S/o Working mothers

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S/o Working mothers

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View latest: 24h 48h 72h

How do you feel about working as a mother?

My job fills me and I could never imagine not working.

15%

[ 22 ]

I work because I need to, but I also enjoy it.

42%

[ 59 ]

I wish I didn't need to work, but I make the best of it.

34%

[ 48 ]

Working is a curse. I hate my life!!

[ 11 ]

Total Votes : 140

amother

Candycane

Wed, May 22 2024, 2:00 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

I always felt the same way until I took 2 years off.
Of course I kept my baby home. However he was very cranky and frankly needed more stimulation than I was able to give him (now that he's older, I do see a touch of adhd).
I gained weight.
I had a hard time keeping up the motivation to do housework all.day.long.
I felt guilty and felt the need to alway prioritize my husband's needs above my own because he has to work and I was home.

SAHM is not always what its made out to be (unless you're rich and can hire a nanny and just engage in self care all day until the kids come home)

Im not the OP. I have had years of being a sahm and some not.
Its not easy being a sahm, but I would rather put my energy into my family and my kids than a job.

amother

Almond

Wed, May 22 2024, 2:45 pm

I was a sahm for a number of years. I was miserable and depressed. Started working and got my life back.
I love my kids to death and would love to spend every moment with them but work made me a better mom.

amother

Charcoal

Wed, May 22 2024, 3:08 pm

I have tried both ways. I feel better working . I need the money , so I need to work regardless. But I feel more appreciated and valued at work than I do at home.

It’s hard to constantly be a SAHM and never feel recognized or appreciated for your hard work .

It’s a hard balance, but I enjoy my job and like the people I work with.

amother

Stone

Wed, May 22 2024, 3:24 pm

It was very very hard working FT with young children. I felt as if I never saw them, and when I did see them I was exhausted and had no patience for them. I was a slave to the clock: Up at this hour to be out at that hour to get to work at the other hour and out again at this hour to get home at that hour to relieve the sitter...not to talk about erev Shabbos and YT. Only on Shabbos itself was I not operating with one eye on the clock. But I was the primary breadwinner and the one whose job offered health insurance; working was a necessity, not a choice.

OTOH, even if we could have afforded for me to stay home, I could not have been a SAHM and would have gone insane within a month if I had tried. As much as the stress was incredible, I needed the time in the working world to be an adult, to use the education I spent so much time acquiring, and to be seen as Ms. Levine the knowledgeable resource and not just Mrs. Levine, Moshe and Itai's mom. I didn't necessarily love my job but I loved having a job.

The ideal balance for my soul would have been to work two days a week when the kids were babies and three days a week once they were all in school. However, my job didn't lend itself to part time work, and the pay would have been insufficient even if part time work would have been in the offing.

amother

Tealblue

Wed, May 22 2024, 3:31 pm

amother Stone wrote:

This really resonates with me!

amother

Black

Wed, May 22 2024, 3:47 pm

I didn't work for over 10 years as a mom.
recently started a very part time job and enjoy getting out of the house. I am not working for the money as I make very little and literally doesn't make a dent in my life. I can't imagine working full time.

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, May 22 2024, 3:55 pm

I work part time so it definitely makes a difference. I can't say it never gets humdrum and I say I want to quit but in general I enjoy it once I'm there. There are seasons when it gets harder to work too and im lucky I can be flexible so I take off extra when I need to do stuff at home. I dont make a lot but whatever I do come home with is a bonus towards extras/savings. When I worked full time so I lef the house with 2 kids and came home with them, with the 3rd being home any min, I felt like I was choking.

HonesttoGod

Wed, May 22 2024, 3:55 pm

I work because I need too.
And I enjoy it.
And I’d work even if I didn’t need to but at a way less demanding job (less hours / less days).

mamawfh

Wed, May 22 2024, 11:44 pm

I only work because I need it.

I really don’t see the life of a working mom being able to work all around. I dream about the day I can stop

synthy

Thu, May 23 2024, 12:31 am

I didn’t vote because it’s a mix of everything. Do I enjoy working? No, but I need the stimulation and pressure or else I’ll go insane. Based on knowing this about myself, I married my dh who’s the type to learn in kollel for several years. I see he’s thriving there, so I want him to stay as long as possible. Therefore I need the money.
Moreover, I now earn a beautiful wage. If my dh were to go out to work he’d earn less than me as a beginner, and I wouldn’t be able to continue working without his help in the morning and lunch break. So I’m basically stuck, and I hate that feeling.

buspickup

Thu, May 23 2024, 12:44 am

I love working and I’m working because I have to, for my mental health. I Love the structure and the schedule that a f/t job provides. My brain needs to be pricked in order to be fulfilled.

When I was a SAHM for six months I couldn’t handle it. Nothing got done and I couldn’t even make supper properly everything was a mess. But now when I work, everything is on schedule and I have more patience to do everything that needs to be done bh.

ora_43

Thu, May 23 2024, 7:31 am

amother Stone wrote:

This.

There's a whole range of jobs. How interesting is the job. How good are you at the job. How flexible are the hours. How friendly are your coworkers, how supportive is your boss. How long are the hours.

And there's a range of home situations. How old are your kids. How hard are your pregnancies. How good are your daycare arrangements. How helpful is your spouse. How good are you at cleaning, cooking, organizing, early-childhood education, and how much do you like it.

Working 25 hours a week, flexible hours, nice coworkers, supportive boss who's generous with the praise, doing something you enjoy and are good at, while your super-social toddler is having fun in a well-funded daycare they enjoy? Beautiful.

Working 45 hours a week for a demanding, hypercritical boss, doing boring work, while your 3-month-old baby is in an understaffed daycare? Nightmare.

ora_43

Thu, May 23 2024, 7:35 am

I like my job, but getting into a position I like, in my field, that pays decently, was a process. And I have a pretty sweet situation right now in terms of hours, flexibility, childcare, etc. So I do like working but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm different from the mom who hates it - just that I'm in an easier situation.

Although unlike some, I would never want to not be working at all. If nothing else, I hate housework so much that I'd rather do 2 hours of work in my field to pay for housework, if it came to that, than 1 hour of actual housework.

But also, I have interests/skills I'd want to keep pursuing.

amother

Heather

Thu, May 23 2024, 4:06 pm

These results really surprise me. 92% of working moms are positive about it?!?

Idk any working mom I talk to is super stressed about life and would love to quit.

amother

Candycane

Thu, May 23 2024, 4:09 pm

amother Heather wrote:

These results really surprise me. 92% of working moms are positive about it?!?

Idk any working mom I talk to is super stressed about life and would love to quit.

I think most people in general try to make the best of it. Its not a choice for most so we might as well enjoy it.

hodeez

Thu, May 23 2024, 4:10 pm

I wish I could just be a homemaker

amother

Birch

Thu, May 23 2024, 4:25 pm

I voted the first option, even though I usually take a month off in the summer and I love that break too to just be with my kids. I work part time while my kids are in school/camp, and it's work that I absolutely love (and do well!). It definitely fills me in a way that other parts of my life don't. I feel very fortunate to be in this situation.

amother

Steelblue

Thu, May 23 2024, 4:37 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

unpopular opinion - the entrance of women in the workforce is what is behind some of western societys downfall
children are not being raised by whole parents. this affects early attachment, and later maturity and development.

OBVIOUSLY I know there some women who really truly thrive in a work environment but I think its the exception not the rule and most of us are trying to contort ourselves to fit into modern society's DESTRUCTION of what humanity should be.

I dont mean this in an anti feminist way at all. I think women are smart, capable and wonderful. but I think many of us are led to deny our basic biological makeup/desire for the way our lives are set up today. and I think the minimization of motherhood and housewifery is a tragedy.

💯

amother

Stone

Thu, May 23 2024, 9:37 pm

Earning my own keep makes me an equal independent adult and not my husband's dependent child. Sure, a sahm more than earns her keep by keeping house (so do working moms who don't have the luxury of a housekeeper), but she's still dependent on her dh goodwill.

Earning my own keep sets me free. It means I got married and stay married by choice, not by necessity. It means that when I buy dh a gift, I'm paying for it out of money I earned, not out of an allowance he gives me. It means that if I care to treat myself to something, there's no guilt about wasting his hard-earned money. It means that if G-d forbid dh loses his job or his business goes gown the tubes, we still have money coming in.

Yes, it's stressful. So is anxiety. So is being dependent and subordinate.

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