally, I believe she studied TM before developing her meditation techniques (so to be aware that her techniques may incorporate some of that... I have never heard her meditations).

I am not saying this to at all disrespect those who have found her work helpful, but it is important for frum women to know that she is a spiritual author so they can make an informed choice before exposing themselves to her ideas.

amother

Antiquewhite

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:33 pm

amother Hawthorn wrote:

curious how her membership compares to just watching her youtube videos?
Also I don't know that I agree with the attachment style the quiz claims I have, does the membership only give you what type?

amother

Hawthorn

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 11:21 am

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

curious how her membership compares to just watching her youtube videos?
Also I don't know that I agree with the attachment style the quiz claims I have, does the membership only give you what type?

U can try the membership for free for seven days. It’s very clear with worksheets and easy to follow. Step by step exactly what to do. The exact attachment doesn’t really matter. The membership has different courses you can take and you would start with certain ones based on ur attachment but it doesn’t really make a difference and you can start with any courses.

amother

Lemon

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 11:41 am

For those who mentioned books, can you give a little blurb on what the books is about and how it helped you work through your issues? For example, I read the body keeps score, and though some of the examples were interesting, I didn’t feel I could use anything to help myself practically.

amother

Hawthorn

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 5:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes Lemon, that would be helpful !
I didn’t know that about you can heal your life !

m

Self therapy by Jay Earley- explains step by step exactly how to do IFS on your own. Very practical and hands on step by step

Thais Gibson- her online membership and books- teach you your attachment and how to reprogram your core beliefs. Very practical and hands on. Step by step.

amother

Hawthorn

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 5:55 pm

I read “ loving what is” bryon Katie and
“you can heal your life” by luise hay. Both were very inspirational- but they ultimately didn’t change my life practically because it was too hard to implement for me. The ideas are great tho. And I loved the books…

amother

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:10 pm

amother Hawthorn wrote:

Thanks that’s very helpful !
I hate books that only tell you everything you do wrong but they don’t tell how to fix it lol
So good to know