Do you have an easy child? Does it exist?

amother

Maize

Tue, May 21 2024, 11:47 pm

One of the mothers of the boys who died by the meron tragedy was saying that he was her easiest child never gave her any hardships with anything. Not at home or at school. Not as a baby or as a teenager...
Iyh we should be zoche that our children always give us nachas!!

amother

Mustard

Wed, May 22 2024, 2:00 am

Yes. I have 4 kids, the youngest is a baby, the others are age 3+. The baby is kinda difficult, but the 3 bigger kids are ALL easy! I am optimistic that when the baby gets out of babyhood he will become easy, though I could be wrong.

I was an easy child myself, always well behaved. Even today I am a rule follower and almost always on time or early. I think there is definitely a genetic component.

amother

Burgundy

Wed, May 22 2024, 5:43 am

I think all kids are hard at one stage and easier at others.
My easiest baby who slept through the night at 6 weeks old and was a really easy toddler gives me a very hard time now at age 10. He is ADD and all over the place, won't do school work or study and takes everything out of me.
My baby who never slept through the night is BH an amazing 13 year old who is my biggest helper.
My son who was the biggest trouble maker and drove me crazy from age 3-8 is now a really mature teenager who is helpful and goes to shul and learns and is ka"h an amazing kid.
Looking back, I would rather harder babies and easier teenagers which gives me hope because my toddler is sooo wild now so IY"H he will be a great kid!

amother

Hydrangea

Wed, May 22 2024, 10:02 am

giftedmom wrote:

I think it depends a lot on parents attitude, personality, and approach to child-raising.
I was labeled a hard child. I have a kid who is very much like me and I find them the easiest of my kids.
In general I’ve been asked by school staff how I handle my “hard kids” and I dunno, I don’t find them hard. They’re just kids.

My kid with my personality is also easier for me but isnt an easy kid, they're considered an objectively difficult child, misbehaved in school, chutzpadig, etc.Very intense traits and strong sense of justice. But I personally have a harder time with my spaced out , too chilled child even though that kid is overall better behaved but it's because of not being all there which I don't see as a good thing.

IOW, whom you get along better with doesn't mean easy or hard.

amother

Oleander

Wed, May 22 2024, 2:30 pm

I have off the charts easy B'H Chasdei Hashem from birth (now in high teens) followed by absolutely off the charts hard. The rest are a mix. My point is that just because you have a couple difficult kids doesn't mean you won't get an easy one!

amother

Melon

Wed, May 22 2024, 4:21 pm

I think my oldest is quite easy, however my husband thinks she is difficult. I think the baby is harder, my husband thinks she's easier.

Some kids are objectively hard or objectively easy, but I think most kids fall in between and how hard or easy they are depends on their personality and yours. Which is why my husband and I perceive our kids so differently, we have different personalities.

amother

Yolk

Thu, May 23 2024, 6:25 am

amother Melon wrote:

Agree totally! My son and I clash very much, because we are almost complete opposites. Love him dearly but find it really hard to know how to deal with him. Dh is way better with him because they are more similar.

amother

Feverfew

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:43 am

Mine are all pretty easy, BH & bli ayin hara. The youngest can be unreasonable at times, but he is only 2, so I hope it is temporary. DH and I are also pretty easy I think, in that we are mostly get-along type people.