for those of you who have made BIG moves... how to decide?

debsters1101

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:12 pm

OK so here is our situation, I need advice from people who have been there done that.
We are a family of 4.5- husband who is an out-of-work entry level accountant (he's almost done with all the CPA tests), me, I'm an OT, and my 2 kids plus one on the way IYH.
We currently live in Queens. We live in an out of the way kind of place, we have lived here for 5 years, about 15 minutes away from kew gardens hills. its a "kiruv community" so they have been paying us to live here this whole time. the contract is now ending and is not being renewed for various reasons having to do with the future of the shul etc. So now we're going to move. the question is, WHERE???
we are already comfortable with queens. we know it, we like it, and the easiest thing is just to pick up and move 5 miles to kew gardens hills. the problem though is that its totally not affordable. well thats not true, if and when my husband actually manages to get a job, it would be affordable but the housing options leave much to be desired. you can either buy a co-op/apartment, or an attached house where you get a square of land as a backyard and mice if your neighbors have them and tiny bedrooms and... yeah.
so, WHERE????? I know many people move to OOT places because of job opportunities. but truth is as an OT I can BH pretty much work anywhere (besides canada and israel lol) and my husband doesn't have any current OOT job prospects so yeah he can start looking for a job in OOT places but the question is where to start.
I have heard so many nice things about so many OOT communities, and I think personality wise (easy going, non judgmental, non materialistic) and hashkafa wise (orthodox. just plain orthodox. not really yeshivish though we don't have a TV and would send our kids to more right wing schools, but my husband is definitely not kollel material though he does love to learn) we would fit in in an OOT community better than NY. and of course then theres the HUUUUUUUGE issue for us of affordable housing.
so if you've moved from NY to OOT, how did you choose a community? once you chose how did you go about finding a house, etc? if every OOT comm seems to have "nice warm people who are very accepting of everyone" how do you know which one is right for you? I have read wonderful things here about Dallas so, what, do I just up and book a flight to dallas now to go check it out?
I hope I'm conveying my confusion clearly :-) I'd love to get any and all insight on these kinds of moves.
THANKS!!!!!

amother

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:21 pm

I'm an OT living oot. My #1 piece of advice is to make sure there are jobs that pay well in whatever area you're looking at. You're used to NY rates, so you will be in for a surprise when you find out that some of the salaries are lousy oot! Obviously you will want to weigh it against the lower cost of living. But be wary of that. And same for your husband's job.

shtetl dumpling

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:25 pm

it's probably best if you can spend a shabbos in a few different communities and get a feel for the place and then decide. the way we chose, is that we have family here...
but each of my siblings live somewhere else, so it could've been anywhere too.

debsters1101

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:42 pm

amother, really?? I haven't done much research but from the emails I get on a regular basis.... "come to wyoming!! come to arizona! come to texas! come to nevada! we'll buy you a house/pay your moving expenses/give you our first born children!!" lol they seem pretty desperate.

debsters1101

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:44 pm

shtetl I know, but there are at least 4 communities I can think of off the top of my head... I should fly out to all these places?? I can see 1 or 2, but gosh that could start to add up to fly to so many places!! thats why it would be easier to just move within NY but I so feel like we need that oot mentality...

gold21

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:50 pm

debster, I agree, it seems like a very confusing process to pick an out-of-town community. even within the tri-state area, its kinda complicated to find the right community. I would also love to see responses.

Last edited by gold21 on Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:51 pm

Baltimore has a great market for OTs and I just read that they're one of the highest paying for that field.

amother

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:53 pm

debsters1101 wrote:

Ye, that's Wyoming lol. I won't say it's lousy everywhere, I'm sure you can find respectable salaries oot too. I just wanted to share my experience as a NY grad who was unpleasantly surprised by the awful rates where I live. They might be desperate, doesn't mean they pay well.

Btw, I do know you Smile

Just wondering why you aren't considering the city you grew up in?

debsters1101

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 6:57 pm

oh amother do not tease me like that! if I PM you will you reveal yourself?? ;-)
truth is you're right, if I'm going to leave my current (AMAZING) job anyway, I might as well consider communities in my state of origin. hmph. thanks for making this more confusing.

amother

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:03 pm

I know you too Smile

and that neighborhood is expensive!!

joy613

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:11 pm

How oot would you consider? Wyoming is very different than Baltimore. Maybe it would help if you first narrow it down to how big a community you would like. Are you okay with somewhere really remote, newly established kehilla and very few frum families? I'm not sure what places those are- sounds like wyoming is like that. Might be really hard for someone coming from NY.
If not those, then there oot places that are a little more established and larger community. (Houston,?)
And then there are the really established and even bigger oot cities. I'm thinking baltimore, chicago, miami, cleveland,?,
whatever I might be wrong with some of them but you get my point.

You should make a list of all the cites you have heard about, and go through them one by one what type they are and if you would consider that level OOT. IF you don't know what type of place it is make phone calls to find out. You'll have to make lots of phone calls. I think once you hear a basic outline of each place you might be able to narrow it down. Once that's done I woud call a lot of people in those cities to talk about it. I'm sure there are ways to get phone numbers of people willing to speak about their location. You get different viewpoint from everyone.
I think that's the best way to start.
good luck!

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:11 pm

My sister (just finished her masters in OT) said places like Arizona are desperate and do have great sign on bonuses...she's not moving there though Tongue Out

debsters1101

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:16 pm

ok if you know me seriously come on tell me who you are cuz you're gonna drive me crazy haha. the area I grew up in is not cheap cheap but it is certainly no comparison to queens, and does compare more closely with, say, dallas though it is a bit more expensive than dallas. I remembered a few reason I didn't want to move there, I think the yeshivish is too yeshivish and the modern is too modern. there are those in between but not a big community of them.
no, I am not moving to Wyoming lol. I was thinking more along the lines of moderately sized OOT like Dallas, Atlanta, maybe tuscon? baltimore never even occured to me I thought it was super yeshivish?

amother

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:26 pm

debsters1101 wrote:

Now *I'm* disappointed, because dh and I were just discussing your hometown as an option. But we are also very middle of the rd. The places you listed sound like good options to start. What about Houston? I heard nice things, and the job market in general is good there. Sorry if I'm making this even more complicated Smile

For me, the school would be a biggie. I would find out what the schools are like in those places.

debsters1101

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:28 pm

yes, the school in dallas seems amazing and so does the community. maybe we should go check it out just as a jumping off point.
please oh please do NOT take my word for it on my home community!!! go check it out!! it really is a wonderful wonderful community and I think I'm just a little too close to it to see it for what it is, you know? if you want shabbos accommodation hook ups let me know.

amother

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:34 pm

Thanks! The only time I've actually been there was for your vort lol. Dallas always intrigued me too. Keep us posted!

debsters1101

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:39 pm

omg lol are you one of my touro friends hahahahaha

amother

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:53 pm

My dh works in a medical field. Those cards you get begging you to work for them are middle of nowhere, population 1000 towns. They are desperate for professionals. The OOT communities people refer to, like St Louis or Denver, are thriving mid sized cities. And pay does vary with some salaries way below NY, some on par. Tuition where I am is only a bit lower than North Jersey.

SingALong

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:56 pm

Another vote for Baltimore...

No one mentioned Milwaukee, very cheap housing but you can check out OT opportunities there. Another is plus is that I think they may have vouchers for schools so tuition is less...not sure how it works. Very nice community. Google them I think the shul there has a website.

Also check out Atlanta Georgia, don't know how expensive the housing is, but an OT I know got a job there pretty easily.

SingALong

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 7:59 pm

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