I need help dealing with my neighbor!

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

1 2 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Laughing Bag!

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 9:06 pm

I have this next door neighbor who is very nice, actually extremly nice lacking very much social skills as part of her issues. I try to be good neighbors inviting her, talking to her her kids play in my house alot of course shell join most of the time... However we share a porch and thats where My problem starts. As long as its only the comming and going im fine to be extra nice but then I do like my space which I dont get on the porch. I love sitting out as I only have a baby, I dont need to go down to the busses I use the porch. I try to keep my side of the Porch clean and neat however when it comes to my baby she doesnt see the difference. The attractive part of the porch is the other side; she'll find wrappers, spoons plates leftover crums/ pieces of food... As babys do it goes right into her mouth. I tried telling my neighbor to keep her side clean as best as I could without offending her as shes a sensitive case, it hasnt worked. Orriginally we thought wed be able to put a division but its too sensitive... And NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE! I cry to my husband but he has such soft spot for Nebachs so I get no where! My baby's brand new bike got all scrached looking like it 100 years old bc this neighbors kids were abusing it out on the porch (now I keep it inside). I just dont know who to vent so I came her.
HELP!

ysydmom

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 9:09 pm

no real advice but I have the same prob. with my neighbor. don't know what to do. I don't think there is anything to do unless you own the house, try speaking to the landlord.

I just live and deal with it.

5S5Sr7z3

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 9:11 pm

#1 - buy a bicycle chain for your bikes.
#2 - learnt this from experience, you will get NOWHERE with slobs. I clean up my shared backyard and porch every week.

Laughing Bag!

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 9:17 pm

ysydmom wrote:

I wish I can speak to the landlord hed want them out befor that however I cant be that insensitive! Could I?

Laughing Bag!

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 9:21 pm

IYamWhoIYam wrote:

#1 - buy a bicycle chain for your bikes.
#2 - learnt this from experience, you will get NOWHERE with slobs. I clean up my shared backyard and porch every week.

Ur right I should get a lock
and about the mess it does get cleaned up sometimes either the next rain or every friday sometimes every other week but for me every day makes a diffrence as my baby is ou there picking up whatever she finds regardless of the yesterdays cleanup! And I did have a broom out so I could Sweep up I dont know where it dissapeard to?! Ive tried asking but with these people u get nowhere!

mother48

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 9:25 pm

why don't you use your baby as an excuse? Say, it's to hard watch her etc from inside or something when she crawls, so we'd like to put a gate to limit her.
tell them, I'm sure you understand, you know how babys are, and they'll feel foolish not to agree.

ChutzPAh

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 9:30 pm

mother48 wrote:

that's what I was going to say. Put up a divider under the guise of safety for your baby.

Basimcha

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 9:43 pm

I would discuss it with her about putting up a divider. You can always tell her that you want to do it for your babys safety. I dont see anything wrong with it.

Laughing Bag!

Sun, Jun 20 2010, 2:11 pm

Basimcha wrote:

I would discuss it with her about putting up a divider. You can always tell her that you want to do it for your babys safety. I dont see anything wrong with it.

I would try that however the person putting up the divider would be my DH and he is not interested. He's too good to even attempt hurting these neighbors feelings! I'm TOTALLY STUCK!

mirror

Sun, Jun 20 2010, 6:01 pm

I agree with all the above posters.

Perhaps you should speak to a Rav with your husband. Babies do put things in their mouths, and putting up a fence as a safety precaution should not hurt her feelings in any way.

imabima

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 5:09 pm

Depending on the size of the porch, you could use either a pressure ounted gate and only put it up when you're out or one of the 6-panel gray baby corralls from babys r us. Again, just put it out when you are there and fold it up when you're not so they won't be hurt. hatzlacha!

Laughing Bag!

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 5:15 pm

imabima wrote:

Thanks for your Idea I think this is the right thing to do Ill just need to measure if I can fit it in. And I hope DH will agee to that I can't see why not.

faigie

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 5:18 pm

id explain to my husband that this is affecting my mental health and my childs physical health. you need a divider.having rachmonis on someone is fine, but he has to have rachmonis for his own wife first.

Laughing Bag!

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 5:33 pm

faigie wrote:

try to explain he just is too soft and explains back to me how we need to be nice to such people but now I'll try him to get me the removable gates.

faigie

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 6:53 pm

if you could also put up some sort of pretty mechitza up against the gate, ,then you wouldnt have to look at her mess........

pumpernickle

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 6:59 pm

I think a play yard fence kind of idea is still the best option if it fits. They come in various sizes.

Mommastuff

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 9:09 pm

What about cleaning up her side of the porch when you do yours? It's more work and I don't know how big it is, but if you're calling them 'nebech', maybe they could use the help! Smile

AlwaysGrateful

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 9:34 pm

I agree with Mommastuff. I don't share a porch, nor do I have a bunch of kids right now. But if I did, I could certainly see not being able to keep all the wrappers and things off the floor of the porch on a daily basis. If it bothers you, can you just sweep it away when you go outside? If it's really all garbage, I can't imagine she'd have a problem with you doing that.

I would do that before doing something that might offend. I see your dh's point of view, although I hear your frustration as well.

amother

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 10:01 pm

How old is your baby? I've been in the situation before and know it's tough, and I think the best thing for you would be to figure out how to physically make sure your child won't be hurt, but it would also be wise to let go emotionally. Little babies don't stay small for so long, and soon grow into bigger children who make bigger messes. (If it's not them, then trust me, there will be another wilder sibling who will come along and break the mold!) It may not be long until you're on the other side of the fence and are running around like a chicken without a head protecting your neighbor's property from the handiwork of you're own little angels.

(Yes, I often spend my afternoons with a bottle of windex so that the neighbors window shouldn't have fingerprints, and a shmatteh so that they're nice bench doesn't get freeze pop stains. I can't wait for my neighbor's baby to grow up and start making messes too! LOL

)

Laughing Bag!

Sun, Jun 27 2010, 11:09 pm

Its not so much her kids that bother me its the fact that she couldnt care less. Yes IY"H when my daughter is going to be older I'll teach her to keep things as clean as possible and yes even now I tell her to pick up her food that she throws down cuz we need to put it in the garrbage I try to make her do it, shes 16m but B"H very she understands. I myself wouldnt leave a mess when I go in However my neighbor herself unfortunatly does drop her oun garbage/ food/ wrappers... no matter what side of the porch shes on. for example she bit offthe top of a freeze pop for her kid; instead of sending the kid back in to the garbage withit she kept it in her mouth, then droped it right where she was sitting!( next to my door) NOW THIS I CALL NEGLECTED MANNERS! Neither me nor my husband can tolerate it however My DH keeps saying Yiddish Blit is nisht kein vassser. I know hes amazing for keeping it up like that but I claim that hes not there all day Im the one getting annoyed everytime over. Like when my DD new bike got scrached up I was furrious and waited to tell DH He only "realized" a few days later what I meant when he "noticed the bike looking 100 years old. only then did he say right keep it inside b4 cthat he was saying be nice to them... How long can I be nice I just dont have the same Middus What can I do!

Page 1 of 2

1 2 Next