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↑ 33055 ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:39 pm

alis_al_kulana wrote:

According to the thread is not the Rebbe living well, he's even taking care of the poor people for pesach.

Actually, you are missing who is taking care of the poor people for Pesach.

amother

↑ Brown ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:41 pm

lfab wrote:

Wow! I can't believe how many people are attacking the OP. Making her out to be a jealous, bitter woman. Nowhere did she say she didn't want people who needed it to get packages and help for yom tov. She never even said she didn't want this specific neighbor of hers to get the help. Her biggest complaint was against the organizations that are giving out these packages. Why are they raising the bar? Noone said anywhere that those receiving help need to live off of potatoes and water for the week. Give them chicken, grape juice, eggs, cheese, apples, melons, peppers, cucumbers, even some yogurts (which are not particularly cheap!). Even include a roast or two, because yes it's yom tov. But multiple meats? Or the most expensive cuts? The kids need new shoes? Give them $30 or so towards a new pair for each, no need for $80 shoes. Kids should have a new outfit for yom tov? Again $30 per child, maybe more for older boys who need a suit. My own kids each got an $18 dress from childrens place for yom tov. Even with needing to buy matching shells it's still under $30 per outfit. B"H I'm able to afford that expense and I have no complaints. But if it's good enough for those of us who are working then shouldn't a $30 outfit from children's place, tjmaxx, H&M, etc. be good enough for those receiving this help too? This is why I am so careful which organizations I give my tzedaka money to. I want my money to go towards actual needs not luxuries. If I found out the money I gave to give someone chicken or matzah for pesach really went toward purchasing expensive clothes or fancy headbands (items I would never ever be able to justify purchasing for myself) I'd be furious.

BUT WHY IS ANY OF IT OP’S BUSINESS? Is she personally donating to this organization which is supposedly misusing the funds (in her opinion) by providing better food items than she approves of?! Who is she to decide what a needy person needs or doesn’t need? Her post reeks of pure jealousy and nothing more.

amother

↑ Brown ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:42 pm

amother wrote:

Where did she say she wanted people to deliver her boxes of food?

If I was unhappy with the way my tzadaka dollars were being used - I'd find a different place to give to. That solves it for me.

That’s exactly the point! OP does not donate to this organization! What right does she have to judge or comment on what they provide?>

amother

↑ Brown ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:43 pm

amother wrote:

Alis al kulana, I didn't say I'm jealous, I said I'm bothered. And I'm not the only one that is bothered by this. But I got over it & im going on. The system will always be broken & crooked. We will always be paying for the people that don't pay......

You’re paying for them? Have you donated a dime to this organization?

amother

↑ Brown

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:47 pm

oliveoil wrote:

Why is it so hard to understand why the OP is upset?

It's like going to college for 6 years to get a good job, graduating with a masters, and then seeing that your friend who never even enrolled was just handed a PHD along with a starting position at double your salary.

Of course you would be outraged!

And it does no favors to the poor or the greater community either.

When the poor become accustomed to living an upper class lifestyle, the level of expectation in the community as a whole goes up. After all, this is the expected base line now.

Not to mention, it's a lot harder to climb out of poverty if you have unrealistic spending expectations.

It shows an absolute lack of emunah and negates that G-d has a hand in this! The organization Sister to Sister for divorced women, sends out to its members a piece of jewelry before every major Yom Tov. I’m sure OP would condemn that as well, as in her opinion, the women should be receiving rotten apples instead.

↑ oliveoil ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:48 pm

amother wrote:

You're taking it to an extreme no one said.

The OP didn't say they should go hungry or have rotten food or only eggs and potatoes. No one did.

↑ alis_al_kulana ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:50 pm

oliveoil wrote:

You're taking it to an extreme no one said.

The OP didn't say they should go hungry or have rotten food or only eggs and potatoes. No one did.

Right, she only said they shouldn't have mangos or nosh or meat except for very cheap cuts.

↑ oliveoil ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 3:04 pm

alis_al_kulana wrote:

Right, she only said they shouldn't have mangos or nosh or meat except for very cheap cuts.

Yes. Those things are luxuries that many middle class, hard-working people forgo or buy in small quantities on occasion as a special treat.

↑ oliveoil

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 3:05 pm

It is a whole leap from "no mangoes" to "only rotten apples" and from "chicken, not meat" to "water and potatoes."

People are pouncing here and imagining things that no one said.

amother

↑ Plum ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 3:06 pm

Many of the posters attacking op are probably recipients of tuition breaks etc.. so they’re getting super defensive.
Those who are saying the system enables “takers” are the givers who are fed up with a system that is getting worse and creating more takers.
No one is saying “eat rotten apples”(seriously?!) but the level of “doing nothing”, pumping out a million kids, and expecting everyone to finance a lifestyle above your means has gotten waaay out of hand.
I’m all for giving tzedakka, believe me those of us that are upset are the ones giving, but It’s enough giving so that you can live an upperclass life style without working for it.

cookiecutter

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 3:14 pm

Ribono Shel Olam, we are on the cusp of the time of Dayenu, when your children recall the succession of wonders you bestowed on us, each of which alone would have been "dai", enough. And we remember your promise to your children: [I will] open for you the windows of the heavens and pour out bounty in measures surpassing "dai". (Malachi 3:10). Our sages of blessed memory expounded on your promises, that the bounty will be so great that our lips will be worn from protesting, enough!

It seems that the children have surpassed the father. For we remain in need of your salvation - poverty and illness run rampant, we are directionless and starved of your presence. But there resides within us such abundant generosity that people say of our gifts, "dai", enough already. When people turn to your children for tzedaka, they are answered in bountiful measure, but when your children rely solely on you they remain bereft. Before the churban, you lamented, "children I have raised and exalted [above me], yet they have betrayed me." (Yeshayahu 1:1). By exalting themselves above you in mercy, your children have atoned for their sins. May it be Your will, Ribono Shel Olam, that this season of Dayenu be the path to the epoch of bracha ad b'li dai.

↑ 33055 ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 3:15 pm

amother wrote:

There is a confusion between tzedakka and redistributing government funds. It doesn't make me a self hater to realize this can't continue at this rate.

amother

↑ Mistyrose ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 4:07 pm

I don't think the government is handing out kimcha d'pischa... but maybe I don't understand fully... the concept is - residents of monsey's taxes go to support new square services so new square has more money in their pockets to give to tzdaka to give their 'ex pats' in monsey money for fancy pesach food.

↑ alis_al_kulana ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 4:09 pm

I. Was being sarcastic.

Poor Pele can eat mangoes on pesach without any guilt

Kiwi13 ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 4:12 pm

lfab wrote:

What I'm hearing in the op is not that she'd necessarily upset that they are getting help but that what they get is way above the basic standard. If some needs help, fine, give them chicken, maybe a meat or two, basic fruits, veggies, potatoes, onions, eggs, etc. But the fanciest meats? And lots of it? mango? Shoes/clothes from the most expensive stores? That's not necessary. Make sure each child had a new pair of shoes but from target or Marshalls like many middle class people. Not the cheapest junk, but not the most expensive either. And that's where I hear the most frustration. That the people who get the tzedaka (and I have no problem with people getting since like others have said we don't really know what's going on) but when they have 12 kids walking around in $80+ dollar shoes while hardworking people debate spending $25 vs $15 so they can get the slightly nicer pair for their own kids, it hurts. And makes one question what the point of working so hard is.

Even beyond the points you make, if less pricy (but still good) items were given out, more people could be helped.

amother

↑ Teal

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 4:41 pm

If OP isn't skver (which I'm not either) then I don't see how her agnst makes any sense. The money they are receiving from their community has nothing to do with her. Even if she wouldn't work, she wouldn't receive these resources anyway.

amother

↑ Wheat ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 5:01 pm

amother wrote:

You are so so wrong! Bh we are on the giving end, yet op's attitude rubs me the wrong way. This is not a way a jewish sister should speak or think ever! Fargin! Yes we work hard, yes pesach is very expensive. Yet im so glad to be able to give with all my heart to the peaple that need it!!!! This thread is just so sad.

shoshanim999 ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 5:08 pm

amother wrote:

What kind of comparison is this? Kimcha dpischa helps people in financial difficulty. A family that is not struggling or making an effort to help themselves and still takes, is abusing the kindness of this organization. Op is resentful that this family is not helping themselves. Sister to sister is helping divorced woman and gifting them not on the basis of finances, but simply because single divorced woman often have it hard and feel alone and the gift in part is a way of saying, we are thinking of you and we care. Also, the op's stance doesn't contradict emunah. If in fact the family the op is referring to is completely abusing the system and taking advantage, I don't think it's reasonable to say that the fact they are successful in abusing the system, must mean hashem wants them to have the pesach package.

amother

↑ Wheat ↓

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 5:15 pm

amother wrote:

When something bothers you it comes from jealousy.

↑ shoshanim999

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 5:18 pm

amother wrote:

It's human nature that when we personally see an injustice taking place right under our nose, we care. It doesn't matter that it has nothing to do with us. If you would be in the supermarket right now and you would actually witness someone stealing food items or pick-pocketing shoppers, you would probably feel angry seeing it take place. However, If your at home and your friend calls you and tells you that while she was shopping in her supermarket she saw someone stealing, this story would have much less of an impact on you than when you saw it yourself. The op lives right next to these people and believes they are abusing the system right under her nose.

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