Eating out in Williamsberg

newlymarried

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 12:09 pm

I had an appointment in williamsberg, and afterwards my husband and I stopped to have a slice of pizza before we came home. Many people gave us funny looks in the pizza store, so I was wondering if it's very not done to eat out with your husband, or is it just because we look different to most people there?

kitov

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 1:41 pm

You mean eating out in Williamsburg, Virginia. Since you didn't specify, and there's life out of Brooklyn too, and I doubt Brooklynites stare at feasting couples, I assume you meant Virginia. I can see why non Jews would stare at frum people, we do look different than secular society.

MamaBear

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 3:10 pm

She obviously cares enough to post it here and I personally would be curious about people staring at me, too.

And I think we all know she meant Brooklyn...

I think most people don't have the time/ability to eat out with their spouse in the middle of the day/in the middle of a workweek. So perhaps they stared as they contemplated this. Whenever I'm in a hareidi area and dressed in my tichel and denim skirt, I get stares. It's not my imagination and I do notice it. Or maybe they just think I'm stunningly beautiful and can't help but notice. jk

newlymarried

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 3:51 pm

Yes, I did mean in Brooklyn, and I'm not complaining about the staring at all, sorry if it came across that way.
I guess I felt self conscious because my husband was the only man in the place, every one else was mothers and children.

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 4:00 pm

A bit OT here, but it really bothers me when people from other communities come to the city I live in for vacation and they stare at the locals who don't dress to their standards. Also, a little psa here- I may wear a jean skirt and no stockings, but I do understand every word of yiddish that you speak! So please don't talk about me thinking I don't understand. I do.

Maya

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 4:09 pm

newlymarried wrote:

Many people do it, some don't. If anyone stared, I doubt it's because you were eating together. I've done that plenty of time, and have seen others do that, too.

sequoia

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 4:32 pm

I get stared at when I'm over there.

As much as I try to blend in with the locals, it's impossible -- for instance I don't own any shoes that are chassidish. I either wear sneaker or boots.

So they stare, what can you do.

Mama Bear

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 8:48 pm

They didnt stare at you for either reason. they stared at you out of curiosity; the locals are always intrigued when there's a stranger among us Very Happy

mammele26

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 8:58 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

They didnt stare at you for either reason. they stared at you out of curiosity; the locals are always intrigued when there's a stranger among us Very Happy

Yup. I blend in overthere, but I ALWAYS get stared at.

Fox

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:11 am

I'm surprised by the OP's experience. I find WB to be the nicest neighborhood of almost any I've visited. While I'm obviously not Chassidish, my clothes don't stand out too much, and frankly, everyone I encounter treats me like a long-lost relative! They encourage my mangled Yiddish; they come up with the names of anyone they know who ever passed through Chicago; they dig bargains out of the backs of their stores for me; they ask a million questions about Jewish life in Chicago; and they generally pretend not to notice that I'm consuming more than my fair share of french fries at Cafe au Lee! I consider a trip to WB to be the perfect vacation!

downsyndrome

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:24 am

Mama Bear is right; she mirrored my sentiments. Wmsbg. is a sheltered community. Anything different, with no negative connotations, draws attention. That's it - we gotta' face it. I once sat into Cafe au Lee with a non-frum woman who was interviewing me and, boy oh boy!, did we ever get stares. I still get stares whenever I am with my son with Down syndrome. It's fine; I smile at the starers and I am really not upset with them. Anything slightly more colorful than our daily lives here, gets attention.

sequoia

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:29 am

Fox wrote:

Are you kidding me? They STARE! They look at you like you're nuts if you address them in English. The little people come over and stare at your shoes. Williamsburg is fine for those who live there but it's like the least relaxing place on the planet!

Tzippora

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:32 am

I understand that people look at anything different, I understand that it's got no negative connotation. I understand that people seem to think that it's just the way things are.

It's still rude and uncalled for. Saying anything else falls into the soft bigotry of low expectations.

ETA: I grew up right near Williamsburg and had some sustained contact there - many people are lovely, and I wasn't planning to comment until it got into a debate over staring in general rather than in one particular case. Sorry.

downsyndrome

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:34 am

sequoia wrote:

Darling, they don't think you're nuts; they don't understand you!!! Very Happy

English is not the first language for most men in this community and their English language skills, both expressive and receptive, leave a lot to be desired, hence the 'look', which you think is 'staring'; take it from me - it's confusion; they don't know whattcha talkin' about!

Mimisinger

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:38 am

This reminds me of years ago, when I was first married. We were living in Israel and went for the first time to my sil and bil for shabbos. We were staying in another apartment and so had to walk there for meals. Well, while dh was at shul, I walked to their apartment (In Ezras Torah) and the kids there STARED at me.

I was put a bit out and sil said, "what do expect, they don't have tv, what else is interesting to look at?" (sil obv. does not either, but was trying to explain the BLATANT staring, as me just being not of the norm - and here I thought in my suit, stockings, sheital and black shabbos shoes that I would fit in)

They look at what's different. Though, imo adults should know better.

intrigued

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:52 am

kitov wrote:

Funny you are saying this. When I was living in crown Heights, I had an appointment with my OB late friday and once I arrived a major snowstorm began. I was waiting and waiting for the bus and as time is moving I see that I need to think of an alternative. So we try calling the local taxi services and they all said they are running late. I asked DH to google for a regular taxi service that was in Williamsburg not in Crown Heights where we lived. DH gets on the phone and the man is taking down the details when they realize that he called Williamsburg,Virginia. Very Happy

How I got home was a story of it's own.

intrigued

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:56 am

As one of my OB offices were located in Williamsburg I would go to the pizza store next door after the appointments with DH. I never felt that anyone was staring at us. On the contrary that store attracted many different sorts of people and everyone blended in.
Do any of you locals know what pizza store I am referring to? The one on Lee Ave next door the Klinger Practice? Where the Non Jewish workers made sure to tell us "A frelicha Peerim". Smile