How to stop bullying...

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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precious

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 10:05 pm

What can we do to stop bullying?

As teachers, what should we say to the bully, and what should we say to the victom?
As parents, what should we say to the bully or victom?

can we share clear ideas of what to say or do to put an end to the bullying and to help the victom stand up for him/herself and feel good about him/herself...

SingALong

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 11:25 pm

As a parent, when my dd was once bullied, I did 2 things.
1. It was a neighbor, so I dealt with the parent. At first they denied it, but when mrs neighbor saw her kid in action, and it came to the point where he was physically hitting ME if I stood near dd to protect her, neighbor supervised her son more, and disciplined, bullying stopped.
2. I spoke to my dd, explained how this kid was wrong, told her to AVOID him, got her books about bullying, told her to always come to me when he bothers her, and boosted her self esteem as much as possible. I'd also invite a couple of her friends to play inside with, bake, project, whatever, so she could avoid this kid and still be with friends.

Thankfully, the parent finally stepped in so it stopped.
In a school situation I think a parent needs to involve the school/teacher, as they are the ones supervising.

amother

Mon, Jun 04 2012, 2:44 am

What about bullying outside school?

I have an interesting "bullying" situation. DS has an otherwise good friend who plays amazingly well with him but randomly turns into a hostile enemy, needing to feel superior to DS and attacking him physically, messing his work up, invalidating his ideas or whatever DS has to offer (e.g. DS offers him a wafer, he makes a big deal about not liking them, and the next day, you'll see him with a packet of the very same thing.) What do you think fuels this type of thing? How do you handle this type of thing? He seems to have a sort of superiority complex or something. It would be easier in a way if this was a boy from a family we don't know who were always hostile, but since his family is friendly and neighborly, he is in my son's class, and he lives close, and besides for these episodes he gets on so well with DS, it is more difficult.

willow

Mon, Jun 04 2012, 1:40 pm

I had bullies in my school but thankfully was never bullied myself. I wish somehow I could have had the courage to stand up for those being hurt by the awful verbal abuse/behavior but I did not have a loud personality nor was I confident to do so. I still have dreams where I stood up and said something. It bothers me so so much and still I cower in in front of big mouths. I am working on it and I hope somehow to convey to my children that even though it is scary to stand up for those being tormented.

SS6099

Mon, Jun 04 2012, 1:51 pm

OMG- I love this forum. I just posted a different topic on how to deal with DS being bullied, and I could really use suggestions. We're talking about a neighbor, same age, not in the same school....

precious

Mon, Jun 04 2012, 8:58 pm

doesn't anyone have any ideas???
I need to deal with bullying in my class and with neighbors!!

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